Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Main Entry: soph·o·mor·ic
Pronunciation: "säf-'mor-ik, -'mär- also "sof- or "sä-f&- or "so-f&-
Function: adjective
1 : conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature <a sophomoric argument>
2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of a sophomore <sophomoric humor>
Main Entry: 1soph·o·more
Pronunciation: 'säf-"mor also 'sof- or 'sä-f&- or 'so-f&-
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Greek sophos wise + mOros foolish
: a student in the second year at college or a 4-year secondary school
Cards that should have been rethought (for people who think of all the wrong things, like myself):
The other day, whilst perusing Father's Day cards, I saw this one with a drawing on front of a girl leaning, chin in hands, on a table. The inside said, "To my dad, the only man to never give me a headache."
I snorted and immediately thought, "Bullshit. MY dad has given me plenty of headaches! What a stupid card." As the card rattled back into its slot, another thought hit me: headaches. Men. Women. When do women tell men, "Not now, I have a headache!" OhdearchristonacrackerYUCK!!! The card went from just being stupid to deeply ooky in about 2 seconds. I stood back from the card rack and looked on horrified before walking away.
Is it a cow? Or a hermaphrodite?
People, know how to classify your animals. Remember the "Barnyard" animated movie (hopefully not, it'll mean you weren't exposed to its outrageous inaccuracies), or even its trailers? A bunch of boy STEERS. Because cows are females, NOT males. If you ever saw the trailer, you'll have perhaps noticed that all the boys HAD UDDERS. WROOooOONG! And worse? The cows running away from some trouble they'd caused, with one of them yelling "Oh, Milk Me!"
Yeah, honey, that isn't an udder and that isn't milk.
Deux: Formatting a report at work and I caught something on the organ weight tabulations. It was for females, but there were columns AND data for prostrate and testes. Hmmmmm....
I went to the study director and was like "Um, follow me, here. [pointed to word female on page, then slowly drew finger to the word 'prostrate'] Did evolution just get seriously weird?" He replies, "Or our drug is REALLY toxic..." Good humor.
Yeah, I'd pronounce it that way, too, if my last name were...
ASSMANN. This is really a last name of some scientist writing documents in learned medical journals. It made me snark. My (former) boss said "It's actually pronounced 'Ozman'."
Whatever. That's ASSMANN, and you and I know it. Funnier, because it was a woman.
Another great last name: Boobis.
My squash are growing monstrously. Tomatoes are peeping out.