Friday, May 30, 2008

Political Quiz

Unsurprising. Ganked from Savagemind.

92% Barack Obama
91% John Edwards
88% Chris Dodd
87% Joe Biden
86% Hillary Clinton
84% Mike Gravel
83% Dennis Kucinich
78% Bill Richardson
44% Rudy Giuliani
30% John McCain
26% Mitt Romney
26% Tom Tancredo
22% Mike Huckabee
18% Ron Paul
14% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Ready, Set, WRITE

So, the junior English finals start in just over 20 minutes. I'll be in a computer lab (no internet access) for 90 minutes with about 50 kids. I hope no one tries to pull any shenanigans.
I think I might be more nervous than some of the kids. This is the first final I will proctor. I have a stack of stuff to hand back, too. And then, of course, I will have to grade approximately 50 essays before Monday. I think about ten of those will actually be enjoyable to read. Others I'm going to need plenty of beer to get through. I actually just read and graded a late essay assignment from one student. GOOD LORD. What rambling NONSENSE. No thesis! Kid, what's your POINT? Blah blah blibbidy BLAH.
I wonder if my lab room is ready. I should go walk down there and get set up.


I am seriously considering buying crap tickets for the game on Friday.
It starts at 1:20. I don't have to be in school (the final is today, so technically, no class just grading all friggin weekend). Work doesn't know that...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

If you can't handle the heat, get the hell outta my kitchen

Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

Stop pampering Soriano, start using him wisely: Jay Mariotti

So now the Cubs are warning fans not to fire verbal zingers at Alfonso Soriano. Seems they want $45 for a bleacher ticket, $6 for a beer and your right to free speech if the human blooper reel drops another fly ball. What might they demand next, a group hug for Soriano by the vines every time he goofs up?

Why not just position a full-time shrink inside the little green door in left field? He would have come in handy Tuesday night at Wrigley, where a season of Soriano defensive scrutiny continued with his latest error, an air-mailed throw that landed closer to the Cubby Bear than home plate. A Dodgers runner scored, two others moved up, and 40,000 folks groaned in the 40-degree chill. But don't you dare say anything harsh to poor Alfonso

Dude, if I paid money to go to the game, I'm going to freaking yell at WHOMEVER I damn well please. Whether it's "Soriano, you twit!" or "DeRosa you are so &*%$@#*(#)!@ HOT!" I'll leave the screaming at Cedeno to other females. What is this? The Cubs version of "don't you dare critique the Bush regime you unpatriotic idiot" of the early years of empire?

Mariotti goes on to give props to Brenley for his "throw a dart at the dugout" comment earlier from the Pittsburgh debacle.

What do you do with him, then? Do you move him to second base and have Mark DeRosa and others play left field? You could, but Soriano has exceeded 20 errors at that position three times. For now, Piniella must yank him out of left in late innings, which he refused to do Tuesday night but survived anyway in a Kosuke Fukudome-stoked, 3-1 victory. When the generally favorable men in the broadcast booth start complaining, you know Soriano has issues. TV analyst Bob Brenly should be applauded for his Steve Stone-like blitz, saying after the Pittsburgh blunder, "You could throw a dart at that (Cubs) dugout and find a better defender in left field." He also amplified what I wrote last week, that Soriano can't be considered a superstar when his defense is so offensive. As for radio fan Ron Santo, I'm not sure if he's over his latest "Ohhhhhh, noooooooo" moment, which rivaled his all-time shriek when someone dropped the ball in left field 10 years ago.

If someone is stupid enough to put Soriano in the infield...! I shudder to think. He can't fucking field OUTfield, why the hell would you have him in the INfield? Dude, DeRosa is a great utility man, but it would be stupid to have him in the outfield permanently.

Thoughts? Comments? Flames? Whatever, I got beer to douse the flames, so don't even bother with those.

ALSO: Something I noticed, does Derrek Lee "doink!" every guy shorter than him when he comes in to score? I've been noticing this lately, where he usually bops a player on the head with his hand.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mega Caffeine Needed

*bleary eyed*
Ugh. My sleep schedule got all screwed up over the extended weekend. My eyes felt gritty - like I had sand in the corners of my eyes this morning. I wish I had stayed and "worked from home".
Actually, I am going to speak to my new manager about the possibility of doing this two days a week (T/Th) starting next week. Gas prices are just too ridiculous. If I can work from home two days a week, and bike another two, boyo would that be awesome. I'd get more done at home anyways. Here I'm always distracted - often by people having stupid loud annoying conversations. There's one girl that sits in the other aisle who has her Springer-esque marital arguments over the phone. Last week I was seconds away from yelling "DIVORCE HIM ALREADY AND HAVE DONE!"
I'm going to have to grab a LARGE coffee on my way to school. I'll never make it otherwise.

Monday, May 26, 2008


I finally started grading the book annotations and last papers from my two classes. Hell. I should go grab a beer. The bad papers far outweigh the few good ones. I also had a kid who really fucked around doing his annotations. I'm teetering on giving him a D. I should give him a D. The fucker really deserves it.
It's actually WARM upstairs. Like, almost uncomfortably so. Except the temp is supposed to plummet again and be a high in the 50s tomorrow, so, maybe I will enjoy the warmth.
Oh. And yesterday I did a little tarot card reading and nearly laughed myself silly. "Insincere messages, cads, false flattery...and the light of the sun (i.e. truth) shining on it all". Hells yes, bitches. The power of my insight and logic will SUNBURN ALL YA'LLS ASSES.

Name Change

I need to change the name/address of my blog. I think I'm bored with the one I've had.

Also: I fail at getting coals to be hot in a grill. I blame the briquets - they were old. Damnit.

So sue me

I replied back to Bob the Builder. (Oh, and did I mention "Nice Boy" Ronnie totally flaked out on meeting me yesterday to give me back my books? Shithead!) I guess I came down on the side of: it's dating. Everyone fucks up on occasion, wishing they could take shit back. Although this is IT.

I have to say I'm surprised to hear from you again. I'm not sure how I feel about it, considering, yes, you could have handled the last communication better.

I'm the type of person who would rather just have the truth be said politely and promptly instead of being left wondering what's going on. If you honestly thought you were you going to move, that's your own business. I'm also not so naive to think that I was/will be the only other person you'll be in contact with here. You had mentioned that you were seeing someone else in addition to the intended move. It's a dating site, after all. Dating implies meeting/talking with many people, and saying "good-bye" to the majority of them eventually.

If I were to start talking with you again, I want it on the firm understanding that you give me the courtesy of being straight-up with me. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. What drives me nuts is investing my time with people who just drop off one day with no explanation and expect me to "figure it out". I may do tarot cards, but I'm not a mind reader.

If this is something you think you can do, then you can contact me.


EDIT: OH, and the trailer for the second part of Doctor Who? FUCKING ROCKS!!!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Social Experiment Redux

I got a notification email saying I have a message over at plentyoffish.




*sardonic look*

Friday, May 23, 2008


I've been rewatching "The Taming of the Shrew" from the BBC's Shakespeare Re-Told DVD. I fucking love that catchy little mambo number. Finally found out what it is: Gopher Mambo by Yma Sumac. YMA SUMAC. I AM A DORK.
But I'm gonna be a shaking/shimmying dork.

Hillary is a Whore

Seriously. She uses "assassination" in her remarks? WTF? Olbermann is so right - bitch is fucking off her god damned rocker.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Seriously FUCKED UP

I feel like I'm in an episode of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, people.
Did you fucking know that google maps now often has actual IMAGES of places and intersections when you are looking at directions? For instance, I was looking at the distance between my house and work on the route I would take biking. I knoticed there were a number of camera icons next to different stages in my directions. I clicked. THERE ARE ACTUAL 360 degree PHOTOS of things...THINGS LIKE MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE.
I am under SURVEILLANCE!!! In a very real way! *agog*

Needing a recharge...

So, it's a new day. The Cubs fizzled AGAIN last night against the asstrolls. V. v. unhappy about that.
Idiot Boy Ronnie has not texted back yet to confirm me getting my comics back.
I have a lot to do today, and really no motivation to do it.
Why is it that the best sleep I get is at 6:45am when I really should be UP already?
I need to go get a movie tonight to show in "class" tomorrow. Something American-y. Baseball. Except then the girly girls will be annoyed. WAH WAH WAH.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

because happy is just so trite

 First: Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. :) Es muy bueno. I, too, am hoping for a Cubs win on my birthday.

Second: I AM SO FUCKING TIRED. I can't work up any excitement today at all. My mom wants to know what I want. Hell if I know. She asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner for my birthday tonight. I told her probably not because I'm tired after school (YOU try prancing about and making a pack of angsty teens want to learn something at the end of the fucking school year. You'd be tired, too!). My dad just called to see if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. Nope. Too damn tired. I told him Friday. 

Seriously. I just had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich because that's all I could work up the energy to make. I just want to sit here and wait for my Cubs game to come on the tv and watch it. 

I'm looking forward to hanging out with Anne on Saturday in Chicago. But tonight? Just tired.

Also, a day or so ago, I'd emailed Ronnie (he of  "the social experiment") to mention the comics of mine he still has. I got a text from him today on my way to school. He had forgotten he had them and said he could either meet up with me or fedex them. I didn't have time to respond, so I just put my phone down. A minute or so later...another text. This time saying "Sorry I didn't k.i.t. [keep in touch]. Been dating someone."

*blank look*

Like...I fucking care? That just pisses me off. I mean, I KNOW I'm making something out of nothing here, but give me a break. It was fairly obvious neither of us was really into the other. Fine. You don't have to fucking tell me that. I haven't called you either, numbnuts! Just give me back my shit, that's all I want. What? Are you fucking gloating or something? 

Dear Ronnie, these are the reasons I can think of for not dating you right off the top of my head:

1. "Ronnie". Ronnie (unless it is followed by "Santo" or "Cedeno") just sounds infantile and like your mother still washes your tightie-whities for you. Get a fucking man's name, would you?

2. You are too motherfucking hairy. 

3. You talk with a sort of lisp.

4. You don't care for baseball in general, the Cubs obviously would not be something we have in common.

5. You're shortish.

6. The way you had your apartment decorated was cheap, tawdry and screamed of 80s hotel.

Blah blah blah. "I've been dating someone." Fuck you AND the horse you rode in on! I love how it's so easy for other people to just find some schmuck to date. GREAT FOR YOU. 

Dating sucks. I will never be successful at it. I'm angry and I don't even know why. I don't know why I should care. My life is good and I don't need a man to fuck that up. Still, I can't help being lonely every now and then. 

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may..." said Shakespeare ("To the maidens, to make much of time")

Pretty soon I'm just going to be old and wrinkled. None of it matters. I shouldn't care. I wouldn't know what love is, anyway. I haven't ever loved anyone. Thought I did, but it wasn't. Certainly no one has loved me in that way, either. I don't even know how to love some one like that. Hell, I couldn't even function at just random sex. I can't disassociate myself enough to just fuck someone and be done with it. I'm horrible at sex anyway. It's just bodies slapping away and people making ridiculous noises. The thought of exposing my various flabby pale bits to someone for their scrutiny and pawing kind of makes me want to hide. I don't want to be thought of as lacking or sub-par. I have quite enough of that as it is, with guys always seeming to find something better. 

Guys I have liked, never liked me or just liked me as a regular person. Some guys that have liked me, I haven't liked in that sense back OR they were crazy (Comic Shop Guy from two years ago would be a good example of that).

I'm just going to stick with my nice, tidy, sanitary and completely safe obsession with Mark DeRosa. Why? Because imagination is king and reality sucks.

God, I just want Saturday to be here so I can get blitzed with Anne.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Oh balls

I changed my template because the tea one apparently died and I LOST MY LINKS.


Thursday, May 15, 2008


The Wrigley sports store at the mall did NOT have the blue Cubs jerseys! I could have sworn they did. Regardless, they didn't even have the DeRosa jersey. SUCK.
I WANT A DEROSA JERSEY NOW DAMN IT. I can order one online but it takes three weeks. Cubs flisty girls: does Woodfield's store have the blue jerseys in stock w/ DeRosa?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Main Stream Media: A Dinosaur

Let me bitch about our ever-so-reliable Main Stream Media. YOU SUCK. YOU'RE USELESS. The grand fourth estate you used to be is a DEAD, BLOATED CORPSE. This is why no one pays attention to you anymore, and it's why Jon Stewart is smarter than you.
Hillary Clinton "crushes" Obama in WV? Big FUCKING deal. Doesn't change the math. It is FAR too little, too damn late. He has out-crushed her in many contests prior to this. And if you want to use Hillary's idiotic racist vitriol, how about this: Obama connects with the vast majority of "white" voters in Oregon and is going to win there. Oregon is something like 90% white? Hillary is a bitch and is going down. Shamefully. Seriously, she is tarnishing whatever good Billy-boy did in the 90s. ACCEPT IT. YOU LOST, BITCH. And I am perfectly happy calling her a bitch because I'm a woman. Oh, and I'm "white"/Hispanic. I'm MEXICAN FREAKING IRISH. How about that? I also like lattes and apparently my vote doesn't count because of that and the fact Illinois doesn't "matter". Whatever, we always go blue because of the Chicago metro, you rag.
I'm SO SICK of this race bullshit. WHO GIVES A FUCK. Don't you think it's time we finally got over this? Obama is as much white as black. Why do we cling to these pejorative views where "if you're one drop, you're ALL black"? GET OVER IT. We live in a day and age where people can be an incredible mix of cultures. If anything, I like that Obama is both. I think it will seriously take someone like him to make this country start examining its conscience and how we all treat each other.
I refuse to believe this so-called poll that says "majority" believes Clinton should be on the ticket as VP. Yeah, RIGHT. The so-called "dream" ticket has been SHOT DEAD the minute it reared its ugly mutant head. NO WAY. If Obama chooses that, that's his crazy fucking business and I will manage to deal, but I can't imagine him doing that. She's been pissing in the well for far too long.
NEW TOPIC: Vatican says it's "okay to believe in aliens"? Great, thanks Benny. Now go get some baby oil and get back to your wanking. Give me a break, oh obsolete dinosaur #2.
Myanmar (Burma): Jesus. That's about all I can say. The junta there? Is evil. Just evil. Seriously, if ever there was a case for the U.N. going in there, "sovereignty" be damned, this is it. That junta is willfully destroying the people and refusing to give aid! They've stolen the aid supplies and haven't handed them out. WTF? Another Pol Pot, anyone? They won't let anyone in. Shit, even CHINA is being open about its earthquake disaster.
God, I am just disgusted today.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Ahead of the game?

Maybe? FOR ONCE?
I am mostly done with my laundry. I went to the gym and to the store already.
I do need to take a shower still from the gym!
I finished up some work (business). The last main order of business for this weekend is to seriously come up with a game plan for school this week. I think tomorrow is a fine day for a pop quiz. Some of them are seriously not paying attention to the work.
And maybe if I get done with that shit, I will take up some more knitting.

Doctor Who's Your [....]

Well, I personally liked that episode! (Episode 6 of current series.)
Seriously, can Donna ever NOT be awesome? Martha was really good in this one, too. I felt so sad at the .. well you know. (Well, you should if you watched.)
All sorts of interesting complications for the Who-verse.
DT - - loved the acting. Some exceptionally cool backstory to the Doctor. Lots of flashes to past episodes from all seasons of the current run - including Nine, Rose, Jack, etc.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Duh Moments

I am sitting at Starbucks, grading tests and creative writing stories. I just finished one class' stories, so am taking a break.
I googled "what does SM mean in knitting" because these directions on the next part of my skirt were driving me insane. WTF is SM?!
"Slip marker". I just stared at the screen. "Slip marker". Boy, what a dumb ass direction. One of those answers and you think "boy am I stupid".
Anyhow. Some of the creative writing I got from these kids is just fantastic. We just finished up Song of Solomon, so I wanted them to write about a story they think is important to their family identity/history or a story they might share with their descendents years in the future. Some of these kids are a freaking riot. I really should PDF some and share them. One kid wrote about an uncle who tried home brewing in the ATTIC, except the hot temperature made the appartus explode and beer leaked from the ceiling onto the parents' heads. Busted!
More than a few stories about grandparents/parents emigrating from another country. Two from Bolshevik Russia, interestingly. Another bootlegger story. One story that absolutely floored me was short, but it had an O Henry twist. One boy wrote about his Grandpa Bill. Grandpa was part of a force pushing into Germany during WWII. Apparently they were all having a good time, drinking beer, when the order for silence came in. They ran out of beer and wanted more, but nobody wanted to run through enemy country to go back to base (completely disregarding the fact that they'd also just received an order to stay "still and silent"). I was laughing at this typical army humor and wondering what was going to happen. The men drew straws to see who'd get stuck going on a beer run. Well, Grandpa Bill got it and was NOT HAPPY, but off he runs back to base to get the damn beer.
I'm on page two at this point of the story. Grandpa Bill comes back and drops the case of beer when he reaches camp: there was nothing left. The camp had been bombed and obliterated during the fifteen minutes he was gone to get the beer. Here he was, thinking he was going to get shot at or die on a beer run, and he winds up being the only one to live.
I was laughing and smiling at the story one minute, and then the smile on my face literally froze and my mouth dropped open the next. Damn.
In my ninth period class on Friday, some students chose to share their stories and read aloud. One girl started crying with like two sentences to go at the end. !! The room went dead quiet and I was like OH NO, OH SHIT. It's totally not kosher to do this nowadays (hello, lawsuits for "inappropriateness"), but I wound up giving her a hug after class. She had written about her relationship with her younger sister. It's evident from the story that she just loves her sister to pieces, but you know how it is when you're teenagers -screaming and fighting all the damn time. I think she should totally share what she wrote with her sister, but she was like "No way! She'll think I'! She threw a shampoo bottle at me this morning!"
Grading these stories isn't hard, it's actually fun. I haven't given anything below a B at this point. I'm just not looking forward to grading the essay portion of a test from last week. THAT will suck.

Friday, May 02, 2008

It's Friiiiiiday (and I'm exhausted)

This whole splitting my time between two jobs is just beating the shit out of me. Ugh. I wish I was just teaching.
I really have to do a better job of teaching My Antonia than I did Song of Solomon. I gave the kids a test on SOS yesterday -- it is never nice seeing how many questions they got wrong on the MC and T/F section. Ugh. That, or I have to make sure (through small daily quizzes) that they are keeping up with the reading.
Slowly knitting away at the Annie Modesitt skirt. I just want to finish this one section so I can at least start working a new pattern of stitches! Getting BORED with the same thing for the first six inches of the skirt. ALTHOUGH, I did manage to intuit how to correct my stitches on a previous round. I saw that I'd accidentally purled instead of knitted in a couple spots. At first it was only one purl in the previous round. I was like "YAY ME!" when I figured out how to unravel only that stitch down, knit it back up and continue. And then, last night, I noticed I had purled in one spot, for three rows down. Uh oh. I knew I could do one row down...could I unravel down to three rows without accidentally fucking up everything? I was hunched over, scowling at it, but managed to do it. Hurrah!
Tonight is a mini reunions of sorts. One of my sorority sisters called earlier in the week saying she was coming to Chicago for a conference, and asked if I wanted to meet up. Then, I kid you not, less than half an hour later ANOTHER sister that I haven't heard from in FOREVER (she's a bit of a scatterbrain, too) calls me saying she will be in town for her aunt's wedding. The first one is coming from Des Moines, the second from San Diego. I was beginning to think everyone was invading my territory. These are probably the ONLY two sorority sisters I would even consider spending time with, and two of only three people total I bother with when it comes to my undergraduate alma mater. (The other obviously being Ms C or "chickcook". )
I'm really tired though, so I'm feeling a little whiney about going out tonight. I'm going to keep it an early night. (I will have SHITLOADS of grading to do this weekend.) My friend Anne is going to come with - we'll drive down to A's place right after school this afternoon. She knows a new good tapas place in her neighborhood.
Can you believe it's May already? I can't. I still feel like I'm stuck in March. We've hardly had any decent weather this spring. Today it's warm, but we might have severe storms, and then it's supposed to drop back down into the freaking 50s.