All the pain, nothing fun getting there (more on the bike ride)

I literally had one of those reusable cold compresses placed on my girl parts last night because it hurt so bad from that bike ride.

 

I think it's swollen around the area where the edges of the bike seat were. Very UN-sexy. If this is what childbirth (which is what one of my co-workers said it sounds like and she HAS had kids and said it was comparable!) or rough sex is like, I'll pass on both, thank you very much!

 

I had the compress arranged (I was wearing shorts, so no, I didn't have it right on my skin), and then had to gingerly scooch down in bed to get into a prone position, whimpering the whole time. I also placed a pillow under my knees because my legs were hurting. My knees are NOT happy with me today. The first thing I did before even getting out of bed was to grab the bottle of ibuprofen on the nightstand and gulp down two.

 

OMG. Seriously, how do serious cyclists, especially guys do this? Are their nuts shriveled to little walnuts? I look like a crippled old lady getting in and out of my chair today. It's pathetic.

 

Lord, never EVER EVER do a road race/ride of any significant duration on a mountain bike. Sheer stupidity. The last ten miles I wanted to DIE. I was seconds away from sobbing at various points. I wanted to throw myself into a grassy ditch at several points (and this was only around 30 miles) and just weep.

 

The ride started in downtown Milwaukee and then went north. For the 50 mile, our furthest out point was somewhere in north Mequon. We were way the fuck out in BFE Mequon. We went well past (not that anyone besides me here knows this) Donges Bay Road. That last outer loop was what did me in, mentally. The outer rest stop was at Concordia College at 21.4 miles. So, you figure you have just under 4 miles to go out to hit halfway, then the same amount back to the rest stop (for just about 8 miles). Those 8 miles felt like 20. Nothing but country and it was so empty for the most part; I didn't have a lot of people around me and all I could think about was how much my knees and crotch were hurting! If I'd had to spend one more mile in Mequon I was going to go postal on someone.

 

It was beautiful on the way out passing the "stately" homes on Lake Michigan (fucking HUGE houses), but I couldn't care less on the way back.  The inner rest stop was about 12 miles out and I kept trying to tell myself it would go quick, but it didn't. I was dragging so bad. Somewhere in Whitefish Bay at an intersection, a volunteer was cheering us on and saying we were almost there. She practically made me cry. When we finally got back onto the lakefront in Milwaukee by UWM, I was in despair of seeing the Summerfest grounds.

 

There wasn't even a "finish line" area when you got to the end. It was so LAME! I felt gypped! Just some people with an orange flag saying "thanks for participating!" I got off my bike and walked it to the car. I wasn't spending another second on that damn seat. It felt so good to take a long shower afterwards. I was all dirty and gritty and disgusting.

 

I must find better bike shorts or something with better padding.