HOLY SHIT

Oh my god, it's a fucking DELUGE outside. Steve
Carrell, where are you and your Morgan Freeman/God
inspired ark?

I mean, yes, glad that it's raining; we desperately
need it, but shiiiiiiit.

I just got to school in Chicago, parked in the garage
and all hell broke loose. I escorted a pretty man to
the library under my umbrella. We both got soaked on a
side and back. I have flip flops on, so I was
practically falling out of them in the running water.

After I got the guy to the library, I pulled off my
flippies and ran to the fine arts building. I am
positively soaked, my umbrella didn't count for much.
I was yelping and screaming as I ran to the building.

Shit, for that matter, I was yipping and going OH MY
GOD while I was escorting the guy. This big ass
lightning bolt hit not too far away and CRAAAAASH!

*screams some more*

AAAAAARRRRRGHHH!!!!

Edit: Jesus Christ. Campus just flooded. Two computer labs down and water was positively streaming down the stairs in the financial aid office. Lovely. Campus was closed about 4:30pm. Which sucked, becaaaaause...traffic trying to leave was ricockulously bad. IT TOOK ME A FUCKING HOUR TO GO A MILE AWAY FROM CAMPUS. OH MY GOD. I HATED IT. It took me TWO HOURS to get home. *weeps*

What's Shaking

It's time for comfort-video-ing. I've got Jane
Austen's "Persuasion" in the dvd player. I love it. I
was introduced to this production (starring Ciaran
Hinds as Cpt Wentworth) during last semester's Jane
Austen class. Pair this off with Emma Thompson's
"Sense and Sensibility"? Perfect.

Drinking some Pomme Lambic of Lindemann's. Yesss.

I went the Lucky 7 Tattoo Studio in Libertyville on
Friday after work to make some preliminary inquiries
about getting a new tattoo. I've had a bull tattoo
(silhouette of the RedBull Bull) on my right upper
thigh for I don't know how long now. Sometime just
after college (2000 or thereabouts). I've been wanting
to get a new one, but hadn't come up with something
really meaningful that I wanted, until seeing the
Strength card of the Tarot of Prague deck. Check it
out: you can see it on the <a
href=http://www.tarotofprague.com/home.htm>front
page</a> of the website for the tarot deck. It would
just be the woman and the lion.

The woman, Sandy, said it would probably take about
1-1 1/2 hours to do. Looking like a $300 tattoo. The
time and the money didn't shock me, but when she told
me how large I'd need to get it to really get good
detail: 8 inches, or better yet 10, I was like
"oooooof". I like keeping my tattoo(s) under wraps. An
eight inch tattoo...that's a committment. She
recommended my upper thigh, which is fine.

Gotta think about it some more.

I like maple syrup

More (possibly) to be posted later.

 

But wouldn't you all agree that maple syrup has a lovely color (in addition to being sweet and sticky)?

 

*runs off to turn on the cold shower in the back of brain*

EDIT: So, what is this maple syrup diversion you ask? I was trying to think of what would accurately describe the shade of Mr. Lassi's skin. After obsessing for far too long about it, it suddenly hit me: maple syrup. A nice dark maple syrup - not super dark, but dark. Ambery.

Sorta like this:

And a happy birthday...

to the hottest royal out there: Prince William.

 

(Shut the fuck up, yes, I think he's hot!)

MY SEXY BARRETT GOT TRADED?!

WHAT THE FUCK, CUBS?!

Sophomoric

Main Entry: soph·o·mor·ic

Pronunciation: "säf-'mor-ik, -'mär- also "sof- or "sä-f&- or "so-f&-
Function: adjective
1 : conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature <a sophomoric argument>
2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of a sophomore <sophomoric humor>

 

Main Entry: ¹soph·o·more
Pronunciation: 'säf-"mor also 'sof- or 'sä-f&- or 'so-f&-
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Greek sophos wise + mOros foolish
: a student in the second year at college or a 4-year secondary school

 

Cards that should have been rethought (for people who think of all the wrong things, like myself):

 

The other day, whilst perusing Father's Day cards, I saw this one with a drawing on front of a girl leaning, chin in hands, on a table. The inside said, "To my dad, the only man to never give me a headache."

 

I snorted and immediately thought, "Bullshit. MY dad has given me plenty of headaches! What a stupid card." As the card rattled back into its slot, another thought hit me: headaches. Men. Women. When do women tell men, "Not now, I have a headache!" OhdearchristonacrackerYUCK!!! The card went from just being stupid to deeply ooky in about 2 seconds. I stood back from the card rack and looked on horrified before walking away.

 

 

Is it a cow? Or a hermaphrodite?

 

People, know how to classify your animals. Remember the "Barnyard" animated movie (hopefully not, it'll mean you weren't exposed to its outrageous inaccuracies), or even its trailers? A bunch of boy STEERS. Because cows are females, NOT males. If you ever saw the trailer, you'll have perhaps noticed that all the boys HAD UDDERS. WROOooOONG! And worse? The cows running away from some trouble they'd caused, with one of them yelling "Oh, Milk Me!"

 

Yeah, honey, that isn't an udder and that isn't milk.

 

Deux: Formatting a report at work and I caught something on the organ weight tabulations. It was for females, but there were columns AND data for prostrate and testes. Hmmmmm....

 

I went to the study director and was like "Um, follow me, here. [pointed to word female on page, then slowly drew finger to the word 'prostrate'] Did evolution just get seriously weird?" He replies, "Or our drug is REALLY toxic..." Good humor.

 

Yeah, I'd pronounce it that way, too, if my last name were...

 

ASSMANN. This is really a last name of some scientist writing documents in learned medical journals. It made me snark. My (former) boss said "It's actually pronounced 'Ozman'."

 

Whatever. That's ASSMANN, and you and I know it. Funnier, because it was a woman.

 

Another great last name: Boobis.

 

P.S.

 

My squash are growing monstrously. Tomatoes are peeping out.

At work alone

I'm alone at work today (except for my boss). Everyone else is either ill, has a child ill, or is just slagging off.

 

I suppose I could fart to my heart's content in here until my boss comes back...

Cereal and Religion for "Mass'a"

Totally unrelated topics. Just things that have randomly set me off.

 

In one corner, we have everyone's childhood favorite - sugary cereals from Kellogg! When I started watching what kinds of sugars I was eating, most cold cereals were obviously the first to get booted from my diet.  "The Battle Creek, Mich., company avoided a lawsuit threatened by parents and nutrition advocacy groups worried about increasing child obesity. Kellogg intends to formally announce its decision Thursday."

 

You see, most every Kellogg cereal is LOADED with unneccesary sugars. Seriously, all you're eating is fluff, corn, and SUGAR. There is precious little nutritional value in the shit. That's why we all scarf down bowl after bowl - because it doesn't make you feel full. So the whole argument that it's "light, it can't possibly be bad" is shit. You're stuffing yourself full of non-nutritive calories for nothing.

 

Kellogg is supposed to be reformulating their cereals to increase nutrition. Ha. I'll believe it when I see it. They have a handy loophole on the sugar: no more than 12 grams not counting sugar from fruit, dairy and vegetables. I'm confident they'll finangle that to their advantage somehow.

 

NOW, the OTHER CORNER: Winnetka, IL ! Check out the demographics on Wikipedia:

 

"The median income for a household in the village was $167,458, and the median income for a family was $200,000+. Males had a median income of $100,000+ versus $61,513 for females.

 

One of the more conservative suburbs of Chicago, George W. Bush received nearly 60% of the vote in Winnetka (2000 and 2004.)"

 

Winnetka is a classic "Chicago North Shore" community, i.e., RICH and WHITE (96.29%). (And most often stupid Republican.) The homes in this area are RIDICULOUS huge. If you're going to find a minority here, my bet is that said minority is going to either be mowing your lawn or working in your house.

 

Last night after class, I went to dinner with a couple friends. We're all in education. One of them is working in a well-known school in Winnetka. She was hired to work with FOUR kids. That's right. FOUR. Winnetka has the money to do that (whereas a CPS school, most likely, would be like "we don't have money to hire someone to work with 30 kids!"). These kids are refugees (literally, from a refugee camp where they lived on rice and pumpkin for over a year, bad health, no education, the works) from a W. African country. I guess a multifaith initiative in Winnetka sponsored them and they came over. Fifteen of them, four of whom are in the high school and are tutored by my friend.

 

Well, apparently the white fathers of the church/synagogue have gotten sick of the darkies. My friend was telling us how these faithy people have pretty much told the family they need to move out of their rented/sponsored home. The family is pretty much being pushed towards the south side of Chicago. Things that have been said by this group amount to absolute outright racism: "well, they'll be happier there; they'll be around people that look like them, right?" i.e., "they'll be around other black people." AND the worst? "They shouldn't get used to what they can never have." Seriously! My friend has heard A LOT of shit, not only from stupid people in the school, but also from the kids themselves (people have stopped them saying "oh, I donated X$/clothes/whatever for your family at the church - did you get it?"... and they HAVEN'T. The church hasn't given them a damn thing!).  

 

*eyes bug out*

 

WTF?! And this is a charitable multifaith group?! My friends and I are obviously pissed off hearing this. So, not only are they racist fucks, but they're also (apparently) misappropriating donations that people are giving SPECIFICALLY for this family. GOD! It's just mind-blowingly infuriating. There are so many things wrong with this situation.

 

1) So what if they're around other "black" people? I hate to tell you, but oftentimes African-Americans and recently arrived Africans DO NOT get along. Hell-0, two VASTLY different cultures beneath that skin you idiots can't see beyond. Get with the program: do all WHITE people get along - American versus European for instance? Hell no, so why should it be that way if someone is dark skinned?! IDIOTS!

 

2) CHURCHY/organized religion groups once again failing in their mission to love they neighbor. People.Suck.Period.End.

 

3) So much for equality!

 

I seriously just want to choke a bitch down there. To their credit, there are people in the school system ESL program (such as my friend and some co-workers) who are trying their best to be advocates for these kids and protect them. It just seems like they're fighting a losing battle against a group of rich, racist and powerful assholes. These kids have already lived through some horrific shit, now they're upset and worried because they hear stuff like the above. And to top it off, you'll have an idiot administrator waltz in to where the kids are at who talks shit about where they're headed to in Chicago, upsetting the kids, and then just waltzing back out of the room. WTF?! I can't remember which schools my friend mentioned, but suffice it to say they are the very opposite of Winnetka. It's an inner city CPS with no funding, safety concerns, and on the NCLB "failing" list. Yes, those kids are really going to get an education there...

 

Some days I just don't know what to do or think.

 

Props to my friend though. I'm always impressed by what she does.

 

Where did I get such fucking smart (and compassionate to boot) friends? Sometimes I feel horribly inadequate! I just sit here in cyberspace bitching and moaning!

 

Travel

I was watching Samantha Brown on the travel channel last night. She was in Uruguay. Dude, that looks like a cool place to go!

Pineapple Afghan

Lo, it is finally complete. The color is much better in person. It's called "honey". The first shot is a close up of the "pineapple" pattern. This sucker completely covers my bed. It is over five feet long, and it's got to be a good three feet wide. Impressive. And quite, quite snuggly.

toosday

Warm summer months. I think there's something about the onset of summer that drives my sinuses insane. I had pretty bad headaches Sunday and Monday.

I love the warm weather, but not sticky warm weather. The morning and early evening hours are the best; it's before the sun can cook you to a crisp and everything is fresh and calm.

My squash are g r o w i n g! Whee! My tomatoes, however, are causing me some concern. I think I might have needed even bigger pots for them. The roots are growing out the bottoms!

What else is up? At school right now for my 4 o'clock class. I had to get a TB test done today for my fall student teaching. I covered my face with my hand while the nurse stuck me. She was good; I hardly felt a thing. But I am very obviously taking great care NOT to look at my arm. I'll get my arm looked at on Thursday when I come for class that evening. Now all I have to do is pay a ridiculous amount of money for my background check. Have to do that muy pronto. God, I really hate how, as a prospective teacher, you get absolutely stuck with paying for so much shit. I wish it were a tax write off (professional exams, medical tests, background checks, etc...).

Depending on how tired I am after class, I may go for a jog or to the gym. I really do want to finish tucking in the ends of that one afghan (pineapple design, although how the hell those are supposed to look like pineapples is a little beyond me) I just finished. Thing is MASSIVE. Huuuuuuuuge. I will also need to wash it once. God, I hope I don't shrink it or otherwise ruin it. I have the yarn care instructions, obviously, but...

Return of the Hooker

Ha ha -- hooker as in slang for crocheting.

I FINALLY am about to finish one of three afghans I've been working on. I had to go and get the pattern book from the library again. I've got all three panels made and they are now weave-stitched together. I just have to tuck in the loose ends AND do the final edge work around the whole. Thing is fucking MASSIVE. It's got to be close to five feet tall if not more and at least three feet wide. Very snuggly and warm. Which means it will be completely useless until the fall or winter at this point, but oh well.

I should take a picture of it as soon as it's been totally completed. I don't mean to keep it; I'm meaning to give it as a gift. Damn it all, I have gotten attached to the big monster!

Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail - News - Yahoo! TV

Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail - News - Yahoo! TV

It's not faaaaair? Suck my non-existant balls, slut. Throw her mom and dad in jail, too, for thinking they can buy their stupid daughter out of a rightful sentence.

And the sheriff should be fired!

People, I'm so serious - there needs to be a boycott of Hilton properties.

Dude, these pictures are so HAWT.

Tomato craze

I have become crazy about my patio garden. Last night we had bad weather come through the area. There were warnings about heavy winds and golfball sized hail. I grabbed my best potted vegetables and dragged them inside to the laundry room for shelter.

 

Hail missed us.

 

I am nuts - fussing over my plants. If I start singing or playing Mozart for them, please, shove me in a straight jacket.

Unclean

Oh, EWW.

I was watching Medical Mysteries (or ER Mysteries,
something or other) on TLC. Today's started off with
this Orthodox Jewish guy who suddenly started having
grand mal seizures.

The doctors theorized that he had a tapeworm in his
BRAIN (tapeworm GROSS no matter where, but OMG
BRAIN!!) due to bad or improperly cooked pork. But the
kid and his family were all like hell no, we're
Orthodox we don't eat pork.

The mystery goes on...

More and more people in this Orthodox community wind
up showing positive for tapeworm (although no one else
was symptomatic to the degree this guy was) and the
CDC can't figure out WTF is happening until they hit
on something. Many of these Orthodox families employ
housekeepers. Housekeepers that are from third world
countries where tapeworm infestations are still
endemic (often through bad food handling for pork.
Pigs will eat fecal matter...I think I'm going to curb
my pork intake after seeing this...). In particular,
the first family mentioned had had a housekeeper from
Guatemala, but now they had another Latin American.

CDC tests the housekeeper. BINGO. She's got it, as do
many of the other housekeepers (they got over 1800
blood samples from the community).

The nasty? The CDC theorizes that it's these
housekeepers who are acting as disease hosts and that
they are transmitting the tapeworms through the
fecal-oral method. I.E. THEY'RE SHITTING (and the
tapeworm eggs get dispersed in feces) NOT PROPERLY
WASHING THEIR HANDS, AND THEN PREPARING FOOD FOR THEIR
EMPLOYERS! Food which goes on to infect the Orthodox.

OH. GAG. ME.

And this all makes me think of this woman at work who
is annoying on many levels, but she also NEVER WASHES
HER HANDS! I've seen her in the bathroom on several
occasions where she just leaves the stall and goes out
the door without even looking at the sink!! She's not
Latin American (I think she may be from Spain,
actually). Believe you me, we do not refer to this
woman very flatteringly in our office because of her
uncleanliness.

Bike seats...or dildos (Well, apparently if you're crafty it's one and the same!)

You know, some of these bike seats look like they could double as toys. I mean...seriously! Look at them!

But at least this was an informative article about bike seats: Bicycle Seats Explained @ Jim Langley.

OH, and Terry Bicycles: I love the "cutout to reduce pressure on soft tissues" - YEAH.

See comments by Tick for some truly enterprising individuals (NSFW to the EXTREEEME).

All the pain, nothing fun getting there (more on the bike ride)

I literally had one of those reusable cold compresses placed on my girl parts last night because it hurt so bad from that bike ride.

 

I think it's swollen around the area where the edges of the bike seat were. Very UN-sexy. If this is what childbirth (which is what one of my co-workers said it sounds like and she HAS had kids and said it was comparable!) or rough sex is like, I'll pass on both, thank you very much!

 

I had the compress arranged (I was wearing shorts, so no, I didn't have it right on my skin), and then had to gingerly scooch down in bed to get into a prone position, whimpering the whole time. I also placed a pillow under my knees because my legs were hurting. My knees are NOT happy with me today. The first thing I did before even getting out of bed was to grab the bottle of ibuprofen on the nightstand and gulp down two.

 

OMG. Seriously, how do serious cyclists, especially guys do this? Are their nuts shriveled to little walnuts? I look like a crippled old lady getting in and out of my chair today. It's pathetic.

 

Lord, never EVER EVER do a road race/ride of any significant duration on a mountain bike. Sheer stupidity. The last ten miles I wanted to DIE. I was seconds away from sobbing at various points. I wanted to throw myself into a grassy ditch at several points (and this was only around 30 miles) and just weep.

 

The ride started in downtown Milwaukee and then went north. For the 50 mile, our furthest out point was somewhere in north Mequon. We were way the fuck out in BFE Mequon. We went well past (not that anyone besides me here knows this) Donges Bay Road. That last outer loop was what did me in, mentally. The outer rest stop was at Concordia College at 21.4 miles. So, you figure you have just under 4 miles to go out to hit halfway, then the same amount back to the rest stop (for just about 8 miles). Those 8 miles felt like 20. Nothing but country and it was so empty for the most part; I didn't have a lot of people around me and all I could think about was how much my knees and crotch were hurting! If I'd had to spend one more mile in Mequon I was going to go postal on someone.

 

It was beautiful on the way out passing the "stately" homes on Lake Michigan (fucking HUGE houses), but I couldn't care less on the way back.  The inner rest stop was about 12 miles out and I kept trying to tell myself it would go quick, but it didn't. I was dragging so bad. Somewhere in Whitefish Bay at an intersection, a volunteer was cheering us on and saying we were almost there. She practically made me cry. When we finally got back onto the lakefront in Milwaukee by UWM, I was in despair of seeing the Summerfest grounds.

 

There wasn't even a "finish line" area when you got to the end. It was so LAME! I felt gypped! Just some people with an orange flag saying "thanks for participating!" I got off my bike and walked it to the car. I wasn't spending another second on that damn seat. It felt so good to take a long shower afterwards. I was all dirty and gritty and disgusting.

 

I must find better bike shorts or something with better padding.

Eye Candy

I am over my mango lassi crush (no doubt largely due
to the fact that his going to work while coughing up
his lungs resulted in my sinusitis).

Next crush: Ioan Gruffudd.

MMmmmmmMMMM. He is more Wesley Wyndham-Price than
Wesley Wyndham-Price.

I watched the popcorniest of comic flicks - Fantastic
Four - for him. And then I went through the special
features just to hear him talk.

I MISS Welsh accents. People with Welsh accents always
seem to sound like they're singing while they're
talking. Lovely.

Things that annoy me

I fucking HATE (HATE HATE HATEx infinity) when people
(especially guys, they seem to be prone to doing this)
SNORT IN when they have colds. That fucking gross "I'm
sucking snot and mucus back up into my nasal passages
and consequently, my throat as post-nasal drop" sound.
*shudders* There's this idiot fucking guy behind me
doing that. GET A FUCKING KLEENEX!

Everyone heard about that guy who has XDR TB and who
FLEW trans-Atlantic even after he found out? He was
"scared for his life"? Well, YEAH DUMBASS, even if you
didn't know you had the XDR version of tuberculosis,
what the FUCK were you thinking getting on an airline
putting thousands of people at risk?! What a fucking
asshole. For a lawyer (they've ID'd the guy), he sure
is a goddamn idiot. Seriously, if I were sitting next
to him, I'd sue his ass for all the doctor's charges
I'd be incurring as a result of having to be regularly
tested for TB...

Little fucker!

Reason eleventy-thousand why I dislike dogs!:

They BITE! For no damn reason!

The neighbors have two little muppet (Shih Tzu?) dogs.
The one they've had the longest is Gizmo and he's just
MEAN. He's got a serious jones for me and I don't know
why. He barks all the damn time at everything. Very
territorial, and now I know, very aggressive. The
other little (new) one is Coco and he's a doll, but
I'm worried he may follow the other's lead.

So, I was outside in the front walkway trimming the
bushes. Neighbor dude is taking the dogs out for a
walk. Gizmo seems to have been getting better at least
about not barking so much in regards to me. Dude and I
exchange the usual pleasantries as he starts walking
by. Coco stopped to sniff at some of the branches I'd
trimmed; I turned to look at him - not abruptly, just
normally. Gizmo, the little shit, was already passed
me but lunged back and fucking nipped me in the calf!
It was so quick and I hardly saw him do it. I wasn't
even sure if he'd clawed me first or if it was his
teeth. Well, it was his teeth. Little fucker. The
neighbor was horrified and scared shitless.

Weird little bite. Bled, but not too much. It's more
like he caused subcutaneous bleeding instead of
outright bleeding. It looks like a bruise. Dogs shots
are up to date - I trust that, but damn. What the fuck
have I ever done to the little beast!

Seriously, if that had been a larger breed dog, I
would have reported it. It's one thing to get nipped
by a little ankle-biter-sized mutt; it's quite another
to get bitten by something that could go for your
throat next. I suppose if the little shit ever does it
again, I'll just punt him into the street (I seriously
could, he's that little).

Goddamn fucking dogs. Nasty brutes.

"Impressive"

Home still from work today. Honestly, I'm getting
bored out of my mind and would rather be at work.

I managed to get in to a doctor yesterday. I went to a
new one (the last regular care doctor was a complete
incompetent bitch). I went to the office at 8am in
hopes they had walk-in hours. No luck. As a new
patient, they were able to find me an open appointment
at 2:30pm. That pretty much killed any misguided ideas
I had of going to class last night. Went back home and
puttered around before taking a nap.

The littlest thing - watering the patio garden pots
for instance - was just exhausting.

Got up and went back to the doctor's for the 2:30. Sat
and waited for half an hour until I got taken in. I
HATE THAT. Why do doctors have you come in at a
certain time when they damn well know they're going to
make you sit for at least 15 minutes or more?! It
pisses me off.

I was coughing when the doctor finally walked in to my
room. He was like "Oh, I can hear that
already...impressive..." Great. So prescribe some
drugs and get me out of here!

Have azythromyocin - same stuff I got when I had my
bronchitis earlier this year. And something else to
quiet the cough (non-narcotic), although I really
don't think whatever-it-is is helping. Still coughing
quite loudly and phlegm-ily. I just hope the
antibiotic does its job and kicks in soon. Had
yesterday's loading dose and today's. I have had
enough of farting about listlessly at home. Although I
have to say, reading about six books since Saturday
has got to be something of a feat. Horatio Hornblower
and Cadfael books up the wazoo.

At least my upper ribs aren't tickling me like they
were the past two days. God, I hate that feeling. I
wanted to claw out my chest and ribs to get rid of
that feeling!

I don't fucking believe it!

I just got my score results from that horrible history content exam I took in late April. I passed. Seriously, people, this was the worst test and it made the case for how poorly designed most standardized tests are. Children's educational lives should NOT be decided on the basis of crap standardized tests that measure NOTHING accurately.

This so called history test had shitloads of economics and PSYCHOLOGY on it. I flung my hands up in despair more than once while taking the damn thing.

But I PASSED. Unbelieveable. I feel like celebrating and going out to buy historical books at Borders or B&N.

In other news:

Yes, Ticks, that should have been "bed", not bad.

And, I am sick. *cough* I hate being sick anytime, but more so in summer when you'd rather be outside. I just came down with something Thursday evening. I just started coughing out of nowhere at the Target store. I almost panicked. It was that gasping, dry throat cough - the kind I'd had a few months ago where I literally could not lie down at night without immediately coughing (and coughing so hard that my tongue would SWELL). I thought I'd had whooping cough. Jesus, that's the LAST thing I want to have a reoccurence of. Came home early from work yesterday, ate a little something, and then went to bed. I slept somewhat, but woke up around 9pm. I felt worse. Headachey and now my joints were hurting. I could barely totter out of bed. Had an orange (What is it about oranges that taste SO GOOD when you're sick? It really perked me up.), took some advil and tried to go back to sleep. Didn't really manage to do so until I put my eye pillow on my face. Amazing, but the pressure of the lavender in it over my face relieved my headache.

I feel slightly more human today, but still coughing.

Movies: Pan's Labyrinth

Not the film you want to watch right before bed.

 

OMG. I was sobbing at the end of it.

In the "Oh, no they di'n't!" category:

Wachowski Bros making live action film of Speed Racer. WTF?!

 

I mean...seriously. God, that's going to SUCK. It cold only succeed by admitting to its own campiness.

 

Christina Ricci as Trixie? Matthew Fox as Racer X? Oh LORD.

 

Anyone in Chicago-land remember the oversexed remix of the SpeedRacer theme that B96 put out back in the 90s?

Brit stuff

I went to Borders last night and shopped with my gift card from la madre. What to buy! What to buy! I browsed for two hours and one thing I ended up getting was the Series 3 Inspector Lynley BBC mysteries.

 

Woo! Old school opening credits with the drawn goth characters. Good stuff. I might have caught the show on accident a couple times, but never watched it intentionally. I like it, although the first episode of this series was a bit heavy handed with the men vs female in the police force. I wanted to smack the one sergeant guy upside the head (not Lynley). And then the "she's my cousin" - "SECOND cousin" bit - - ewwwwwy.

Ratatouille (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ratatouille (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This looks hysterical. I saw a commercial for it and it made me laugh. Granted, I detest rats (especially in a kitchen!), but it still looks so damn cute.

So much for daydreams!

Mango Lassi has a ring on the left hand.

 

D'oh!

O may my heart's truth Still be sung On this high hill in a year's turning

Happy Birthday to me. *sigh* Another decade...

It may be May and not October, but the sentiment is
the same. From Dylan Thomas:

It was my thirtieth year to heaven
Woke to my hearing from harbour and neighbour
wood
And the mussel pooled and the heron
Priested shore
The morning beckon
With water praying and call of seagull and rook
And the knock of sailing boats on the webbed wall
Myself to set foot
That second
In the still sleeping town and set forth.

My birthday began with the water-
Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my
name
Above the farms and the white horses
And I rose
In a rainy autumn
And walked abroad in shower of all my days
High tide and the heron dived when I took the
road
Over the border
And the gates
Of the town closed as the town awoke.

A springful of larks in a rolling
Cloud and the roadside bushes brimming with
whistling
Blackbirds and the sun of October
Summery
On the hill's shoulder,
Here were fond climates and sweet singers
suddenly
Come in the morning where I wandered and listened
To the rain wringing
Wind blow cold
In the wood faraway under me.

Pale rain over the dwindling harbour
And over the sea wet church the size of a snail
With its horns through mist and the castle
Brown as owls
But all the gardens
Of spring and summer were blooming in the tall
tales
Beyond the border and under the lark full cloud.
There could I marvel
My birthday
Away but the weather turned around.

It turned away from the blithe country
And down the other air and the blue altered sky
Streamed again a wonder of summer
With apples
Pears and red currants
And I saw in the turning so clearly a child's
Forgotten mornings when he walked with his mother
Through the parables
Of sunlight
And the legends of the green chapels

And the twice told fields of infancy
That his tears burned my cheeks and his heart
moved in mine.
These were the woods the river and the sea
Where a boy
In the listening
Summertime of the dead whispered the truth of his
joy
To the trees and the stones and the fish in the
tide.
And the mystery
Sang alive
Still in the water and singing birds.

And there could I marvel my birthday
Away but the weather turned around. And the true
Joy of the long dead child sang burning
In the sun.
It was my thirtieth
Year to heaven stood there then in the summer
noon
Though the town below lay leaved with October
blood.
O may my heart's truth
Still be sung
On this high hill in a year's turning.

Found my outfit for going out!

So my sexy bday outfit bitches. I just got this tonight at the mall for Saturday's festivities. I feel very Espana-esque in this: perfect for a night of drinking sangria and eating tapas at Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba! in Chicago. I just gotta get that skirt hemmed in. It's too wide at the sides, so it pooches out in the front. I tried to get it hemmed at the mall's tailoring place, but no can do. They're stuffed with stupid prom dresses, damnit! I'm hoping a tailor at a cleaner's by me can do it - the high school right by me already had prom, so hopefully that won't be an issue.

I'm probably going to pay out the nose for a same-day job, but this skirt is a MUST.





And my espadrilles with red ribbons are going to kick so much ass.

I want five men to ask me out for random meaningless one night flings so I can turn down every single one of them. Why? Because I can!

Mr. Lassi

The hormones are a little out of control today. I had to go run outside and wander around for a little bit because I was getting squirrelly.

 

Let us contrast two situations:

 

A few weeks ago, the comic guy asking me out. An all-around "ugh" experience. I have to admit that one of the first things I'll think about is "do I picture myself with this person in the carnal sense?" The answer was a resounding HELL NO there. And kind of made me gag and want to go into convulsions as well.

 

Mr. Lassi. Sadly, no, he has not asked me out. (I do the 12 year old tactic of steering clear and lusting over my object from afar.) But same question as above? It's like TECHNICOLOR. I get this evil little smirk on my face and then I have to shake my head and refocus on my word processing jobs.

 

Meeeeeow. He's gotta be near 6'5" tall (which is unusual - I've never seen a guy of his background THAT tall and who looks like they could be a linebacker). Plenty to hold onto there *drools, then smacks self on the head*. FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS! Pretty words on Microsoft Word! And oh my god, he's got this really deep voice and don't ask me what that makes me think about. I've got tinglies just typing it.

 

Dear God. For my 30th birthday, could I PLEASE GET LAID by a decent guy?!

 

Yeah. Not likely.

 

MMmmmm

There is a member of the opposite sex at work who is, I like to say, a tall drink of mango lassi. Draw what information you can from that description.

 

He is just too damn cute.

Grades

Well, I got As in both my spring classes (really, I don't deserve it on the history because I KNOW my last paper was shit). But them's the breaks.

 

Still don't have the History Content Exam results from ICTS yet. *grimaces* That's the 25th.

 

Trying to late register for Summer (which pisses me off - I was dropped and shouldn't have been!) and the phone lines are busy. WHAT FUCKING SCHOOL STILL USES TOUCHTONE REG? That's right! MY idiot school!

Evening

I went to yoga and felt quite rejuvenated. And also
sweaty. Arms dripping, can't hold an arm balance pose
because of the sweat sweaty.

Then came home and fired up the grill. I made an very
tasty steak, thank you very much, with an even tastier
margarita.

I am feeling very comfortable, how 'bout YOU?!

Now, off to take a cool shower because it's warm but
not too warm to warrant turning on the damn AC.

[Blank]-O-Matic 3000, Things That Should Be Invented

I am enjoying a tomato mozzarella salad from Panera for lunch. I love me that combination of tomato/mozza/basil.

 

In my half clandestine gardening experiment, I have planted both basil and tomatoes. I wish I could plant mozzarella. But unfortunately, planting little balls of mozzarella does not result in great big mozzarella plants.

 

In other things I wish existed (chiefly for last week): a detachable uterus. Kind of like the "Detachable Penis" that King Missile sang about back in the 90s. Lorena Bobbit did try to do the whole detachable penis thing, but as we all know, that had some issues.

 

My Detachable Uterus would feature:

 

A convenient front opening door with hidden zipper for easy removal and reinsertion.

Color coded connections for easy re-connection back to Fallopian Tubes and Cervix.

 

Great for when:

• you don't want to get pregnant,
• want to be unemotional (wow! now females can easily engage in "this is just no strings attached sex" and engage in hostile corporate take-overs just like men!), and...
• especially for those weeks when you have cramps so bad all you want to do is drink whiskey, eat expensive chocolates, and bitch-slap every man you see.

 

Using the Detachable Uterus-O-Matic 3000 would thus have side benefits of preventing alcoholism, obesity and random (though surely deserved 99% of the time) violence towards men. Special cleaning solution and washing pouf included if you BUY NOW for only THREE EASY INSTALLMENTS of 49.99!

 

Seriously, if I could have removed my uterus for 3 days last week, it would have been great. Fucking cramps. Oh, and a Flow-Regulator-O-Matic 3000 wouldn't hurt either. It's like either the faucet is GUSHING or driiiiiiiip....driiiiiiiiip....driiiiiiiip. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND, GIRL-PARTS!

 

In other news: I meant to make one more comment about the History Boys movie in a previous post. To clarify: yes, I really do like the movie (excellent); I was just like "holee shit!" during parts of it. The thing that absolutely fucking cracked me up at the end? The music that played during the credits. I heard the first few words being sung and was like "it's fucking Rufus Wainwright!" Oh Lord. I laughed. How apropos!

On the road to jail time :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

On the road to jail time :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

Dude. People ARE stupid. Jaaaaay-sus.

History Boys

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST.

Watching the DVD of History Boys. With the original
stage cast.

*agog*

So many cute boys, but...

Democrats get in Bush's face :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: World

Democrats get in Bush's face :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: World

OH HELL NO. Bean went WITH Bush? *outraged* That is MY congresswoman. But she will quickly revert to WAS in the next election if this continues. I am going to email her!

Queen concludes visit with toast, joke - Yahoo! News

Oh, Queenie, WHY did you have dinner with that dressed up ape? Shouldn't Tony's disastrous connection with him have taught you anything?


Queen concludes visit with toast, joke - Yahoo! News

Yes, some 225ish years later, we have our own Mad, Mad, Mad King George.

How Does My Garden Grow

Well, I took stock of what all I have planted. And just realized I am not doing a good watering thing with the habenero! Damn, at least it's just been the first few days and is correctable.

Here we go. Now I'm wondering: the days mentioned, is that from seed? It must be. In which case, it's not as long since I bought seedlings and transplanted them.

In the front area:
Hardy Azaleas (pink ones called "Mother's Day" from HD) (Perennial, meaning I also have it in the ground, not in a pot/plantar)
Bronze Dutch Clover (P)
Sweet Woodruff (aka Herb of Humility) (P)
Strawberries (4) - Mix of everbearing and seasonal (P)
Lavendar (P)
Poppies (P)
Salvia - Salsa Mix colors (P)
New Guinea Impatiens (P)

Back patio and slightly incognito areas:
Meadow Sage (P)
Fuschia
Combo Annuals - Geraniums and something else
Lavendar (P)
Rosemary (P)
Geranium (P)
Gerbera Daisy (P)
Carnations - King of the Blacks (P)
Emerald n Gold Euonymus (Shrubs, in ground)
Citronella (P)
Caspian Pink Tomatoes
Purple Sage
Greek Oregano
Basil (P)
Parsley
Cucumber - May 7th, 60 Days
Yellow Pear Heirloom Tomatoes - May 7th, 78 Days, hmmm also has some worrying reviews
Cilantro
Cherokee Purple Tomatoes - May 5th, 80 days
Jalapeno - May 5th, 65-75 days
Marion Tomatoes - May 7th, 70-75 days
Pansies
Vinca Vine (P)
Chives (P, actually they spread to the ground from a pot we had a couple years ago! They've gone native!)
4 o'Clocks, Marvel of Peru (P)
Patio Prize Tomatoes - May 7th, 68 days
Pineapple Sage (P)
Quinault Sthttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifrawberries (P)
Yellow Straight Squash - May 7th, 50 days
Silver Edge Thyme (P)
Parsley (P)
Peppermint
Spanish Yellow Onion - May 7th, 120-130 days (WTF! It takes onions that fucking LONG?)
Mr. Stripey Heirloom Tomatoes - May 7th, 80 days, interesting, parts of plants are POISONOUS? What, did I get the puffer fish of the tomato kingdom? Also worrying: seeing some negative reviews of the plant for being too soft/mushy and prone to cracking.
Tomatillos Physalis philadelphica - May 7th, 70 days
Serrano Chiles - May 7th, 80 days
White Spanish Onion - May 7th, 110 days
Habenero - NOTE TO SELF: only water when DRY!
Cantaloupe - May 7th, 75-85 days (I don't think this one's gonna work)

And, YES, I planted in that little horseshoe shaped enclosure in between us and the neighbor to the north. Keep your fingers crossed that my illicit gardening adventure stays seekrit!

I WANT BIG, JUICY FUCKING TOMATOES!

I wish the mom would get an umbrella for the patio table. (OOOh, or this one.) You can't sit out there in the full glare of the sun with no protection without baking. Kind of makes having a patio table pointless, don't you think?

Education Meme

The Cubs are really friggin pissing me off right about now. Stupid friggin Pirates.

Anyway, on to Gonzo's Education Meme!

-----(-)-> What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
My answer: Well, two of my favorite teachers that I remember are Mrs. Dunbar (K) - I used to call her Mrs. DUMbar, because I didn't know better. She always used to play the piano for us; she taught us all how to sing Frere Jacques (Brother John, Are you Sleeping? in French). I still remember it. Mrs. Hopkins would be another one; I had her twice, I think for second and for fifth grade. She was such a nice woman and I think she introduced us to a lot of good books, including C.S. Lewis' Narnia books.

-----(-)-> What subject did you favor in high school?
My answer: English, all the way. Come on, I want to BE an English teacher!

-----(-)-> Did you attend a university and if so did you attain a degree?
My answer: Yes (squared). I have a double major in English and Western European Civilization (akin to History) for my B.A. degree. I am seven months away from finishing my Masters degree in Teaching, Secondary Education, Language Arts.

-----(-)-> Do you learn best through books, by watching or hands-on?
My answer: I'm pretty good at all three methods, but I like getting my hands dirty, as it were.

-----(-)-> Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?
My answer: Whenever I haven't been in school (and stressing out over stupid shit), I've been bored out of my mind. It's a survival mechanism. I want to be a teacher so I'm always in school! I'm messed up in the head!

----(-)-> What seven people are you tagging to do this?
My answer: My little blog world is slowly growing. I will ask my mum, Lippy, the Wandering Author, Aly, and Tickersoid.

Poor Wittle Paris

You must be shitting me. WHY are people pitying poor little rich girl Paris? There's a fucking petition on the net for her to be pardoned by Schwarzenegger. WHAT-ever.

 

Bitch broke the law. She should shut her trap and serve her damn time. Slutty bimbo stickfigure vapid blonde heiresses are not above the law. If she were anyone normal (i.e., NOT rich and most likely not white), she would have been tossed in jail ages ago and probably for longer. As someone who lost two friends to a drunk driver (which Paris has one offense for - DUI), I don't think this is a laughing matter.

 

For her to whine that she's been treated unfairly is a crock of shit. She has more money for defense that anyone else and has taken up more court time than a normal person.

 

It's called PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY, bitch.

 

I recommend going to the Paris website and leaving a nice long comment here. You have the vapid responses of her "fans" (Jesus, I hope these people don't procreate) and the fairly erudite responses of those persons, such as myself, who are mocking the hell out of everyone else.

 

Go Forth And Mock!!

Green Thumbs Needed!

Anyone a tomato growing expert? What's the secret to getting monstrous numbers of tomatoes per vine a la this little contraption? I mean, I probably won't buy that, but something similar.

Can I do this growing them in a large pot with the support placed in it???

Morning

The crab apple tree in back of our townhouse row.

Another fabulous day in the North Shore

*cough* Not really in regards to "North Shore". The
town the Catholics built is practically the slums
compared to the "real" North Shore, i.e., Lake Forest,
Winnetka, Wilmette, Highland Park, etc., etc., etc.

Interjection: Ha ha, Mags, got your pix message! :)

Let me tell you, peeps, going shopping on Sunday
morning while the Jesusy-people are a'churchin is THE.
BOMB. No lines. No bad parking spaces. No screaming
kids. Oh, the blessed peace and quiet. Of course, you
just have to get up to enjoy it. Usually, I'm sacked
out in bed slightly comatose.

My brother took my mom to church today (What? You
thought *I* was going to do that? My "good
daughterness while the mom is recovering from knee
surgery" does not extend to getting suckered into
going to church with her. No way.) As it was, she
shouldn't have been doing Catholic Calisthenics...she
aggravated her knee doing the whole sit down, stand
up, kneel bullshit. *rolls eyes* She should have just
stayed seated, I'm sure the godman would understand.

Anyway, back to shopping. I went to Garden Fresh and
stocked up on my Fage Greek Yogurt. That's pronounced
"Fah-yeh!" I think I'm going to start calling it
"Fuh-yeh!" (for Fuck Yeah! yogurt). Then....

I went back to Home Depot. Oh evil, evil. I got more
mulch, soil and plants. Holy shit, did I get more
plants. (I had to go back again around 6pm for MORE
mulch though.) I really wanted to buy the Scotch Broom
plant (so pretty!), but I would have had to dig a four
foot hole - NOT happening with my little hand spade
and cultivator! I was outside non-stop from approx
12:30 until 5:30pm gardening. Christ. And then I
showered off the mud and did that other run to HD for
more mulch, came back, and was outside again from 7ish
until 8ish. I hardly ate a thing all day, I was so
focused on getting this shit done. I told my mom that
this was pretty much her mother's day present, a week
early. The back looks fucking awesome, if I do say so
myself. I'll have to take pictures.

On a side note, the neighbor's crabapple tree is in
full blossom. It smelled heavenly and looks like a
cloud of soft snow hovering in the air above the
branches.

So, it's a townhouse, yah? On the north side of our
back patio, there's a bigger area of shrubbery
(totally unkempt by the lackluster association)
between us and one neighbor. Both AC units are tucked
in here as well. Interesting thing: there's quite the
bit of space in the middle of the bushes (they form a
horseshoe bowing away from the ACs and the back
walls). I'm guessing mebbe 4 sq ft? Throw in a few
bags of garden soil (because the soil is SHIT and lots
of clay/rocks when you scratch in with the cultivator
like I did) and it would be the perfect spot for
tomatoes. Totally against association rules I'm
guessing, but they can really kiss my ass right about
now. Shielded from the wind, but still plenty of
sunlight. The neighbor on that side just moved in and
is hardly ever home. I don't think she's been out on
the back patio at all. The only real risk or two: 1)
getting caught by the association nazis 2) if either
of us needs to have AC repairs done this summer. An AC
dude would have to tramp right through that space. I'm
thinking that's a risk I'm willing to take. TOMATO RUN
AT HOME DEPOT TOMORROW! WoOt! I'm going to get more
heirloom varieties because I like the funky lookin'
ones.

When my mom eventually notices the little tomato
plantation to the north and asks me what the hell,
I'll be like "Tomatoes just planted themselves there?
How WEIRD!" With the exception of onions, we totally
have the makings for salsa.

On the outside arch of that same area, I planted a lot
of little things in between whatever type of lillies
that have been there forever. I had to weed the shit
out of that area though, and then make sure to mulch
around my plantings so the weeds can't come back in. I
have six everbearing strawberry plants (Mmm! I hope
they put out little runners. Strawberries typically do,
so I hope to have more plants next year.) About four
yellow neck squash, the same number of cucumbers (why
squash and cukes, two things I hardly ever eat?!), two
jalapenos (one other was planted in a pot), some thyme
(I think, something that will provide ground cover as
well), some utterly fantastic smelling pineapple sage
(I have no idea what to use it for crush it in ice tea! or use in salads and desserts, but it smells so
sweet!), more basil (from seed this time), parsley,
and four o'clocks (Marvel of Peru) from seed. I love four o'clocks. We
used to have them at the old house. Those things seed
like crazy and spread - make good cover. I planted
them right up against the back wall. It should cover
that unsightly area well if they bloom well.

Oh god, I think my face is hot. It was cloudy most of
the day, but I bet the UV rays were still bad. Shit. I
had a hat on the whole time though...I would have
thought it would have covered some of my face!

This is so long-winded now. I'm going to have to make
a list of what all is out there, take pictures, and
then re-post.

P.S. TWA, I was futzing about your journal after reading your catnip comment (thanks). I've got to make a note to check out The Literate Kitten. God, how does she read so much? I mean, I thought I read a lot, but DAMN. (Of course, most of my reading lately has been for graduate school and not a lot of pleasure reading. *le sigh*)

Ole! Cinco Cinco!

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah, bitches! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
*raises margarita glass*

I slept in late today. I was just too damn exhausted
to get up and do the 7:45 am yoga class. I stuck
around the house for a bit. Today was the first day my
mom could bathe after her surgery. I waited until she
was done to get out of the house just in case she
needed me.

After that, picked up (yet another) pair of biking
sunglasses that I won from last week's M&M Cyclery
Ladies' Night Raffle. Last year, I won the exact same
glasses. I told them that, and I got to switch them
out for a pair that had greenish frames at least. Good
glasses, though.

Went to work for a couple hours (had some time to make
up from oversleeping this week - oops!) and then I
went to Jamaica Gardens North. My mom and I like to
have potted herbs in the summer. Oh god, I go to that
place and it's just...bad. I'm just lucky, I suppose,
that living in a townhouse means we have very limited
space to put this stuff. I got rosemary (a favorite of
mine), oregano, basil (another favorite, especially
for making de-li-cious caprese salad), thyme, lavender
(I tried planting some from seed out front, but it
doesn't appear to be working). I also got a couple
heirloom tomato plants (the first I tried to plant I
think I might have hurt - - oops, we'll see), a
habenero plant, a couple jalapenos, and squash and
something else. Fuck I can't remember what all the
hell I bought. I don't know where the hell I'm going
to stick the peppers and squash! Got one gerbera daisy
and an impatiens. Three bags of potting soil (need
MORE).

Then I made the mistake of trucking off to Home Depot.
Holy fucking Christ, they had a ton of shit. I bought
another lavender plant, catnip (whee! for the
kitties!), two lovely pink plants whose name I cannot
remember but it's something so obvious and if I
weren't drunk off my margarita I could remember... two
bags of mulch (need another) and a couple ground cover
plants. Oh, and even a couple citronella plants! Very
cool. I have those potted out on the back patio. Fuck
off mosquitoes! Ha ha.

Once I got home, I spent a couple hours planting it
all. Our front walkway area looks SO much nicer with
the mulch. Fucking townhouse association is completely
slacking. The bushes haven't been trimmed in AGES and
no mulch in god knows how long. What the fuck do we
pay dues for?! Most of the herbs are planted in pots
on the back patio. I still have a couple more to go.
My back was killing me, but post-margarita we seem to
be doing pretty damn well.

So early Mom's Day gift for my mom with all the
plants.

After I finished doing the whole garden thing, I was
starved. I hadn't really eaten since the morning. I
called and placed a to-go order from On the Border for
steak fajitas. Ole! Tasty! I scarfed those down once I
got back home, along with mi muy bueno margarita.

Aaaaaah! Good day. Now, if it would only be sunny
tomorrow. I want to go on a bike ride down to the
lake.

cultivating blogships

Thanks to Gonzo, I've discovered a couple interesting blogs. (Well, there are more, but I need to start out small!) I am making an effort to regularly visit and make comments. I've kinda been living in a blog-hole over here.

They shot Old Yeller

Okay, NOW I understand why people are bitchy when they turn down dates half the time. Because if you try to be nice and let 'em down easy, they think if they ask you a couple more times that you'll change your mind.

The answer was NO, is NO, and evermore shall be NO.

GOD FUCKING DAMN I am ANNOYED.

To recap: this guy that works at the comic shop I go to asked me out on Saturday. Because it was so unexpected and I was so flustered, I wound up giving him my number. BAD. BAD. BAD IDEA. Did I mention...bad idea? I have known this guy in only the vaguest sense for a few years and have usually found him annoying. On more than one occasion, I have been downright rude to him because he was just pissing me the hell off. Yap, yap fucking yap.

On Saturday, when I was ambushed, I had said that this week was bad to call me because it is finals week. So what did the dumbass do? Call me on Sunday. When I'm trying to write my fucking papers. That didn't make me feel any better towards him. The whole time I was on the phone with him on Sunday, I kept cringing and thinking over and over "oh my god, I can NOT go on a date with this guy I will fucking DIE." His voice and the way he talks are like nails on a chalkboard to me. He sounds so whiney. AND he thought I was like 24 years old? Excuse me? He's about 1 1/2 years older than me. His last girlfriend was a lot younger, too. I have a healthy skepticism/distrust of men who date girls considerably younger than themselves. I have seen too many bad things. I mean, yes, we women are generally far more mature than guys anyway, but why? Are you looking to be a Svengali and get this pretty young thing to do shit with you that, a few years from now, she'll go WTF was I thinking? He's in his 30s and his main source of employment is clerking at a comic store. And he has no ambition to do anything else (and, yes, he pretty much told me that on the phone). That is so not going to work for me. Working in a comic shop is not a bad thing. But for me? I need a guy with a little more ambition than that. What would be doing? Going out on dates to fucking Taco Bell? I don't fucking think so.

I told him, between school and work, that I did not have time to date. I don't have time to date or to deal with the ancillary bullshit that dating brings with it. AND I certainly don't have time for someone that annoys the shit out of me. Actually, I didn't say the last two sentences, but you get my drift.

He was like "well, if you want to hang out sometime as a break from studying or something..."

I should have nipped it in the bud right there, but goddamn it I didn't. I thought I had gotten my point across well enough with the "I DON'T HAVE TIME."

Fast forward to today. After spending all day in the hospital, I finally went to the comic shop to pick up my stuff (new Buffy out today - excellent, although my eyes got scorched in a couple parts). He wasn't there - thank Christ. Oh, but Charwars was. And Charwars tells me that D (the guy) said to tell me to please call him. WTF? Are we in seventh grade? And WTF again because you don't do that to me. You don't even know me well enough to do that. There was even this bit in there about "not that he wants to come off as desperate, but give him a call." *rolls eyes* Okay, LESSON THE FIRST, if you have to preface yourself with "not that I want to appear desperate", DUDE, you ARE desperate.

That just pissed me off. I didn't even say anything in reply. I'm sure Charwars could tell I was angry.

After that, I went to the gym and spun around on the stationary bike like crazy for forty minutes and was STILL pissed off. I felt sick to my stomach. I had to shut off my cell phone because the battery was down. Thank god.

Cue to when I get home. I plug my phone in to the charger and turn it on. I have a voicemail. I thought maybe it was my friend Jesica because she was supposed to call me back. NOOOOPE. It's D. JESUS FRAKKIN CHRIST. He's on my voicemail. After telling him Saturday this was a bad week for me, he fucking calls once, has his coworker bug me AND FUCKING CALLS ME AGAIN. I wanted to scream. He wanted to take me out to see Spider Man 3. I deleted the voicemail before it was even done. Again, nails on a damn chalkboard. Can't stand his voice.

I found his number in my recent calls list and hit send. After "Hi", I was like "So, I ran into C and he told me that you wanted me to call AND I got your voicemail." Insert some random shit from him blah blah... I launched into "I told you that I didn't have time to date. I don't want to date right now. AND I do not want to date YOU okay?"

He was like "Oh...okaaaaay" in his whiney voice. I had to repeat myself once more just to be sure he got it. Because I think he's living in a bubble similar to the one George Bush is about Iraq. He said "well, just to hang out, you know?" God, I was so exasperated. I told him, "It's about managing expectations. I know what you want - you want to date. I DON'T. Those two are never going to meet in the middle." He's the type of guy that you have to shut down, because that kind will think they have some kind of claim on you if you go out with them once and they think they'll wear you down over time. I don't want to date you and I don't fucking want to hang out with you. (Didn't say that sentence, but god did I want to.)

CLUELESS. Utterly clueless. I gave one more "OK?" and he was like "oh, okaaaaaay, well give me a call sometime..."

*grabs face with hands* GOD, WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU TO GET THAT I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER GET A CALL FROM ME? (Didn't say that either, but that's what I was thinking.) At that point, I just hung up on him.

If he even tries to call me again, I am going to just...I don't know. I don't know what I'll do, but it sure as hell won't be pretty. Some dumbass footballer tried to stalk me in college and believe you me, he learned to watch his step around me. Him and his whole damn house knew I was not to be fucked with. I haven't had to be that bitchy in years, but I'll do it in a heartbeat if I think I'm going to have trouble.


What is it with guys? Jesica just went on a date with a guy that she met at a bar. She won't be doing that again. During their conversation, the guy was like "Yeah, my sister and friends think I'm an asshole." Great way to sell yourself, numbnuts.

God damn. I'm just so aggravated. This is why I don't date. Too much fucking bullshit. Give me a pair of batteries and high-grade plastic any day over this trumped up asshattery.

I'm going to make myself a stiff margarita.

EDIT: Oh yessss. I love margaritas. I made myself a GOOD one. I feel good. I don't even feel remotely annoyed anymore. Sweet Cuervo waters of Lethe.

Hospitals

So, I spent all of today in the hospital. My mom went
in for knee surgery. She had a cyst removed. It went
well, but god damn is the amount of time in there a
bore.

They make you get in there at 10:30 am, but then her
surgery wasn't even until almost 2pm! So you just sit.
And wait. And sit and wait some more.

Was able to see her in recovery at 4pm and we left
about 4:30pm.

I just hope she'll be able to walk better now. She was
having a tough time.

The doctor? Dr. Collins? Yeah, he was not a bad
looking dude. He was shorter than me, but he looked
like an older Christian Bale. Seriously. The exact
same face. I was like "helloooo, doctor".

Update on Pretty Bird Woman House (Women's Shelter in Need)

Pretty Bird Woman House is still receiving funds, but could definitely use MORE. Have hit the halfway mark of the goal. To recap, Pretty Bird Woman House is a domestic violence shelter on a Sioux Reservation in South Dakota. It serves a horribly underfunded area and is in need of assistance or it WILL CLOSE.

To read more about the start of this, go to diary at Daily Kos.

If you can't donate now, what about volunteering your time? Can you do grant writing? Offer website services for the shelter? Donations are great, but they need help becoming more self-sufficient as well. Or even - - post a link to these diaries and put a Chip In counter on your blog and spread the word. You can make your own Chip In counter by clicking on the one in this blog.

And guess what - funds have already helped save one woman. Without the donations, the shelter would not have been able to help this newest person: I just got off the phone with Georgia Little Shield, Director and Advocate at the Pretty Bird Woman House. Over the weekend, the shelter received a call from a woman who needed to be evacuated. If this had happened on Thursday, the shelter would not have been able to do much more than take the call. But because of your efforts, Georgia was able to tell this woman: "Don't worry about the money--we have money coming. Just get out and come in."

You did this. You made this possible.

Hello, Ireland

Someone from Drumcondra Ireland visited my blog today!

I loves me some Ireland.

So, if you come back again, say hi.

I am proceeding to get shitfaced on margaritas of my own making. I really need to get a measure for the alcohol because I obviously did not know what I was doing. Wooooooboy.

I was also v. v. bad today and pissed in the face of the universe (but I really didn't mean to and apologize profusely dear universe). I turned down the guy asking me out. (Sully, he called me already today. I was surprised to hear from him so soon.) Honestly, right now between work, school and my mom's impending surgery, I just don't have the time. That, and I just do not feel that we are simpatico. He seems like a nice enough guy and all, but it's just not there, y'know? I don't want to lead him and I suck shit at casual dating.

Best to just politely bow out this dance.

I should really finish up this damn English paper. I think the margarita has inspired me.

P.S. Look at what my horoscope said for today. What a fucking crock of shit:

The Moon is in socially adept Libra, but we are driven to step beyond the rules of etiquette today, as erratic Uranus still feels the heat from last night's conjunction with feisty Mars. Disruptive events are problematic, especially if we fear change. On the other hand, spontaneity is exciting when we are up for something new. But impatience turns into frustration as hot Mars quincunxes cold Saturn later in the evening leaving us somewhat unsatisfied.

I think we have firmly established that I am not socially adept lately.

i'm socially inept

more like social retard.

oh holy friggin mary. I just got asked out on a date. actually, the phraseology was "would you like to hang out some time?" but same diff.

my face is SO fucking red right now and I am just . . . *spazzzzzing*

OMFG.

I'm friggin 29 years old and I have all the social grace of a fucking 12 year old in her first training bra.

*thumps head down on table and proceeds to laugh hysterically*

Oh jesus. I DID NOT HAVE THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING CLUE THIS PERSON LIKED ME. Holy shit. I can't even really put it in here because WTF IF HE KNOWS MY BLOG? WHICH IS A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY.


In which case, I should really put on some semblance of cool. Yah.


That's me. Ms Cool as a Fucking Cucumber.

Pretty Bird Woman House (Shelter)

Daily Kos: Please Help Save Pretty Bird Woman House

I saw the above on Daily Kos. Here's hoping for more!

The short: Amnesty International (and NPR radio) highlighted some truly appalling domestic violence situations in American Reservations. Pretty Bird Woman House is in the Sioux South Dakota reservation and serves a vast desolate area. These women are horribly underserved and this shelter literally provides them their only resource for help(read the backlinked information to get the full story on how bad the situation is).

Astoundingly: most of the attacks on women are from OUTSIDERS (non-Sioux). These outsiders figure they can rape with impunity because the area is so underserved (and for the most part, that has been the case).

The shelter is in desperate need of funds to stay open. If you can chip in, go to the Donation page. They've raised nearly $5K in one day!

Pass it on...

Oh, my beloved SIfl and Olly! CRESCENT FRESH AND CHESTER!

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Go to the Carnival!

Visit the Gonzo Carnival! Many fun entries, many interesting folk!

Pollack creations

I was tagged by Kilroy to do this, so here is a Pollack creation from moi that I have titled "Boquet" (or should it be "Bouquet"?) . If I've tagged you, you need to go and create one yourself.

The rules are here at Kilroy's.

Create your own Pollack masterpiece.
Good stress relief from work.

 

 

I hope I know five others on blogger to do this! Lippy! Tickersoid ??

 

Will add more after work!

P&P

Pride and Prejudice has got to be the Jane Austen book with the most number of "sequels" or additions written to it by modern authors. Not all of them, obviously, are good. Shamefully, I do own a couple bad ones, but I didn't know they were bad when I bought them.

HOWEVER, a really excellent trilogy dealing with (Mister) Darcy (!) (those of you who have seen the A&E production, say it with the correct tone of voice!) was written by Pamela Aidan. She fleshes out a few characters (such as Anne DeBourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Georgiana Darcy), and adds in new ones (Darcy's man Fletcher is just hysterical and Lord Dyved Brougham is awesome).

I swear to god, though, if Colonel Fitzwilliam were a real man, I'd be all over him. MMMMMMMMMMM, good.

By the by, I absolutely REFUSE to watch that ridiculous remake of P&P starring Kiera Knightley. I'm sorry...but, NO. That is not P&P any more than Demi Moore's tarting up of the great Scarlet Letter was based on an actual book.

Tell me if it's crap

I submitted the following for a scholarship at
Fastweb.

What is the future of the printed book?

Without a doubt, our world has gone increasingly
hi-tech and virtual. Music and even books are
available for download. What will happen to the poor
printed page? While preparing to write my entry, I
looked at my crammed bookshelf. Pick one item? I could
pick a dozen! My eyes did light on my battered copy of
Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. This book has followed
me through high school and undergraduate studies. I
must have been required to read it for at least four
different classes, but I still don't tire of it. It is
still one of my favorite books to pick up and read on
a lazy day.

That's just it: pick up and read. And sniff and smell.
I think the printed book is safe because, deep inside,
as humans, we love the tangible. You can't really curl
up with a computer; besides, what happens if the power
goes out? A real book is something to be on intimate
terms with: the cradling of the volume in your hands,
the scent of old yellowed pages, the sight of
dog-eared pages leading to your favorite passages, the
soft rasp as a page is turned. Even the occasional
stain from a coffee cup placed too closely to the book
is something to be remembered. A digital text,
obviously, lacks these humble yet endearing marks of
affection.

I couldn't stand to read my favorite Jane Eyre online.
It would lack all the intimacy and sensory input that
the actual physical book has. Books are treasures not
just for what they contain, but also for the feelings
they evoke in all our senses. I've visted ancient
European academic libraries and just been awash with
the sights, smells and hushed silence of a hall filled
with thousands of beloved dusty volumes. The written
and printed word delights our human senses. Whether
reading for pleasure or knowledge, the printed book is
tangible evidence of our thoughts, dreams and ideas –
something an e-text can never replace.

earthy

So either today or yesterday was earth day. Yay for earth! Yay for weather that is FINALLY warm. We were in the 70s both days this weekend.

Yesterday my mom and I went to Bob Chinn's Crab House in Wheeling, IL, for dinner. Mmmm!

My mom's knee is still screwed up and we don't know why. She had to lean on me to get into the restaurant (it wasn't worth bringing in the crutch to that restaurant because it's way too crowded). I just wish whatever is causing the problem would go away. Tomorrow, I have to take her to the doctor for a follow-up.

Today, I went for my first long outdoor-bike ride of the season. Cycling all those miles in the gym must have paid off. My butt (and other delicate regions), doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would have. I know I did over 20 miles. Went almost to Deerfield. Turning around and going back sucks. You're tired, thirsty (even though you keep drinking water like crazy), dirty and oh my god HOW MANY MILES is it back home?

I think I got burned, too, on my legs. My legs felt uncomfortably warm and tingly in my jeans this evening.

No matter! Must continue! Have to be able to bike that 50 mile Miller Lite Ride for the Arts in Milwaukee this June!

I totally fucked around this weekend. Didn't write two papers that I should have. Didn't apply for scholarships that I really should have. Lord.

And yes, Gonzo, I will try to whip up a resume, but it probably won't be until the semester ends in a couple weeks. Thank you so much for the interest!

In other news:

I've noticed this past week (after Monday), that my yoga instructor's (Wendy) messages/meditations during class seemed to be awfully focused on peace and understanding others. I don't think it's a stretch to think that this might be in regards to what happened at Virginia Tech. As those students go back to school tomorrow, I know I'll be thinking of them and wishing them well from afar.

I hope I can take some of Wendy's words and put them into practice by being kinder to others. I know I can bitch with the best(worst) of them, but I need to watch that.

Stuff like this does make me wonder what I could possibly face as a teacher. I hope I never have to experience something like this. I hope I have the compassion/strength/whatever to help all my students, especially those who need it most.

May we all.

Comments

Uh, I did just reject a comment but not because of the content. I wish there had been a way for me to leave a remark.

I don't particularly want "Anonymous" comments - please put your initials, a handle or something.

You are entitled to your Reggie Bush comments. (Crawfish? Please.)

Stop perpetuating violence

I'm sorry, but I don't see how recent events couldn't be more of a call for stronger gun laws in this country. The argument that "well, if we all had guns, we'd be safer" doesn't wash. Violence begets violence. Having a gun is an invitation to danger. I wouldn't want a gun; I know how cranky I can get! All it takes is one irrational moment - or a crazed person who has slipped through the cracks - and mayhem can erupt.

Why are military assault style weapons on the streets? Why are armor piercing rounds? Why are high volume ammo rounds allowed? Why not stronger checks? Why are we viewed with such derision by the rest of the world for our gun laws?

The NRA buys off elected officials, that's why. Why should the rest of us be held hostage? For the NRA and others in their pay to say "we shouldn't make the recent tragedy a political issue" is both sophistical and false. They have already long since made it a political issue with their "pay to play" policies.

Stop the NRA has a quick form you can fill out which will automatically send an email to your elected officials demanding better gun laws.

Join the Brady Campaign.

SICK.

Gunman in massacre contacted NBC News - Massacre at Virginia Tech - MSNBC.com

That SHIT. Absolute shit. Seriously, I hope he is burning in hell. He spent TWO HOURS in between events recording shit and sending it to the media?!?!

Hold Tight

: "Clearly anxious parents can be seen walking hand in hand with their children, probably the first time in ages that the kids have been willing to be seen holding hands with their moms in public. "

God. That just hurts to read that.

Outside looking in

BBC NEWS | Americas | Washington diary: Virginia shootings: "Despite this week's bloodbath there will be no overwhelming demand for gun control in this country. Like evangelical Christianity, baseball and a love of Pumpkin Pie it is just one of those things that separates Europeans from Americans."

This is what sickens me: how we're viewed in the world.

Number one - I'm no stupid evangelical Christian, pumpkin pie is OK, and I sure as hell think our gun-laws are laughable.

But what can you do when the NRA pays off politicians?

Senselessness

The hardest thing about violence like the type that
happened at Virginia Tech today, is that it is just so
damn...senseless. That's what makes me so angry and
feel so helpless (and others, too, I'm sure).

There is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, in this world
that is an acceptable excuse for just MASS MURDERING
innocent people. So much of life is trivial. You lost
your girlfriend or your boyfriend? Boohoo. You'll get
a new one in time. Lost your job? Big deal. Most
people hate their jobs anyway. I just don't get it.

I hope that shooter is suffering in hell this very
minute. There is no reason for his actions.

I'm also sick of the press conferences where the
reporters are trying to rip the cops a new one. Yes, I
think it's stupid that the administration didn't get
their information out earlier (and I'm sure they'll
pay for it), but they did what they thought was right
at the time. What sane person actually thinks
something like this is going to happen? You can take
every reasonable precaution, but at the end of the
day, you can't plan for a CRAZY person.

And I'm sick of reading all these comments on news
forums saying "Well, if everyone had a gun to protect
themselves..." You know what? B.S. Violence begets
violence. Carrying guns is an invitation to violence.
Not to mention: carrying any weapon most campuses
(including V Tech) is ILLEGAL. I can't think of
another country in the world that has as many violent
deaths by firearm as the U.S. Why? Because of our
stupid gun laws. People, I don't think our
constitutional right to bear arms was meant so that we
could have semi-automatics and armour-piercing rounds
on the street. You certainly don't need one to shoot
deer unless you like the taste of lead in your
venison. No, the right was meant in times of war or
occupation. That was the context.

God, those poor students and families at V-Tech.

And no one answer the question: Why?

It hurts.

Whatever you believe in: God or just the hope of
goodness: I think this sums it up better than I could.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18142473/site/newsweek/

Marc Gellman (Columnist at Newsweek)

VA Tech

22 Killed In Virginia Tech Massacre, Suspected Shooter Dead After Several Rampages On Campus; At Least 20 Others Injured - CBS News

jesus. front page like EVERYwhere.

what the hell is WRONG with people that they go off like this? You're that upset? Kill your damn self, NOT other people.

< sarcasm > Yay, for gun-toting America. We don't need more gun laws. No, really. We're just fine here with our body bags. < /sarcasm >

Healthcare

In a word: sucks!

Mental note to self: I really need to check my health care statements as they come in. I flipped out because I noticed that one of my claims was REFUSED. It said my benefits were canceled. I was like WTF?

A few more statements later, it was corrected. Thank Christ. That was a couple hundred I was not about to pay.

Teaching in England (or anywhere European for that matter)

I have found it: The American School in England. I found a couple others (one in Barcelona!), but without fail, all of them want a minimum of 3 years teaching experience PLUS experience teaching in an international setting.

WTF? How do you GET experience if no one will take you because you don't have it? JESUS.

Plus - three years?! I'm going to be a doddering 34 by the time anyone will look at my resume.

*weeps*

Mum, any words of advice?

europe

Why do I keep watching the Travel Channel? It's masochistic. Today, Samantha Brown was in Bolognia, Italy. God, it looked gorgeous.

I must...MUST...figure out some way of teaching in Europe. It can be done. It has to be done. I need to look for American schools (near embassies?) perhaps? Maybe I should start looking and then ask to speak to someone about what I can do to make myself marketable.

I want to live in Europe.

I've been trying to think of the next time I can seriously take a trip, and I just don't know when. I want to take a Contiki tour and hit Prague. They look like they have a good one. I can't do that until AFTER student teaching though.

Drinks

I got a little toasted last night.

Went to Chili's after work with former co-worker and
her friends. Denver the bartender (bad flirt, not
interested!) made some seriously strong presidente
margaritas. Ho-lee fuck.

Lawyer: Rove didn't mean to delete email - Yahoo! News

Lawyer: Rove didn't mean to delete email - Yahoo! News

Right. And shit doesn't smell. Rove doesn't do anything that ISN'T deliberate.

Carnival

I'm trying to think of what to write for Kilroy's Blogging Carnival. I'm coming up with a blank!!

Rutgers women block Imus' shot with classy stand - USATODAY.com

Rutgers women block Imus' shot with classy stand - USATODAY.com

Women athletes of all colors RULE.

Rare Protests at Brigham Young Over a Planned Cheney Appearance

Dude, when even the Mormons in Utah and BYU are protesting your ass...


Rare Protests at Brigham Young Over a Planned Cheney Appearance

The Blog | Jon Landau: Imus' Words: Recognizing Real Racism | The Huffington Post

The Blog | Jon Landau: Imus' Words: Recognizing Real Racism | The Huffington Post

AllDay : Roker says Time for Imus to Go

AllDay : Roker says Time for Imus to Go

Go Al! Go Al! Go Al!

I emailed both P&G and Staples yesterday to say "thanks" for pulling their ads from Imus.

I WANT A REFUND

Of the past two weeks and especially today for weather!

 

It is FRIGGIN THE MIDDLE OF APRIL. AND WE HAVE A SNOWSTORM.

 

There were at least three inches of snow covering my car this morning. It fucking SUCKS outside.

TV n stuff

I am watching Deadliest Catch on Discovery. God, how awful. They picked up from the previous show where a boat had capsized. They rescued one man, but three others didn't make it. They hauled up two bodies from the water. (The fourth remained unfound.) The poor guy they did rescue - he covered his face when they brought up his crew members.

God. God. God. Watching the coast guard, man, that was something. It's the friggin Bering Strait - it is obviously beyond cold in that water. Everyone else is trying to get OUT of the water, and god bless the coast guard, they are jumping in trying to save these guys. That takes a special breed of crazy service to your fellow man.

And now the new (woman) cook on one of the ships has seasickness and is yacking in the toilet. Which is remarkably like what I was just doing. SOMETHING I just ate wanted out in a damn hurry (in the conventional method). I thought I was going to burn a new hole in my ass. Jesus.

P.S. Imus is still a douchebag.

laundry list

1. Imus Idiot: Why is it that (seemingly) so many ugly white men get to be radio jocks/talk show hosts? I just heard about this during the day. One of my co-workers, R, is black (and originally from New Orleans; she moved because of Katrina) and oh THAT was a fun discussion. When she told me what Imus had said on air I was like "WTF?!" You, as an ugly-ass frail little white man (emphasis on the ugly, he looks like a wanna be muppet), DO NOT go on air and refer to someone as a "nappy headed ho". You are asking to get the shit beat out of you, and deservedly so. I mean, WTF was he thinking or was he even thinking at all. "A joke gone too far"? Whatever. Dude, Sharpton and Jackson are right. It shouldn't even be a question: Imus should've been shitcanned immediately. There is just no excuse for that type of behavior. You could have called the Rutgers girls manly or something, fine, but don't go saying something beyond stupid like that.

2. I walked to the drugstore after coming home to get something for my mom. I walked past my old high school as a track meet was going on. I wanted to die. Call me crazy, but I MISS high school (probably part of the reason why I want to be a high school teacher AND track coach) and I especially miss track. I had a bird's eye view of the discus "competition". *snort* Dude, SOMEONE needs to coach those girls, because they throw like shit. Man alive, I could have walked 60 feet out and said "go ahead, you ain't gonna hit me!" They were throwing it out of side-bounds half the time! Someone needs to tell them that you need to throw from the hip NOT the arm. Where the hell do YOU think you have more power? Weeny arm or mighty hip? Hip. I SO need to coach track when I become a teacher.

3. Speaking of activity, I got up early today and went to the gym before work. I had to after eating like such crap yesterday! I felt better afterwards. Now I'm really tired. I'm going to try and go to bed early.

4. Idiot from last week: Taz in African History. And a long overdue post about an undergrad idiot that likes to hear herself talk in my African History class. Or maybe not. Jesus, I just can't even work up the energy to discuss how much of a moron she is and how she doesn't think there's still de facto segregation in Chicago. *rolls eyes*

typing and music

my fingers fairly dance over the keyboard whilst listening to Ashley MacIsaac on my iShuffle (Hills of Glenorchy).

Dear god, I want to go to Europe so badly right now. I could die of wanting.

Painting

Kilroy,

That Jackson Pollack link is evil. And now I must share it for all of us who are bored silly at work!

http://www.jacksonpollock.org/





And I call this one "red lace thong"

Sweat

After coming out of my one-glass-of-wine fuzz, I went
to the gym.

Managed to do a consistent 2:48 split on mile times up
until the 10th mile. I think I hit 10.8 miles at 30
minutes. Wound up with 21.79 miles over the hour.

Sweaty and gross. Seriously, my shirt was soaked. And
it's COLD out.

Self-Image

I have to say, ever since I got back on the Atkins
(week of St. Patty's) and started biking like a maniac
at the gym, my ass is starting to look a whole lot
better.

I was just getting ready. I was in the bathroom with a
tank top and my hipsters on and looked at my butt and
thighs. MUCH BETTER. Less jiggle! Jiggle is for
Jell-O, not one's tush and thighs. Now if my stomach
would just go down correspondingly. I can get back in
my Express jeans comfortably, which is good.

Still can only hit 21 miles in an hour on the
stationary bike though. Damn it all. Consistency,
good, but I'd like to see IMPROVEMENT.

Anyhow, gotta go.

Candy Bastards!!

Dude, I fucking KNEW it. I KNEW they made the Cadbury
Creme Eggs smaller and I was RIGHT!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadbury_Creme_Egg

Unbelievably...

I actually wish I had Showtime channel. But ONLY
because they've got that mini-series The Tudors going
on. It could be awesome, or it could be utter crap.
Sets and attire look lavish.

I'm going to have to wait until it comes out on DVD
apparently. Unless...someone has it and can tape
it/dvd it for me??? ANY TAKERS?

Tired

Jesus, people. I am SO TIRED. The prospect of six
hours in class tonight, getting yapped at, is not a
happy one.

Random

Cheerleading

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/223/popup/index.php?cl=2272347

My neice, Valerie, does competitive cheerleading and
that's the kind of shit she does. Scary. Actually, if
you go to YouTube.com and search "Twisters Elite",
that's the squad she's in (the Junior division). She's
a fucking gumby, she's so flexible. She can do all
sorts of tumbling. I'm taking her to yoga with me as
soon as her season is done.

Reason Eleventy Million why I think religion sucks:

http://www.nbc5.com/news/11498039/detail.html?dl=headlineclick

WAH FUCKING WAH ASSHOLES. YOU LEFT THESE PREDATORS IN
THE FOLD HALF THE TIME AND PROTECTED THEM! SUE! SUE!
SUE! God, what fucking ASSHOLES.

Reason Eleventy Million + 1 why I think religion sucks
AND my mom is stupid:

My mom fucking donated OVER $2,000 to fucking Catholic
churches this year. For what? So they can bitch about
the above? And fucking hell, I don't think she's got
two grand to spare!! Fucking STUPID. I swear. I am
telling my mom that I am not doing her taxes ever
again, because I want to choke a bitch every time I
see how much money she is wasting on this religious
bullshit. God doesn't need money, okay? They can do
WITHOUT.

*screams in anger and frustration*

And a flipido ho!

I swear to god, I almost pee my pants every time I see this. My neice showed it to me tonight. Turn up the volume.