Sunday, January 28, 2007

Cookery and other things

I made another batch of Moro Blood Orange Marmalade
today. Today, however, I threw in a few glurgs of

Now, I christen thee "Moro Blood Orange Tequila
Sunrise Marmalade"!

I watched the final part of Masterpiece Theatre's Jane
Eyre production while doing it. Holy fuck, did they
massively edit the book. Things are so glossed over -
anyone who hadn't read the book would have NO fucking
clue how people got from point A to point B. They
don't even explain where the hell St. John is at the
end, either!

AAAAAND..I still don't get how St. John is pronounced
"Sin-jin"? Oh, those crazy English. I mean, yes, I
know it's supposed to be pronounced that way (and it
kinda sexes the name up), but...WHY?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

You leave this world like you entered it: with nothing

So, yesterday my mom told me that my grandpa is dying of lung cancer. This is in addition to my grandma who has been slowly dying of breast cancer (I think). They live in Bonita Springs, FL. (These are my slightly psychotic and bigoted paternal grandparents. The ones my mom and aunt went to see the 2005 hurricane season and who didn't want to fucking evacuate during Rita or something.)

Now, my grandpa was the one, along with my great aunt Lily, that was taking care of grandma. Obviously that is not happening anymore. Grandpa is in a hospice right now. My Aunt Mary called tonight from Arizona to say that granpda is probably not going to make it until Monday. He must have had lung cancer for a while now and just not known it (he's been feeling sick for a long time, but stupidly wouldn't go to a doctor, just like my grandma, which is why SHE is dying of a different cancer too!). So he's crashing pretty fast now.

Once he goes, my dad is going to Florida and bringing my grandma back up to live with him for however long she's got. He's looking to hire someone to live in-house as a caretaker. She doesn't want to be in a home, and I don't blame her, not with all the geriatric care problems these homes seem to have. Her house is going to have to be cleaned and sold and that is going to be a big fucking mess. My aunt and I discussed that. This is the house that my aunt and mom had to clean last time because it was infested with palmetto bugs (i.e. GIGANTIC FUCKING COCKROACHES), and my aunt has since paid for a regularly visiting exterminator. They just couldn't take care of the place any more.

I don't necessarily feel bad about the whole dying thing. They're old, and as I've mentioned often in the past, I do have beef with them for being really stupid and bigoted. What my dad is doing? Another big example of how he (and by extension, my mom) has always dropped shit to help them out even while being treated like second class family. I am still angry at hearing how my grandpa (not my biological grandpa, but the only one I've known) was making crack-ass remarks about Mexicans while my mom (A MEXICAN) was slaving away trying to help them out the last visit. They have always treated my dad and our family as secondary to my Uncle Otis (dad's older sibling) and Aunt Mary's family. We're just the Beaners; they're the chosen Aryans as I like to call it.

Is it my UNCLE AND AUNT taking grandma in? Hell no. Don't get me wrong, I like my aunt, but I think my uncle gets away with shit. He's retired and has more money and a bigger fucking house(s). Why the fuck isn't he doing this? Because my dad has the bigger heart apparently, even though I know grandma (his own mother) can drive him up the fucking wall.

[Incidentally, I'm scared by how similar I am to my dad at this point. I got his temper and lack of tolerance for bullshit, that's for sure. I guess I'm seeing more clearly how my dad just sacks up and takes even the crappy stuff other people won't do. We bitch and moan about it, but we get it done. I guess this means it will only take me 30 more years to mellow out...better keep doing the yoga.]

I'm going to have to go over to my dad's and help clean out the two other bedrooms in preparation for the move. I have some stuff in storage in one of them. He said not to worry about it yet, but hell, better do it now. Grandpa isn't going to be living much longer which means Grandma is going to have to be moved up here lickety-split. What a fucking mess. I'm going to have to suck it up and help. I'm angry about how they've acted, but I need to get over it enough to be civil. They're old and dying.

A day, a week, a month, a year: eventually time runs out and what do you have left?

Seriously, fuck this existential bullshit. I'm going to get a whiskey.

Borracho y loco

I love it.

Letters from Anne Frank's father surface - Yahoo! News

Letters from Anne Frank's father surface - Yahoo! News

Monday, January 22, 2007

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Grin and Bear it - NFL - Yahoo! Sports: "Chicago attacked the weather with bare arms and Saints QB Drew Brees with naked aggression. They knocked him down, sacked him, beat him, pounded him and caused a fumble, an interception, a safety and probably post-traumatic stress disorder. "

Aaaaah ha hahahahahaha!

Reggie Bush, eat my shorts

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Bears :: Defense proves experts wrong: "''I told him it was unprofessional of him to do that,'' Ogunleye said. ''He's a rookie and he's a hell of a player; he's going to be a hell of a player in this league. For him to look back and point -- he had no class. I swear I was a second away from punching him. I'm glad I didn't.''"

That's what we call Karma, people.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


OH MY GOD! I LOVE MY BEARS! Finally, Rex started
clicking AND our defense played with an iron fist.

Looking to the SUPER BOWL!!

God, either team - Colts or Pats - is going to be
nasty. Colts would be Midwest Rumble. Pats - Superbowl
85 Redux but Brady is a stone cold killer.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

What up, Homey?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Finding space

I managed to drag myself out of bed this morning (a SATURDAY) and go to early yoga at 7:45. I found myself thinking two thoughts in particular during practice:
Know your limits...
...but push

Wendy worked us hard and I was dripping sweat onto my mat well before the halfway point. This is the level 1/level 2 class and there were a number of advanced persons in the class today. These two lithe ladies, in particular, right in front of me, who popped right into headstands like it was as easy as standing on their two feet. I tried not to gape. I asked Wendy to help me into a headstand because that is my goal for right now. I want to nail a headstand. I can get into it, but I can't hold it without a spotter. I don't have the core strength. I am going to have to do a lot of sit-ups and focus on working my core a lot more. It was at that point that I realized most of my ability right now in yoga is based on leg and toe strength (trying to grip the mat and not move) and sheer stubborness. Sorta needs to be the abdominals more!

And then we proceeded to move into more varied handstands. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, people. I can't even explain it. I wish I had a camera. One is called crow pose. This other chick at the end just popped right into this pose, balancing on her hands/elbows bent with her legs splayed out in a V to the side in the air. It was amazing. I was just trying to do the very very basic one where you are balanced on your bended arms with your legs bent to the side, close to the body. I could almost do it to the left side (much more flexible on that side, like obscenely so), but I just flopped onto my back and lost it. I laid back on my mat and just sighed. It was pretty funny, actually. Wendy, the teacher, was saying to go back into downward dog or something, saw me flop and said " can go into [corpse] pose..." I managed to weakly raise my right hand & do the peace gesture, and people started laughing. Like I said, practice was vigorous, but it definitely was not a "if you can't do this, you suck" kind of thing. Yoga, no matter how much I am envious of the people who can just go into these ridiculous flying poses, is not about competition. Some day, I am going to get into one of those hand balancing things and it will rock. Just have to practice.

Here's one of the poses we (or I tried) to do later: Bakasana Crane Pose. I can almost almost get all the way down in this next one if I use my left leg as the lead. The Asian lithe lady in front of me just went into this like it was nothing: Hanumanasana (Monkey Pose).

It was just fucking crazy, but in a good way. Seriously, I think I'm going to blow whatever tax refund check I get on buying more yoga classes.
The yoga studio rules, Wendy rules and I will someday get a headstand without a problem.

Now if I could just get my niece (almost 13) to go with me. She's such a fucking rubber band, I bet she could do half this shit already. She does tumbling and cheerleading as it is.

I was so energized after class, and in a happy mood.

Friday, January 19, 2007

A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan

A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan
A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offensein Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death.
However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.
The Viking fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Viking fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Packer fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back. But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Packer fan out crying like a little girl.
The Bear fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate, but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Bear fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
"Tie the Packer fan to my back."

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Sex, and those of us not having it...

This is a weird article that popped out at me today: No
Sex, Thanks

I practically died when I saw the headline and the

Let's see, this February 1st it will have been THREE
YEARS since I last did the (full) deed. I messed
around, obviously, when I was dating the last jackass
in 2005, but we never got groiny. Kind of difficult to
get groiny when you're in the basement of his parent's
house worried about whether or not his six year old
daughter is going to wander downstairs...NEVER AGAIN.

And before that time in my life, I had a bout where I
went six years.

This kind of happened to me. I didn't go out choosing
to be all pure and chaste, that's for damn sure. I've
had chastity foisted upon me by the universe. E.G.,
the universe wherein most men are pigfools and I'm too
damn busy with life to be bothered. I don't get the
whole jesusy-people "save yourself" thing for marriage
or god, or whatever. Those people are nuts and are in
DESPERATE NEED of a shag even more than I am.

As it is, I hardly remember what a penis is or where
you'd stick it.

IN OTHER (non-sexual) NEWS: I missed my year
anniversary of Buddha's Return! JANUARY 13th last
year, I got a call from the shelter saying Buddha had
been brought in after he escaped from my house the
first weekend in October 2005.

Monday, January 15, 2007


So, last week was the first week of my "organization" experiment. I put together a schedule for the week and tried to adhere to it.
I did pretty well, but already went through an adjustment. By Friday, I was zonked. I tried to get up early that day to do the gym before work, but I was actually dizzy when I tried to get up. I decided then and there that I'd better sleep the extra hour! Besides which, I probably needed a no-exercise day at that point.
To recap:
Monday (early) gym
Tuesday class in the evening
Wednesday - yoga pm
Thursday (early) gym / homework evening
Friday - rest
Saturday - was going to get up and do early yoga, but couldn't because I had trouble falling asleep Friday night. went to yoga in the afternoon instead.
Sunday - oops, didn't exercise, it was Bears playoff game!
And today I got up bright and early again to hit the gym! (And also escaped some nasty traffic because of the snow I bet.)

Saturday, January 13, 2007



I just made the bitchingest pot of minestrone. I'm
impressed, and it's not even my favorite soup to make
usually. I don't know what exactly I did differently
this time, but it is RICH and tastier than ever.


Breakfast Happiness

Earl Grey Bravo tea from Adagio Teas
Two slices of toast with cream cheese and orange

*content to do nothing*

Thursday, January 11, 2007


HOLY FRIJOLES! Beckham is going to play for LA Galaxy. Dude, soccer places are gonna go crazy with the girls next season...
Posh n' Becks watch, US version, here we go. Dude, if they play Chicago Fire, I may have to actually go.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Nothing but complaints tonight...

Not surprisingly, the Jane Austen seminar was chock
full o' poufters. Taught by this old guy with patchy
white spare hair (think in the style of a newly
fluffed baby chick), with an enormous pot belly who
incessently strutted across the room AND wearing a
plaid shirt.

See? I'm not picturing Jane Austen taught by some guy
who looks rather like he should be chawing on a stalk
of wheat, looking over a field in the middle of Iowa.
Because that's what he looked like.

He was amusing for the first 15 minutes, but then he
got on my nerves. Our syllabus is the most free-form
thing I've ever seen, and until we read a book
(starting with P&P), we didn't really have anything to
discuss. He was like "Well, I can stretch out what I
have to say to about an hour..."

OH GOD. Please, just don't. (But he did.) See, if you
have nothing to teach the first week of class and
we're not going to discuss anything, then don't
fucking waste my time yapping at me about YOU and YOUR
history and WHY you - you, farmer Elmer Fudd looking
type - are a "Janian". Because really? I don't care. I
seem to be getting quite narcissistic and "don't waste
my time"-y as I get closer to 30. It's getting really


Any my left jaw still hurts. *whimper*

First Class

So, history class is going to be a lot of reading. BUT
MAN, do I have to say this: goddamn fucking
undergrads! (GFU, henceforth)

I know it's elitist and snobby, but it's fucking true.
Fucking undergrads are so babyish and "oh my god! what
about this? what about that? how can I get this done!"
*rolls eyes*

Seriously, once you get to graduate level, it's like
you're looking at babies who don't even know how to
shit in their diapers. People, fucking grow up. This
one chick KEPT ASKING QUESTIONS - dumb ones (I am not
one of those people who ascribe to the "there are no
stupid questions", because HELLO THERE ARE) - and then
it was about stuff the professor was going to cover if
she would have just held on to her britches for like
five minues.

Class is packed, too. I just want to survive it, get
it done and get my history endorsement.

Now I gotta print out a shitload of documents from our
library reserves. Come on Organization 07, baby, don't
fail me now. I mean to keep up and straight on my shit
this semester.

Note to self: New bookbag

And I think this is the bad ass I want: <a
Air Cisco</a>

Tuesday...Death March

I blame my friend Anne for introducing this term into
our collective lexicon.

Death March (Noun): day of the week in which one
works, or otherwise spends a useful day doing things,
then proceeds to take 6 hours of class in the evening.
Often results in feeling like "the living dead". Has
carry over effect into the next day, if not all days
leading into the weekend wherein one can reasonably
expect to catch up on sleep.

Oy. So, work in the new gig was fairly boring today.
That's primarily because it's the first day and lord
knows the only thing you do at a Fortune 500 on the
first day is fill out paperwork, read SOPs and other
training until you're blue in the face. Give me a
week, maybe then I'll have an opinion. I'm hopeful
that once I get into the work that all will go well.

Am at school now and all I have to say is: JANE
FUCKING AUSTEN, BITCHES! *a-hem* I can't wait. I
really hope it's good. It was between this or the
Shakespeare course. But really, how could you go wrong
with either?

Monday, January 08, 2007

Well, that sucks...

So today was my last day in the admin gig. I started
to freak out a little towards the end. I'm going to
miss a lot of the people, just not the job y'know?

I dropped off one box of my stuff at the new digs:
bleeeh! Utterly no privacy! That's going to bite. My
group is my manager (who shall be christened
"Eyebrows"), and
three other people. We're all in one interior room -
so no windows. Ugh. No natural lighting.

No cubicles, no privacy. I have my back
guessed it, my manager. Who can see straight onto my
computer screen.

No Yahoo email, no iTunes...certainly no LJ! Totally
sucks. It's going to be an interesting eight months to
say the least.Link

I just hope I can say that it sucks, and not ME. I
want to do a good job.

In other news: I got a freaking letter from Trinity College
! I saw the UK postage and thought it
was my Mum, but then noticed the postmark said
Carmarthen and thought that very strange. It's an
alumni letter! They're trying to start an alumni
association for all the Americans that have gone
through the college (my undergrad had an exchange
program with this school). FANTASTIC! I hate my
undergrad, but dude, Trinity College was the best
fucking semester of my LIFE. I wish I'd stayed an
entire year. I am so going to reply.

And now, I already have. That poor chick who sent the letter is going to be like
WHO IS this yappy person!


I figured it out. Agent Provocateur's "Eau Emotionnelle" perfume smells like lingerie. You know, that sexy silky scent va-va-voom? Just like that.

Hooray for Me

Today is my last day in the "old job". Tomorrow I embark upon a non-admin assistant job! Now I'm nervous and hope I don't fuck it up.
Jaw is better today. No one yet has taken up on my offer to see my gross teeth. Wussies.
Speaking of the "organization" '07, I went to bed last night just after 9pm. That was difficult. Had to remind myself to turn off the damn tv, don't grab a book, and turn out the stinking light. Seriously. I didn't feel like I was going to get much sleep, but I must have. I woke up on time with my alarm this morning at 4:50am. I had my bags and clothes laid out and was out the door by 5:10am to get to the gym. The place was already busy; they must have opened a little before their stated time of 5:30. Still wasn't as busy as it gets after work hours. Hustled onto an elliptical trainer and got my workout done by 5:59. Schweet. Got ready and went to work. It was weird, but not unpleasant to be awake and fully about by 6:50am. Very little traffic, no fuss! Got to work by about 7:20am. Actually cold today, too! I wonder if we'll get snow again this season. Watch it, we'll probably get dumped on in April.
Well, today I give myself an "A" for staying on schedule. And yesterday, too. I went to yoga at 4:30 and felt the best I had since before the dentist. The real test of the schedule will probably be getting to bed tonight and getting up tomorrow. I'm for shit at getting to sleep when I'm starting a new job AND a semester. Usually get too nervous to sleep. NOT TONIGHT! TONIGHT I MUST SLEEP! (I'm hoping the fact that I got up before the asscrack of dawn today will help me fall asleep at 9pm tonight.)
Must get back to work. Frantically trying to finish some things today.
Present watch: already got one farewell gift. I think there are others. Wheeheee.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

To me mum

Good luck on the first house-hunting foray (but weren't you thinking of building?).

In other news: still tired. Still cranky. I think I am going to try and go to yoga this afternoon in the hopes that it will get me out of this funk.

Made cheddar cheese soup today. It's alright. I'd rather be eating "chewable" food as opposed to drinkable food though.

I might fart around and so some exercises out of this Latin workbook I have. Got to keep going on this whole "Organized '07" kick.


I'm tired of the discomfort from this stupid surgery.
The left corner of my mouth is cracked, I'm going to
have to smooth some salve on it. My jaw still aches.

And I'm fucking tired of popping pills every fucking
half hour it seems. I had no idea that I would have to
take so many pills just for this.

Friday, January 05, 2007

We've Got To Get Up and Organize

So, I just went to CNN and saw this tasty headline:
"Ex-Joint Chiefs of chairman: Military ready for

I'm not even going to bother to read that. My first
reaction from that headline was "OH, gee, NOW they're
ready for THE GAYS(!) because they're running out of
people for suicide/car bomb fodder in Iraq."

Not that I'm cynical or anything. Obviously.


And the other DUH headline: "FBI: Workers saw prisoner
abuse at [Gitmo]." Well, DUH.

In non stupid world news, I made myself a schedule. I
suppose this could be a resolution of sorts. I need to
be more organized. I need to GET TO BED at a decent
time from now on. I would like to get up early and
work out at the gym BEFORE work so I can do other
things (like homework) afterwards. I almost feel
really dorky for making this schedule, but I want to
give it an honest try for a couple of weeks and see if
I can do it.

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Update Two on the Lack of Wisdom Teeth

I snoozed away for a couple hours this afternoon. I'm
feeling pretty good for the most part. The doctor did
a really good job. I didn't want to take the Vicodin;
I wasn't really hurting all that much and the Advil
seemed to be doing fine. I finally decided to take one
Vicodin just so I wouldn't suddenly have blinding pain
an hour or so later and wished I had taken it.

Not feeling too loopy, either, which is better. In
fact, Buddha looks more like the one who took Vicodin;
he's sacked out on the bed, with his head on a pillow.
He's been by me the whole afternoon.

The back of my mouth, obviously, and my jaw is sore,
but not unbearably so. I had some chicken broth with
noodles and carrots/celery a little bit ago. The
veggies were soft enough to smoosh up against my
palate with my tongue.

But man oh man, I have such a craving for pepperoni
pizza right now I want to die.

My arms feel kind of heavy and lethargic for some
reason. I don't quite get that. Oh shit, I think I was
supposed to take some penicillin. I'd better get on
that right now.

My friend Anne called to see how I was doing. She
wants to see my gross teeth that I saved. There's
still schmutz (tissue?) on them a little bit. I should
scrub them up before they go on any world tour. That
is funky shit, with the roots going in opposite
directions. I should take a picture and post it.

Semester textbooks

I just spent the better part of TWO HOURS ordering my
text books online. I had ELEVEN books to buy this time
out. Ouch. My friend Anne called me from the bookstore
to tell me what mine were today. Rule #1: avoid
college bookstore whenever possible as it ridiculously
overpriced compared to any number of online vendors.

I ended up buying from four different vendors:, Alibris, B&N, and Amazon. Even with the
shipping charges at each place, I still came out
better. One book was $15 at B&N, but at Alibris, it
was $5 + 3.49 shipping, so that definitely made up for
the shipping charge and then some.

And one ancient book was SO EXPENSIVE everywhere, but
I got it for $3.30 through a vendor on Amazon. SWEET.
Of course, half of the books I ordered aren't going to
get here until 1/16...I seriously hope those aren't
going to be ones I have to read for 1/17's class! Oh
well. It's not like any of the Jane Austen books are
going to kill me. If need be, I can read the ones I
don't already have at the library. I imagine the
special editions we had to buy are for the commentary
or what not. I can read that shit later.

History of Africa course:
1. Magomero: Portrait of an African Village
2. Slavery and Reform in West Africa: Toward
Emancipation in 19th Century
*both 1 & 2 from Amazon for $28.45
3. Histories of the Hanged: the dirty war in Kenya and
the end of Empire - from B&N for $4.50 awesomeness
4. History of Africa - from for $23.25

Jane Austen Seminar:
1. P&P, A Longman Cultural Edition
2. Northanger Abbey, A Longmann Cultural Edition
3. Persuasion, Norton Critical Edition
4. Mansfield Park, Norton Critical Edition
5. S&S
*1-5 all from B&N $48.56
6. Emma - from Alibris for $8.45
7. Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen - from
for $21.24

Zee grand total of $134.35. Definitely not as bad as
it could have been.

And did anyone else know ISBN numbers are going up to
13 digits? Weird.

ALSO-ALSO: In preparation for my leaving the
department, I have been trying to help people remove
me from their travel arranger, expense report, etc.,
profiles and put in the new temp. I was helping one
guy today, and when I went to look in his favorites
tab to see if he had the damn sites bookmarked so I
wouldn't have to type them in longhand, I saw
something else that was bookmarked.


EWWWWWWWY! Ok, I'm not "EWWWWWWY"ing the subject
itself, just DUDE! it's your WORK COMPUTER. And I
don't need to know that about that particular person.
SKANK to the Y. I was all suave like I didn't notice
anything, and moved on (not like I clicked on it after
all), but holy fucking shit. That could get you in
trouble at work.

Monday, January 01, 2007


One thing I am going to try and do more of is to cook
decent meals. I need to stop eating out and eating

Plus I gotta get some use out of that Joy of Cooking
book - other than the sweets section of it!

Tonight I am making Irish Stew - ya hey! It's still
got an hour to go though.

Later this week I will make Cheddar Cheese Soup.