Wednesday, April 30, 2008

More Yarn

So, this skirt I would really love to make from the current issues of Interweave Knits magazine calls for Classic Elite "Interlude" yarn (a linen/silk blend). THE YARN ALONE IS OVER $300!
Fuck that shit!
I'm on the hunt for a subtitute yarn. I love the interwebs.
Elann's Callista might be it.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Stupid w/ a Cherry on Top

I just caught one of my students cheating/plagiarizing today. Last week, I gave an essay quiz over Song of Solomon. Three prompts, choose ONE. They could even USE THEIR BOOKS and any notes they took themselves. The top of the sheet clearly stated that Spark Notes or other outside material was NOT allowed.

So, Idiot Student X, is often out of class and is more concerned about making his baseball practices on time than school work. He was gone from class the day of the quiz. Standard practice at Dwight* H.S. is to place those students' tests in the testing center for them to make up, which I did. I picked up some that were taken, including X's.

EPIC FAIL. He can't even get answers right when CHEATING. The first thing I noticed was he had basic data wrong - INEXCUSABLE given it was an open-book/note quiz. And then...his writing style completely changed and I threw down my marking pen in disgust. He had basically copied down verbatim some sections from Spark Notes regarding cases of magical realism in the text. I didn't even need to Google it to know as I HAD READ THE SPARK NOTES PRIOR TO STARTING THE BOOK IN CLASS. Still, I googled some phrases and BINGO. Spark Notes.

I printed off the corresponding pages and highlighted all the similarities and then put a copy in his advisor's box (left that dude a VM, too). Kid gets a big, fat ZERO. Oh, and that drops him down to an F overall in the class, too, which means precious can't play baseball as he'll be on academic ineligibility.

Cry me a fucking river, kid.

1) get your data right so you don't look completely inept at everything, including cheating
2) your teachers know all about the internets and spark notes
3) when you don't fucking over ANYTHING intelligent in class and suddenly come off like Einstein, IT THROWS A RED FLAG, moron

And THEN....THEN! In class today, he had the fucking gall to tell me that 1) he took the test and 2) his essay was OMG, so AWESOME.

I had to restrain myself. I looked at him and went, "Yeah." He kept on going on about his awesomeness. I was like, "Yeah, that's something we'll need to discuss" in the displeased teacher tone. That sobered him up. He wanted to talk right then and there and I was like "No, I am not getting into it now. You need to see me after class."

"I can't." (Baseball, which again, he WON'T be playing once his coach gets his academic report.)

I shrug my shoulders. "Well, then, you're going to have to see me some time." Supposedly, he will try to see me tomorrow.

Of course, by then his advisor will have already talked to him. I also left another VM telling his advisor about how low his grade dropped as a result. I probably should have called the parents this afternoon, but I forgot. I'll do that tomorrow.


More than that, if you ARE going to cheat, try not to get caught, genius. Do NOT try to pull some cheap, tawdy two-bit crap over on me. How flippin' stupid do you think I am? That's what offends me the most: thinking I am so stupid that I won't catch your shit.

EDIT: He's a fucking team MANAGER. He doesn't even PLAY. *smacks forehead*

* Not school's actual name, for OBVIOUS REASONS

Those Myths About Girls Locked Away in Towers...

This is so disturbing, I don't even know where to start.
That sick, sick, SICK man in Austria? ADMITTED to holding his own daughter captive for over two decades and fathering children upon her.
How does his wife "not know"? Whatever.
As for him? Death would seriously be too good for him. He should be forced to suffer what his daughter did. Except he probably doesn't have another two decades in him; he's already in his 70s.
Just. Depraved. Grossly depraved.

Saturday, April 26, 2008


Finally getting started on a baby project for my friend, Mo, who recently had her baby. I told her, way back in the early fall, that I'd make her something. I never had time what with student teaching.
Picked up a couple skeins of LBY Cupcake in Pistachio - cute! Very simple pattern for a baby hoodie. I've got it started up. I've got to go back to Michael's tomorrow to pick up a couple more skeins - it calls for four.
So, working on three things right now:
1) my skirt
2) baby hoodie
3) tube top for niece
And I really want to make this hemp yarn shopping bag.

Friday, April 25, 2008

An Honest Assessment of One's Self

There's a reason I could never be in special education. (I mean old school "special", by that, just for clarification's purpose.)
I suck around differently abled people. Honestly, I do. I'm a very "I need my S P A C E!" sort of person a lot of the time, and well, bless their hearts, a lot of these people are friendly and don't understand that. It's not their fault of course, but it really makes me uncomfortable.
My normal reaction is to tell someone to fuck the hell off, but for obvious reasons, I can't exactly do that.
I'm at Starbucks and this guy just walks up to me while I'm sitting, with my headphones on, and tells me to enjoy my lunch. And he's just staring at me.
I was like "Ok. Thanks."
What I really wanted to do was not kosher.
That's all.
I suck. I fail at humanity.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hysterical (politics)

God, I know I said I wasn't going to look at politics. I lied.
This is just too hysterical.
Look at the decision tree. I shall refrain from making further comment.

Monday, April 21, 2008


OMG. I desperately, desperately need to take a nap. I pulled my usual idiot move of staying up far too late on Sunday. I am ready to fall over.

I have to take a nap before classes this afternoon or I am going to pass out.


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dipped in Shit

I smell like shit.

And I DO mean that LITERALLY.

I ran to Home Depot and grabbed a few herbs and lettuces (surprising, that) to plant, along with a bag of organic garden soil. Oh yeah. That soil was farm fresh. The animals must have pooped into that bag this morning. YUCK!

I smell like I rolled around in my cats' litterbox. Oh god. I have to shower now.

In other Cub News, a hysterical conversation during the gameday post about the idiot girl yesterday going on about Ronnie Cedeno. We're all like "RONNIE CEDENO? Come on, pick someone better to go crazy over." I've been thinking now, to each their own. Ronnie isn't horrible looking. And lately he's been pretty damn awesome in the game. The whole idiot factor is more that this girl was just creaming her panties and totally ignoring the game. I have my favorites (hello, DeRosa) and so do most of the girls in the Cubs community.

To the credit of all the girls I wind up talking to in the Cubs community, we seem to be able to appreciate the GAME and talk knowledgeably about the it first and foremost, while also being able to appreciate a fine piece of baseball ass. Multi-tasking if you will.

Yesterday's dumbass girl failed because she appeared to just not even focus on the game unless it dealt with Ronnie.

So to all the Cubs gals on my flist - props for being SMART as well as, shall we say, being hot for baseball babes.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Need Help: Anyone know where I can download...

eps of Billie Piper's "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"? I found one place, but I think some of them are broken.
I saw half of one episode. *blinks* VERY VERY odd to see Billie as Bad Belle after having known her as Sweet Rose. Damn, girl!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


Oooh, so evil. Stopped at the Gap at Northbrook to try and exchange a light sweater I'd bought (the neck seam had a hole). Noticed that they are ZOMG! getting a LUSH in at Northbrook! Even closer to me than Woodfield!
Didn't have my sweater at that Gap. Did have it at the Hubbard Woods store. So I stopped there on my way to school. Came in a full 20 minutes later than I normally do - oops! bad! - and missed a student who came to see me. Shitastic.
Open position for English teacher at this school just posted. Gotta apply. Probably will be one of HUNDREDS, though.
Gotta jet.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Afternoon schedule

Late entry day at school today. My classes don't start until 2:20. I managed to drive down a little early. I was parked on a side-street by 12:20. I was just exhausted, so I set my alarm on my mobile and took a catnap for 30 minutes. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't be functioning right now.
Gah. I went to bed at NINE pm last night! Seriously. And I still had trouble waking up at 6:30. I wish I was doing all one thing (preferably teaching!) instead of this split business shit.
I have no idea what I am doing in class today. Uh-oh...time to extemporaneous speak...I really really wish I could do more history. It would be awesome to bring in this Jim Crow History website from PBS.

Monday, April 07, 2008


It's supposed to be 43 with rain/snow showers on Sunday - the day of the Race to Wrigley. I AM GOING TO FREEZE MY ASS OFF.

Ugh, Monday Again

I had food this morning. Yay. About the most solid thing I ate yesterday was some chicken broth with carrots and noodles in it. I just did not feel like eating. I was seriously NOT in a good place, gastro-intestinally speaking, yesterday. Dehydrated as heck.
This morning, I had oatmeal, a banana and milk from the cafeteria. I don't usually nom on bananas, but I figured the potassium and the mighty banana-power would be good at getting my insides normal again.
So far, so good.
Still freaking exhausted. I swear I closed my eyes last night, opened them a second later and it was already 5:30am. UGH.
Looking forward to getting out of work here in a bit, and heading on down to the school. I may go to NEIU on Tuesday to sit in on a seminar with my old supervisor and my friend Anne. They like to bring back graduated students on occasion to give people going through student teaching the real scoop. (Oh, and Cubs game starts at 12:30 so I can hear the beginning on my way down.)
Speaking of Anne - I seriously have to get that girl back. She was WAAAAY too nice to me this weekend and picked up my bar tab (not that I went all out, because of my stomach feeling iffy, but still!) saying that I needed to "save up so I can move the hell out of my mom's place". We went out with K and her now-fiancee. A close friend of her fiancee came along with his wife. Boy, those two were a mess drunk. The girl was nice sober, but she was the most annoying fuck when she was drunk. She wanted to stay out and party and her husband wanted to go home. So they argued. And yelled at each other. And she generally made an ass of herself. Anne tried to keep her corralled, nevermind the fact that Anne has known this girl exactly as long as I have - which is to say a few hours! DRAMA-QUEEN. I would periodically look over at Anne and K with my eyebrows raised in a "What the FUCK is this girl's deal?" manner. Said girl also 26, with husband 35/36. Which might explain the different "I want to party" vs "go home!" mentality...
The weather continues to hold, although we may get thunderstorms soon. Every day that the sun is shining and it's over 55 degrees feels...fantaaaaastic.
I got something from Ravinia in the mail yesterday. DUDE. They have Robert Plant/Allison Kraus coming in! And Feist! Those are going to sell out...

Sunday, April 06, 2008


Partners in Crime
The ending was AWESOME!!!!
And the grandpa was hysterical. HA HA HA

Friday, April 04, 2008


Haven't been making entries as of late. I just started teaching again this week. Dude, I am exhausted! I am so happy to get out of the office early so I can do something that actually has MEANING.
I was a little frazzled yesterday though. I teach two sections of American Literature to juniors. Big kids. THEY FUCKING SPAZ over the stupidest things. I'm trying to get them to do a fishbowl discussion activity that my freshmen at the catholic school did with NO problem. We had a demo yesterday, and god help me if they continue to go like that one did. Ay ay ay. Come on, people, FRESHMEN did this activity very well. I THINK juniors should be able to do it.
My 9th period did a better demo than the 8th which kind of shocked me, since 9th is when I have more "jokers". The 8th period, unfortunately, has one female student in particular who just speaks all the damn time and monopolizes conversation. I can tell she drives one male student across the room absolutely nuts by this. *shakes head* I had to remind her she was supposed to let the inner group, the fishes, talk yesterday. This student simultaneously acts like she knows everything, while still having to ask a million questions about the process. It's like if you'd let me finish EXPLAINING and perhaps watch the demo, maybe your questions could be answered. Oy.
Anyway, we're doing Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon and there is certainly plenty of fodder for discussion in it! Oh my god, the book is chock full of imagery and seemingly "insignificant" details which come back later to bite you in the ass. I have to confess, I started out HATING the novel, but now I absolutely love it. As I reread each chapter in preparation for the day's activity, I'm just amazed by details that pop out.
For instance, while the book is about a fictional family, Morrison also sticks in a lot of historical detail: 30s Harlem Renaissance, Great Depression, WWII (Tuskegee airmen), etc. One incident that is mentioned in Chapter 3 (and really serves as a huge impetus for one character) is the Emmett Till murder. Hot DAMN. I had to go look up pictures of Emmett Till; bringing those to class. That was a huge HUGE catalyst for the civil rights movement. Those pictures made people wake up.
I'm thinking I might really need to be either a history teacher now, or focus on African American experiences/literature because it is suddenly 10 kinds of fascinating for me. Especially in the whitest-of-the-white school I'm at right now. These kids seriously have NO IDEA how much this stuff still resonates in society. The other day I was trying to explain how even within the black community, the shade of your skin is still a topic of discussion and intense questioning. They were all like "wuuuuuuh?" HELLO? Presidential election? Barack Obama? People saying he's "not black enough" or "too black"? WHICH IS IT?
And then is the anniversary of MLK Jr's assassination. Wow. I started reading some of the anniversary coverage of it. I had kind of forgotten about how Jesse Jackson Jr was there when it happened.

I got to thinking about Till, MLK Jr..and how we're now living in a time where we actually have a viable candidate of color. One who may actually, I hope, win it. Could you imagine? The 60s weren't a long time ago. It only seems like it, but when you think of all the pain and the trouble people have suffered through to get to today? (Are still suffering?) Baby steps in history. Seriously, I would absolutely cry during the inauguration ceremony. I would so go if Barack wins it. I don't care how nasty cold and crowded it would be, that would just be something I'd have to go experience.