Friday, March 31, 2006


And now we come to the reason behind the title "Q of P". I haven't done a reading on myself in a long while. I feel like I should be meditating or something more. In a common question that plagues me: will I find love?

1 (self): R 8 Swords
2 (obstacles or current influence): King Cups
3 (the basis/root of the question): R Lovers
4 (past): Knight Cups
5 (potential future): R 9 Cups
6 (future): 3 Wands
7 (viewing the self): R Tower
8 (how others view the querent): 8 Wands
9 (hopes & fears): 10 Swords
10 (the outcome/timing): R Knight Wands

Looking at the spread right out, I've got several things: plenty of cups (emotions) and swords (intellect/decision, and often for me, having that cut myself in two). 8 Swords (R) represents release, freedom, empowerment, overcoming obstacles. I hope so - in a lot of ways lately, I've been thinking what a relief it is I don't have a man to fuck up my life (yet at the same time, really wanting companionship, go figure). Men. More trouble than they're worth. King of Cups: stability, respect, intelligence, wisdom, compassion , generosity, reserved comportment, a deep thinker, liberal attitudes. This could be an aspect of myself - I'd like to think those are all traits that I have. At least, they are all traits I admire and would like in a companion. It could be a male figure that shows up with those traits. The third card needs little explanation. That was right on: conflict, disappointment, unhappiness, poor decisions, the end of a relationship. I'm tired of being stuck in this no-relationship (or no good one) rut. All I've had has sucked. One disappointment after another. Possible future influence is R 9 Cups. The cups of emotion are spilled. Greed, superficiality, shallowness, faults, mistakes, gluttony, excess. Okay, not good things. I'll have to watch out for those. To be sure, it seems like those are problems I have when interacting with males. Future as 3 Wands. Enterprise, nobillity, great purpose, dignity, aspirations. This sounds like my current grad school life. Yes, I have all these aspirations and a hope for purpose. But does that mean I'll just have work and no love? Seventh position, more on the self: R Tower. Suffering, despair, refusal to let go, depression. Ha. All things I've felt in regards to relationships. I hold on to a lot of regret and anger. I always have. Eighth position (how others feel about me as relates to my question) as 8 wands. An interesting one: excitement, bliss, euphoria, rapture, ecstasy, nirvana, bliss. Who feels like that around me? Where is [he] and why isn't he here?! Oh shit...I'm starting to have a thought here...(more later). Ninth position (hopes & fears) as 10 Swords. Jesus Christ on a raft, why do I ALWAYS get this card? Probably because I never change. What a despairing card. Well, at least it's the end of a karmic cycle (except it always seems my ends take so damn long). Grief, sorrow, death, tears, failure, defeat, pain, distress. Oh, ye, who keep me cold company and awake at night... Last position (outcome and timing) as R Knight of Wands. Foolish haste, indecision, disruption, rapid change. Huh. Maybe I should not freak as I was about to in regards to the 8th card. I could still do with some rapid change, though.

8th card: I was starting to think "oh crap - not that escort dude of mine from the wedding I was in". M&K (the newlyweds) seemed to think that they should be setting us up or something. I was like "Ehhh??" I mean, nice guy, but I have both been there and done that with the Wisconsin boytoys. And it was a bust. Another reading? Perhaps.

I'll have to keep my Guides M&G (wouldn't that be an interesting post) in mind for inspiration...

*Wikipedia: "M is also said to be the patron saint of loners and those who find themselves oppressed." No freaking wonder.


I am really quite a plan freak when it comes to tours. I wasn't so worried about having a plan during my Christmas trip to the UK. I wasn't going to too many different places and I knew I'd be hanging out at Lippy's for a lot of it.

Not so on the August trip. A and I have a limited amount of time (could never have enough time)and a lot of places to see. This means power planning. Strangely, I excel at this. Must be from those previous trips six years ago where I packed a ridiculous number of things into small timeframes...

Besides which, it's still summer when we're going and hostels are going to be booked. I wasn't planning on doing this, but when I started looking at hostels in Dublin last night, I flipped out. In the midst of my looking at one place, the room I would have taken was booked. There were only like three properties that I was considering, and they were all filling up. I decided the hell with it and I paid the 10% on the Avalon House. I didn't want to have to worry about what craphole we'd be stuck with if we just showed up on a doorstep. I hope A doesn't mind. It didn't sound like she did when we were talking about the trip at our lunch on Thursday. (Woo - Cafe Pyranees = good!)

This probably means I should do the Edinburgh hostel ASAP as well...guh.

Prices don't look too bad so far. Much better than I thought it would be. I have all of that stuff laid out on a spreadsheet and am checking it off as we pay for the different items.

Here's the plan:

8/30 Flight out
8/31 Arrive Dublin 8:30am - check in to Avalon House Hostel. Tool around Dublin.
9/01 Take the Western Rocker Ireland Tour (8:15a). Dublin - Doolin.
9/02 Day 2 of WRIT. Doolin - Killarney.
9/03 Day 3 of WRIT. Killarney - Dublin. (ret 5:30p). Check back in to Avalon House
Hostel. Free night.
9/04 Dublin (Free day, plenty of things to do and see!)
9/05 Fly to Edinburgh, Aer Lingus EI254 @ 1:20pm, arr 2:20pm. Still need to
find hostel in Edinburgh
Free night in Edinburgh.
9/06 Skye High 3 Day Tour (8:15a).
9/07 Day 2 Skye High
9/08 Day 3 Skye High. (ret 5:30p) Fly to London Heathrow @ 8:45pm Need to
purchase flight
Free night in London.
9/09 London/Day Trip to visit Lippy (?)
9/10 London
9/11 London
9/12 Flight back home

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Loneliness is Bad for You

Gee, thanks for the info.

As if I couldn't figure that out for myself...

Monday, March 27, 2006


A new person has been installed in the row behind me at work. Someone made the very great mistake of not getting them voicemail.

THUS, the damn phone rings and rings and rings....and rings some more until the idiot on the other end finally figures out that "hey, there's no voice mail!" and hangs up.

After going through several instances of this, progressing rapidly towards bat-shit-crazy stage, I got up and tried to "fix" the phone. I could not. I went to that group's admin and asked for them to fix it.

The admin is good people, so it's being taken care of. But really, I did go over to her and say "Please? Because I'm about to [whisper]go bat-shit-crazy![whisper]"

Saturday, March 25, 2006


I'm going to sound corny saying this, but no matter. Ever have one of those places you travel to, and from then on, it's someplace you're always wanting to get back to? Because it feels like home, too? Sometimes even more so than the place you were born in?

That's what the UK feels like to me. I've had public television on and Manor House was on - an Edwardian period reconstruction set in England - and now Monarch of the Glen is on. All I need is to see some Ballykissangel and that'll be it. I can hardly stand it. I was feeling very morose watching Manor House.

I wish I could just go to England and stay. Maybe through teaching, but who knows? I'm starting to wonder if I'll even teach, but that's a whole other story.

In other things:

Have had a Marriott hotel room on reserve for London, but am having serious misgivings about the money. It would be much easier to save up the money for lodging if Anne and I just stayed in a youth hostel. I've got to find out if the Kensington Hostel has availability. It would cost HALF as much as Marriott. I really can't justify spending so much on a hotel room when I'd rather have the money to spend on things to do.

I'll just here and drink my Tesco's Blackcurrant Tea and ponder...

Friday, March 24, 2006

'Round the World

Most excellent!

When I was in undergrad, I did quite a lot of traveling. I did an intensive one month (or was it two?) ethnographic research program in the Basque Country the summer after my sophomore year (interestingly enough, ETA has just announced a permanent cease-fire - wow!). Senior year, I studied at Trinity College in Carmarthen, Wales during the fall. That was the best semester of my life. We got to travel all over Wales, obviously, spent a week going across Ireland, and there were always frequent trips to London. I even went to Scotland for a little bit. After graduation, I spent the summer of 99 doing a work exchange program through CIEE in Dublin, Ireland. Yes, that was the life. If I could have tossed my US citizenship and become an Irish national, I damn well would have.

But then it all stopped. I came back and I got bogged down. The passport got dusty.

I didn't travel for practically 7 years. I didn't go international until December 2005. I finally got back to one of my favoritest places: England! I visited with Lippy (the best hostess, ever) and got round to as many places as possible. I was determined for it not to take another six years for me to get back.

Damn straight! My friend Anne (who went to London for the first time two weeks before I went in December) and I made plans to go back this year. Since coming back in January, I stopped spending all my money at Starbucks and saved it with the goal of using it for a trip. Can you believe I saved $300 already!? Gee, let me think: cup a coffee OR trip to Europe? TRIP TO EUROPE!

Anne and I investigated flight prices and came up with an itinerary. Today, we bought our tickets to go! I am SOO excited. We were hoping to go on Aer Lingus, but the prices went up, so we settled with American. It was about $668, multi-city - not too shabby given it's still high-season, and not to mention I had nearly half of it just from the Starbucks money I'd saved. We're flying in to Dublin and doing a tour there for a few days since Anne's never been to Ireland. Then we're hoping to fly to Edinburgh, do a Scottish tour (my choice), and then fly down to London and spend the rest of our time there and in the surrounding area, and fly back to Chicago from there. August 30-September 12. I'm totally missing a bunch of classes, but I don't give a fuck. Hopefully, I will get to catch up with Lippy either in London or in her area for a daytrip.

I can't wait. I'm sure the time will fly, though - especially since I need to save up money for it! Anne and I are going to try and buy portions of the trip (like our tours) as we have the money, so that most of our trip will be paid upfront before we leave.

Still waiting for my passport to show up. I had to get it renewed. I sent it in nearly a month ago. My check's been cleared for payment at least TWO WEEKS. Send it back, government fuckwads!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The First

And here we are with the first post. I don't know that this will be an exodus from LJ-land, but I would have to agree with others that the stuff I blog there tends to be less meaningful and more idiot-spam in nature. I'd like to think I could blog better here, but we'll see.