Well, that was interesting :Harry Potter

*gazes bleary eyed at world*

It took me a bloody hour to get the book last night at B&N. An hour in which it was very hot, because the mall turns down the power on the A/C to conserve energry. Bleh!

I told myself I was only going to read a chapter or two, then go to bed. Ha. I wound up crawling into bed and reading the whole damn thing (nearly 800 pages) from 1:30 to 7:30am. People, there is a reason I don't pull all nighters: it's because it's goddamn fucking wrong seeing sunset in complete reverse (utter darkness, to birds screaming their heads off and the sun up).

It was a good book, I have to say. I was preparing myself to be disappointed. Reading a muchly hyped book like this: well, damn, it's hard to live up the hype. I mean, yes, there were some points I was reading thinking "OH COME ON! TOO TRANSPARENT!", but then Rowling pulled a quick one or two that left me reeling.

Good stuff. I went to bed after finishing. Woke up in time to watch the Cubs lose, damn it all. I think I'm going to go to the gym.

Royal Mail releases Harry Potter stamps - Yahoo! News

Royal Mail releases Harry Potter stamps - Yahoo! News

MUUUUUUM! Will you get me a set? Pweeeease?

Where have I been?

I know I'm late to the game, but DAMN. David Tenant? Verrrry attractive. Yeow. I'm trying to get caught up on the Dr. Who stuff.

Things

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)

You may wish that you didn't have so many things to do, but your life could settle down a bit after tomorrow's New Moon. Don't wait until you've hit the wall, for if you don't pull back soon, you could crash from sheer exhaustion. Start applying the brakes gently by getting some much-needed rest and relaxation.

No shit. Somehow I wound up with a really, really bad headache yesterday evening while coming home from Borders. It was so bad, I was crying in the car and I wanted to throw up. It felt like someone was taking a sledghammer to the top left of my skull.

I was supposed to go to Kundalini Yoga and another regular yoga class this morning, but just couldn't. My body was saying "hell, no, you are staying in bed."

Sucky.

Serendipitous

Main Entry: ser·en·dip·i·tous
Pronunciation: "ser-&n-'di-p&-t&s
Function: adjective
: obtained or characterized by serendipity
- ser·en·dip·i·tous·ly adverb

Main Entry: ser·en·dip·i·ty
Pronunciation: -'di-p&-tE
Function: noun
Etymology: from its possession by the heroes of the Persian fairy tale The Three Princes of Serendip
: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for; also : an instance of this

On this, my second day off work, I am at the Summit Ice Cream and Coffee Shop in L'ville. Free wi-fi and all that. I meant to work on my portfolio for school, then do some leisure reading. I also stuffed a ball of yarn and a pair of knitting needles into my bag. Still trying to learn how to knit.

Shortly after I sit down and get situated at a table, I happen to look over at the table next to me full of ladies. They're knitting. I shut my laptop and ask if I can bother them...score!!

I just spent the past two hours knitting with the nicest ladies: Pat, Nancy, Inge, Yuki, and another woman whose name I cannot remember. This last one is the one who showed me how to finally get a purl stitch right. HAL-LE-FREAKING-LUJAH, I can finally do a damn purl stitch. Jesus, it's ridiculously easy to me now. I was trying to get the stitch off the needles completely ass-backwards before, no wonder I was so frustrated. Learning how to do purl stitch now makes me do my regular stitch better, too. I'm going to learn those cables soon.

Also, new store to check out: Three Bags Full in Northbrook.

It just sucks because these ladies meet every week Tuesday, from 1-3. I work.
Waaaah!!

Also funny: half of these ladies (who, by all accounts, can knit me into circles) are like "crochet? oh, god, I can't crochet!" when I told them I can crochet. Hysterical. Crocheting is so much easier - it's just one little hook compared to TWO needles. Much easier to correct if you screw up a stitch, too. If you fuck up knitting, you really fuck up.

Well, looks like I'll have to work on my portfolio tomorrow. I gotta get going home and stuff before going to my dad's onight.

Hot

Jesus, it is freaking hot outside. I woke up at 7am
and puttered about for a bit (off work this week). I'm
making a pineapple upside down cake for my dad's
birthday today, and figured it would be better to bake
it BEFORE it got crazy hot in the middle of the day.

I biked to the store to get a couple items I needed
and I was already sweating in my clothes.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

YES YES YES YES YES YEEEEEEES!

I just did a tripod headstand! Not once, but TWICE!

YESSSSSS!!!!

I feel like I can do just about anything!

This gives you a bit of an idea.

And I think I understand better from doing this how I
should get into Crow Pose.

Sweet! I went to Mary's class Saturday morning and it
was the first time I sincerely tried to get into
tripod. Well, make that the first time I felt like I
actually had a shot. It helped that I know how to do a
regular headstand now. I didn't make it then, but I
started fooling around with it today.

I started by going into widelegged forward bend. So my
forehead is down on the ground, and my hands are
placed so that there is a triangle between them and
my head (the tripod). And just like Mary was telling
me Saturday, I slowly started pushing more into my
hands...hips/butt slowly start moving back. Basically,
the more you push into your hands, the more you legs
will just float up.

IT FUCKING WORKED! *squeals*

I couldn't believe it! My legs floated right up in the
perfect position (not that I could see it, but I could
feel it). (Some teach it like that photo link does,
where you balance your knees on arms first - that
would definitely get me closer to crow pose. I'll have
to try that as well.) I huffed my breath a little bit
because I wanted to laugh because OMG I was doing it.

I came down out of the pose, crouched down, and pumped
my fists... YES!!

Now...if I could just do a backbend. Must strengthen
lower back.

Madonna Whore Complex...it's complex

I swear I was behind every fundy right-winger out there on the drive home today. I'm seeing a lot of cars with this bumper sticker that says "God is Real!" in this cheery (and disturbing cursive font) for a local church called The Chapel. I'm going to call The Chapel the McChurch (or franchised church) of northern Illinois. They have little franchises up all over the place. I get this weird Stepford/cult vibe from it all.

AND THEN...there was the big SUV. It was plastered with four or five Jesusy bumperstickers and one of those metal fish insignias. One of the bumper stickers said something along the lines of "Jesus and the apostles didn't preach 'I'm Ok, you're Ok'". Oh, so one of those real "Jesus is in MY CLUB ONLY" types of people. Probably likes Jerry Falwell, too.

Here's the kicker: they (or presumably she) had a vanity license plate that read PRTYWMN (i.e., PRETTY WOMAN).

This stupid idiot does know that the movie was about a whore, right?

Once again, supplying evidence that the most uptight religious fundies not-so-secretly harbor desires to be whores and take it up the behind.

People, get over it. Just admit you like to get fucked every now and then. It would make the world a better place.

Special Day

And a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to LIPPY! Hope you live it up this weekend!

New things...

I've added a link to my public photos on shutterfly. HOWEVER, I do not have the album updated. I just did a test album. So, don't bother yet (for anyone who is interested).

Second, to a new reader who may find this interesting: listen live to Jazz on College of DuPage WDCB.org. If I listen to the radio on the way in to work, it's usually this. Most of the stations hardly play music anymore, and are filled with annoying talking DJs. At least this station keeps me calm before going into work.

Their morning guy, John Burnett (who I think is on vacation this week), is a Brit ex-pat. I don't think this is strictly your definition of jazz (has new stuff), but hey. Coincidence.

*maniacal laughter* SCORE!

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* fucking (8x)
* hell (6x)
* shit (5x)
* fuck (3x)
* ass (2x)
* dick (1x)

So without further ado: fucking hell shit fuck ass dick awaaaaaay!

oh

dear god, my tolerance is so weak today.

one bottle of surprisingly strong heffeweisen, and glass of sangria later...
I'm about as loose as jell-o.

i made pizza. from scratch. mama tucci's recipe. i fucked it up. desperately needed salt in the crust. i want to weep. nothing is more disastrous than a fucked up pizza. pizza, my friends, is manna from heaven, and to profane the pizza gods with a poorly executed pizza pie is sacrilege. (and please, don't let anyone fool you with that stupid saying how "pizza is like sex, even bad pizza is still pizza". no. bad pizza and bad sex are just plain bad. if you can't get the good stuff, just abstain, masturbate....or something. i don't know.)

you know, i think i am going to declare my own new religion of pizza pie-dom.

i am a purist. i stick to sausage (or sassage, if you want to put in your chicago accent) and/or pepperoni. cheese. sauce. deep dish.

da bears, da cubs, da bulls.

fuck that new york style pizza shit. east coast bastards.

best pizza? still Bill's Pub. 847 566 5380. Since 1957 baby. Long live peanuts on the floor and stuffed animals and fish on the walls!

(and those of you not from around here, which is pretty much everyone, will not have a fucking clue what I'm blathering on about.)

must nap. may go watch fireworks later.

It's Friends of Kilroy Carnival Time!!

EDIT (RECAP): WEDNESDAY JULY 4TH.

Welcome! Welcome! Step right up and take a hop on the fun ride! It's Kilroy Carnival Time!

Thanks to all for submitting entries and I hope everyone enjoys reading! Without further ado:

LJP's blog "SAVESAVESAVE" (sounds like what I do while writing term papers) is described as being full of "Amusing shopping adventures, holiday stories, my ebay successes and disasters".

We have a poetess, Sara, who submitted her entry in poem-form practically. I think I'll just put in what she typed!
(1) Sara
(2) The Shores of My Dreams
(3) Twisted
(4) Drift into the corners of mind and see the unseen. Read my soul in my poetry
(5) She Writes Poetry

Miss Lucky Mommy describes her blog, Mr. Wonderful Does it Again, as "very crass, in your face, cut throat response to the day to day trials of domestic partnership and the joy of motherhood." I'm itching to read it it now!! Go check out her post And they're off!
http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
Deb over at Girls Want Porn (does that perk you up yet?) has poetry, musings and other things that girls really think about. Check out What's A Beautiful Body Cost?

Marion talks about Respect in the Garden in her blog, The Herbal Connection: "I’m just another traveler on the road of Life. I write about some of my experiences, musings, and everyday miracles on my blog."

Tickers' "He's Got to Be a Bit Gay", is the mostly, upbeat thoughts and
experiences of a middle aged Anglo/Scottish, steelworker, living in the South Wales
valleys. My apparent Englishness is probably enough to have me perceved
as a bit gay, around here. Check out his Village Idiot post.

Mistress Regina snaps the whip over at Tales of Ladies, Goddesses and Bitches, an erotica blog that encourages free expression; working writers, aspiring writers and those who write for fun are welcomed. Prudes are dismissed. Get to it and read The Chosen One.

Jeremy Wilcox continues to expose the naked Emperor Chimp over at Religion, Politics, and the Great Pumpkin in his entry "Our Long National Nightmare of Peace".

Anthony over at The Lives and Times is the story of a person who has stepped to the edge and decided that life is worth living. Exploring the lives and times of a 90-year-old man a bit past the midway point in the journey. Check out what's currently showing in the gallery!

Madeleine Begun Kane gives us twice the fun with a "motor boarding" post at Mad Kane's Humor Blog and a GOP Piety Parody Song (love it already) at Mad Kane's Political Madness blog.

Mother of Invention's Spilling Out is "all my thoughts, inner and outer, on just about anything! Poetry, short stories, anecdotes about teaching,music, cats,relationships. A garage sale, something for everyone!" Check out Look To Our Inukshuks.

Sheila throws in the Alabama Kitchen Sink and says "I'm With You Mary". She was in Alabama, but now Missouri. She writes about politics, family, media, art and anything else she damned well wants to. She claims not to have mastered the brief thing, yet. >:)

Brian submits poetry from his Brief Poetry blog.

Shakir Hasnain gives us a triple play with The Late Contortionist, Pericardial Art and then I Have Ceased to Exist (only metaphorically, since the blogging is quite prolific!).

A mysterious entry from "Tea" is found at secret fantasy.

And last but certainly not least, we have The Wandering Author submitting "Hubris" from his collection of fiction, random thoughts and the occasional poem.

I neglected to put in the sponsor: Frequently For Your Success is the Sponsor of the Gonzo Blog Carnival Series. Check out Finding and Maintaining Balance in Life.

FURIOUS!

So, CHIMP BUSH COMMUTES SCOOTER LIBBY'S SENTENCE.

IT PAYS TO BE A PRESIDENTIAL GOP CROOK.

FUCK BUSH! I FUCKING HATE HIM!!

People are stupid

These morons who tried to bomb London/Glasgow airport get stupider by the nanosecond, I tell you.

One of the roasted (this guy, maybe?) is a doctor and worked at the hospital he is currently being treated at? WTF?

But, HELL-OOOO law enforcement eye candy. Is it the uniform? That guy to the back could handcuff me anyday.

Cards

Dude. Lippy's card reading makes me laugh. It is SO. TYPICAL. of her outlook.

The Universe. She knows. And don't you forget about it! (And I haven't even drunk any wine yet!)

Thanks everyone

The time to submit an entry to the Carnival has passed! I am a busy bee getting the post compiled. And I am also sweating, trying to clean up around the house. Ugh.

Random Thing: My cucumbers are growing prolifically incognito! Holy crap! I turned aside the vines (which are so Mr. Grabby-Hands, latching on to whatever is in their way), and discovered one, two, THREE fat little cucumbers! I practically shrieked. Little dudes are prickly, too.

I ate one yesterday sliced, with a sprinkling of salt. Deeeeeelicious! There is something to be said for eating a vegetable which you yourself plucked from the vine five minutes ago!

Now if only more of my tomato plants were thriving. I'm getting disappointing results...

Keep me

...it is a good thing I don't have a few hundred dollars to blow right now (or ever, really). I have tattoos on the brain like no one's business.

Besides the one I've been thinking of getting for a long time (the image from the Strength card in the Tarot of Prague deck), I also want something British-y and quite possibly, several other things.

People, I cannot look like a walking tattoo parlour. Someone talk some sense into me.

Speaking of the Brits: I am so very VERY glad no one has been killed or injured in the past couple days. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Jesus. I just don't get these fucked up Islamic freakshows. You know, if blowing yourself up to see the 72 so-called virgins (don't you think they're a little used by now? OR hell, wouldn't you rather have someone experienced? why not 72 hookers?) in your version of Valhalla or whatever-the-fuck is so GRAND, then why the hell aren't your little grand-Poobahs blowing themselves up or lighting themselves up like a Roman Candle?

The answer, you dumbasses, is because they brainwash you stupid idiots and because it means more goodies for them in the material world. Yes, I think us Western heathens have shat on you more than once or twice, but your "masters" aren't any better. THEY ARE JUST USING YOU.

So much for Bush and Co. making the world "safer". Four+ years of war with Iraq and we only have more people pissed as hell at us (and with reason in Iraq) and the people stupid enough to ally with Bush.

DEAD IS DEAD. YOU DON'T SEE ANY VIRGINS AFTERWARDS, AND YOU DON'T GET ANY SEX. EAT, DRINK, AND GET YOUR FUCKS IN NOW WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE.

Hugs and Kisses,

The Woman Who Thinks All Religions are Equally STOOPID.

8 Random Facts

I got tagged by Lippy.

 

1. Each player must post these rules first. 2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. 4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

8 Random Facts About Me:

 

1. I double-majored in my undergraduate school by picking up English during my junior year (the other was Western European Civ).

 

2. I lived and worked in Dublin, Ireland (5 Bertram Court, Dublin 8) the summer after graduating college (1999) and it was the best time of my life. I lived in Dublin 8 BEFORE it got to be a hoity toity antiques district (back when it was still "urban renewal").

 

3. I am actually a third child. My mom had a daughter before me, but she had something wrong with her lungs and didn't live beyond a day or two. Her name was Andrea, interestingly enough, and she was born in September of 1971 (I think?). It would have been cool to have a sister.

 

4. I like reading tarot cards; I'm fairly accurate, especially after a glass of wine. No lie. (My newest deck is the Tarot of Prague.)

 

5. I have a tattoo of a bull on my right upper thigh; it's modeled after the bull logo on the Red Bull can.

 

6. My favorite precious "stone" (well, it's not really a stone, per se) is amber.

 

7. I like comics (in particular, Fables by Bill Willingham).

 

8. I enjoy crocheting (and am attempting to learn to knit).

 

Who to Tag: Kilroy, Aly, Sullivan, TWA...

London

All I can say is, thank god that thing didn't go off. I saw the Trocadero sign behind the crime scene in one photo. I know exactly where that is. I shopped there!

It's Another Gonzo Blog Carnival! "Friends of Kilroy"

Forget the once-a-year pre-Lenten Carnvial season. We go year 'round here. It's another Gonzo Blog Carnival: "Friends of Kilroy". Or perhaps it might be Two Degrees of Separation? This time I am hosting! Want to see an overview of previous carnivals? Then go here.


The rules will be straight forward:
-----(-)-> Posts will be accepted from blogs that have link exchanges with The Gonzo Papers or that are linked directly to someone with a link exchange (SUCH AS ME!)
-----(-)-> One post per blog; however many blogs you have.
-----(-)-> Only English language posts will be accepted

CLARIFICATION: Entries accepted until 11:59pm 30 June 2007. Carnival will post on 2 July 2007. So get your posts in! I would love to see some entries from Lippy and Tickersoid, in particular!

Email your entries to queen_of_pentacles [AT] SBCGLOBAL [DOT] NET . Please have your subject line be CARNIVAL. Entries should include (1) your name as you'd like it to appear, (2) name of your blog, (3) the title of your post, (4) BRIEF description of your blog (no more than three lines please), and (5) last but not least, the URL to link to your post.

Randomosity and Purple Exploding Balls

1) Dosages "it's not important". Oh, this is a good one. Tickers, this has got to be right up there with your customer service hoohah. I work at a big Fortune 500 (ooh, I looked and it's actually in the top 100). You know what that means: lots of overhead and the little people are expected to do the work of three people so the company can layoff and "preserve the bottom line".

People, there are some goddamn IJITS where I work. I work with documents all day long. I format various reports so that they're all nice and pretty when they have to go to other "Very Important Places". Because I'm so fucking cool, I also wind up catching contextual and factual errors. There are two sides to what I will call Report A. You have to have both. Our stats people sent through some corrections they wanted implemented. Noooo problem. I got Report A, Part I done. I look at Part II and fucking CRINGE. It seems no matter WHAT I do, me and Part IIs do not get along. To be absolutely correct, it's more that the people who write the Part IIs are book-smart but just common-sense stupid. This Part II, in particular, is run by this one person I am constantly at loggerheads with. Complicating the mix: Part II people and Stats people never talk to each other. *rolls eyes* Because that would make too much sense. I mean, you have to have Stats stuff or the shit don't fly, but it's like the IIs think they can do whatever the hell they want (and they really can't).

I handed off this report to my more experienced co-worker and even she cringed. She brings up the stat correction to the meanie II. Who has a fit, practically, and says "it's not important" and don't put it in. *eyes boggle* WHAT? The thing that needs to be corrected is a dosage.

DOSAGE. Gee, you don't think that a wrong dosage in a report would trip some very big red flags with important agencies? Let's think about this: say you're a guy with a limp dick. You take some Viagra. Granted, I don't know what dosage Viagra is (nor do I care). Let's pretend that the proper dosage is 100 mg. But V's company has a moron who thinks a dosage is unimportant, and therefore it goes to market with a 200 mg dosage. And now thousands of men everywhere have erections lasting 12 hours, their balls turn purple and explode, leaving eunuchs everywhere.

Actually, that sounds fun to me. There are a number of men I'd like to see that happen to. But, I digress.

My point being: SAFETY and....LAWSUIT, much? Ideally, of course, agencies like the FDA wouldn't even let the product go to market because they would catch this in a review. I should also point out that in my current example, we're still very much in the theoretical stages of business and absolutely nowhere even near market (and probably won't be - only one item out of practically hundreds ever makes it to market). But STILL. I'm horrified, as is everyone else in my immediate department. Shit, we're trying to HELP and make sure documents are the best and most accurate they can be. You'd think that would earn a little thanks. But no, people like this IIer are absolutely fucking lazy and moronic. If I were running the show, I'd have their ass canned. It has happened before: falsifying a report has gotten people escorted out of the premises. We're hoping to talk to the next person above in charge of this report. We're confident that this person WILL care very much and make the change go through.

Cause god knows if someone (agency-wise) comes knockin', we're sure as hell not going to cover this idiot's ass.

And did I mention that this idiot also does not wash their hands after going to the bathroom? And we work in health care. Seriously.

2) Can't wait for Lippy to get what I sent.

3) So...tired. Need...vacation.

4) SUBMIT TO MY CARNIVAL IF I'VE LINKED TO YOU. NOW. Kthxbye.

5) My friend was interviewed on Chicago NPR (national public radio) recently in regards to these students that she's tutoring. I mentioned the situation in a recent post about racism (I believe it was titled something like Religion for the Massa'). She is tres cool. Click on the link
and look for "Chicago Matters". She just emailed me (and some others) about maybe knitting/crocheting hats and scarves for these fifteen kids for winter. I'm going to try and make at least one set.

P.S. I love Mad Stephen. Braveheart is on right now. Ever since Mel Gibson showed what a crazy fundy wacko drinker he really is, I've been down on his movies. I used to love this movie, despite its historical inaccuracies. I'm sneering at Mel, but god, I still love me some Mad Irish Stephen. That dude is fucking HYSTERICAL. "He wasn't right in the head!" "The Lord says he can get ME out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked!" A HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

TOTALLY! GIRL POWER!

Spice up your life, bitches! Spice Girls are back.

 

ROFL

HOLY SHIT

Oh my god, it's a fucking DELUGE outside. Steve
Carrell, where are you and your Morgan Freeman/God
inspired ark?

I mean, yes, glad that it's raining; we desperately
need it, but shiiiiiiit.

I just got to school in Chicago, parked in the garage
and all hell broke loose. I escorted a pretty man to
the library under my umbrella. We both got soaked on a
side and back. I have flip flops on, so I was
practically falling out of them in the running water.

After I got the guy to the library, I pulled off my
flippies and ran to the fine arts building. I am
positively soaked, my umbrella didn't count for much.
I was yelping and screaming as I ran to the building.

Shit, for that matter, I was yipping and going OH MY
GOD while I was escorting the guy. This big ass
lightning bolt hit not too far away and CRAAAAASH!

*screams some more*

AAAAAARRRRRGHHH!!!!

Edit: Jesus Christ. Campus just flooded. Two computer labs down and water was positively streaming down the stairs in the financial aid office. Lovely. Campus was closed about 4:30pm. Which sucked, becaaaaause...traffic trying to leave was ricockulously bad. IT TOOK ME A FUCKING HOUR TO GO A MILE AWAY FROM CAMPUS. OH MY GOD. I HATED IT. It took me TWO HOURS to get home. *weeps*

What's Shaking

It's time for comfort-video-ing. I've got Jane
Austen's "Persuasion" in the dvd player. I love it. I
was introduced to this production (starring Ciaran
Hinds as Cpt Wentworth) during last semester's Jane
Austen class. Pair this off with Emma Thompson's
"Sense and Sensibility"? Perfect.

Drinking some Pomme Lambic of Lindemann's. Yesss.

I went the Lucky 7 Tattoo Studio in Libertyville on
Friday after work to make some preliminary inquiries
about getting a new tattoo. I've had a bull tattoo
(silhouette of the RedBull Bull) on my right upper
thigh for I don't know how long now. Sometime just
after college (2000 or thereabouts). I've been wanting
to get a new one, but hadn't come up with something
really meaningful that I wanted, until seeing the
Strength card of the Tarot of Prague deck. Check it
out: you can see it on the <a
href=http://www.tarotofprague.com/home.htm>front
page</a> of the website for the tarot deck. It would
just be the woman and the lion.

The woman, Sandy, said it would probably take about
1-1 1/2 hours to do. Looking like a $300 tattoo. The
time and the money didn't shock me, but when she told
me how large I'd need to get it to really get good
detail: 8 inches, or better yet 10, I was like
"oooooof". I like keeping my tattoo(s) under wraps. An
eight inch tattoo...that's a committment. She
recommended my upper thigh, which is fine.

Gotta think about it some more.

I like maple syrup

More (possibly) to be posted later.

 

But wouldn't you all agree that maple syrup has a lovely color (in addition to being sweet and sticky)?

 

*runs off to turn on the cold shower in the back of brain*

EDIT: So, what is this maple syrup diversion you ask? I was trying to think of what would accurately describe the shade of Mr. Lassi's skin. After obsessing for far too long about it, it suddenly hit me: maple syrup. A nice dark maple syrup - not super dark, but dark. Ambery.

Sorta like this:

And a happy birthday...

to the hottest royal out there: Prince William.

 

(Shut the fuck up, yes, I think he's hot!)

MY SEXY BARRETT GOT TRADED?!

WHAT THE FUCK, CUBS?!

Sophomoric

Main Entry: soph·o·mor·ic

Pronunciation: "säf-'mor-ik, -'mär- also "sof- or "sä-f&- or "so-f&-
Function: adjective
1 : conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature <a sophomoric argument>
2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of a sophomore <sophomoric humor>

 

Main Entry: ¹soph·o·more
Pronunciation: 'säf-"mor also 'sof- or 'sä-f&- or 'so-f&-
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Greek sophos wise + mOros foolish
: a student in the second year at college or a 4-year secondary school

 

Cards that should have been rethought (for people who think of all the wrong things, like myself):

 

The other day, whilst perusing Father's Day cards, I saw this one with a drawing on front of a girl leaning, chin in hands, on a table. The inside said, "To my dad, the only man to never give me a headache."

 

I snorted and immediately thought, "Bullshit. MY dad has given me plenty of headaches! What a stupid card." As the card rattled back into its slot, another thought hit me: headaches. Men. Women. When do women tell men, "Not now, I have a headache!" OhdearchristonacrackerYUCK!!! The card went from just being stupid to deeply ooky in about 2 seconds. I stood back from the card rack and looked on horrified before walking away.

 

 

Is it a cow? Or a hermaphrodite?

 

People, know how to classify your animals. Remember the "Barnyard" animated movie (hopefully not, it'll mean you weren't exposed to its outrageous inaccuracies), or even its trailers? A bunch of boy STEERS. Because cows are females, NOT males. If you ever saw the trailer, you'll have perhaps noticed that all the boys HAD UDDERS. WROOooOONG! And worse? The cows running away from some trouble they'd caused, with one of them yelling "Oh, Milk Me!"

 

Yeah, honey, that isn't an udder and that isn't milk.

 

Deux: Formatting a report at work and I caught something on the organ weight tabulations. It was for females, but there were columns AND data for prostrate and testes. Hmmmmm....

 

I went to the study director and was like "Um, follow me, here. [pointed to word female on page, then slowly drew finger to the word 'prostrate'] Did evolution just get seriously weird?" He replies, "Or our drug is REALLY toxic..." Good humor.

 

Yeah, I'd pronounce it that way, too, if my last name were...

 

ASSMANN. This is really a last name of some scientist writing documents in learned medical journals. It made me snark. My (former) boss said "It's actually pronounced 'Ozman'."

 

Whatever. That's ASSMANN, and you and I know it. Funnier, because it was a woman.

 

Another great last name: Boobis.

 

P.S.

 

My squash are growing monstrously. Tomatoes are peeping out.

At work alone

I'm alone at work today (except for my boss). Everyone else is either ill, has a child ill, or is just slagging off.

 

I suppose I could fart to my heart's content in here until my boss comes back...

Cereal and Religion for "Mass'a"

Totally unrelated topics. Just things that have randomly set me off.

 

In one corner, we have everyone's childhood favorite - sugary cereals from Kellogg! When I started watching what kinds of sugars I was eating, most cold cereals were obviously the first to get booted from my diet.  "The Battle Creek, Mich., company avoided a lawsuit threatened by parents and nutrition advocacy groups worried about increasing child obesity. Kellogg intends to formally announce its decision Thursday."

 

You see, most every Kellogg cereal is LOADED with unneccesary sugars. Seriously, all you're eating is fluff, corn, and SUGAR. There is precious little nutritional value in the shit. That's why we all scarf down bowl after bowl - because it doesn't make you feel full. So the whole argument that it's "light, it can't possibly be bad" is shit. You're stuffing yourself full of non-nutritive calories for nothing.

 

Kellogg is supposed to be reformulating their cereals to increase nutrition. Ha. I'll believe it when I see it. They have a handy loophole on the sugar: no more than 12 grams not counting sugar from fruit, dairy and vegetables. I'm confident they'll finangle that to their advantage somehow.

 

NOW, the OTHER CORNER: Winnetka, IL ! Check out the demographics on Wikipedia:

 

"The median income for a household in the village was $167,458, and the median income for a family was $200,000+. Males had a median income of $100,000+ versus $61,513 for females.

 

One of the more conservative suburbs of Chicago, George W. Bush received nearly 60% of the vote in Winnetka (2000 and 2004.)"

 

Winnetka is a classic "Chicago North Shore" community, i.e., RICH and WHITE (96.29%). (And most often stupid Republican.) The homes in this area are RIDICULOUS huge. If you're going to find a minority here, my bet is that said minority is going to either be mowing your lawn or working in your house.

 

Last night after class, I went to dinner with a couple friends. We're all in education. One of them is working in a well-known school in Winnetka. She was hired to work with FOUR kids. That's right. FOUR. Winnetka has the money to do that (whereas a CPS school, most likely, would be like "we don't have money to hire someone to work with 30 kids!"). These kids are refugees (literally, from a refugee camp where they lived on rice and pumpkin for over a year, bad health, no education, the works) from a W. African country. I guess a multifaith initiative in Winnetka sponsored them and they came over. Fifteen of them, four of whom are in the high school and are tutored by my friend.

 

Well, apparently the white fathers of the church/synagogue have gotten sick of the darkies. My friend was telling us how these faithy people have pretty much told the family they need to move out of their rented/sponsored home. The family is pretty much being pushed towards the south side of Chicago. Things that have been said by this group amount to absolute outright racism: "well, they'll be happier there; they'll be around people that look like them, right?" i.e., "they'll be around other black people." AND the worst? "They shouldn't get used to what they can never have." Seriously! My friend has heard A LOT of shit, not only from stupid people in the school, but also from the kids themselves (people have stopped them saying "oh, I donated X$/clothes/whatever for your family at the church - did you get it?"... and they HAVEN'T. The church hasn't given them a damn thing!).  

 

*eyes bug out*

 

WTF?! And this is a charitable multifaith group?! My friends and I are obviously pissed off hearing this. So, not only are they racist fucks, but they're also (apparently) misappropriating donations that people are giving SPECIFICALLY for this family. GOD! It's just mind-blowingly infuriating. There are so many things wrong with this situation.

 

1) So what if they're around other "black" people? I hate to tell you, but oftentimes African-Americans and recently arrived Africans DO NOT get along. Hell-0, two VASTLY different cultures beneath that skin you idiots can't see beyond. Get with the program: do all WHITE people get along - American versus European for instance? Hell no, so why should it be that way if someone is dark skinned?! IDIOTS!

 

2) CHURCHY/organized religion groups once again failing in their mission to love they neighbor. People.Suck.Period.End.

 

3) So much for equality!

 

I seriously just want to choke a bitch down there. To their credit, there are people in the school system ESL program (such as my friend and some co-workers) who are trying their best to be advocates for these kids and protect them. It just seems like they're fighting a losing battle against a group of rich, racist and powerful assholes. These kids have already lived through some horrific shit, now they're upset and worried because they hear stuff like the above. And to top it off, you'll have an idiot administrator waltz in to where the kids are at who talks shit about where they're headed to in Chicago, upsetting the kids, and then just waltzing back out of the room. WTF?! I can't remember which schools my friend mentioned, but suffice it to say they are the very opposite of Winnetka. It's an inner city CPS with no funding, safety concerns, and on the NCLB "failing" list. Yes, those kids are really going to get an education there...

 

Some days I just don't know what to do or think.

 

Props to my friend though. I'm always impressed by what she does.

 

Where did I get such fucking smart (and compassionate to boot) friends? Sometimes I feel horribly inadequate! I just sit here in cyberspace bitching and moaning!

 

Travel

I was watching Samantha Brown on the travel channel last night. She was in Uruguay. Dude, that looks like a cool place to go!

Pineapple Afghan

Lo, it is finally complete. The color is much better in person. It's called "honey". The first shot is a close up of the "pineapple" pattern. This sucker completely covers my bed. It is over five feet long, and it's got to be a good three feet wide. Impressive. And quite, quite snuggly.

toosday

Warm summer months. I think there's something about the onset of summer that drives my sinuses insane. I had pretty bad headaches Sunday and Monday.

I love the warm weather, but not sticky warm weather. The morning and early evening hours are the best; it's before the sun can cook you to a crisp and everything is fresh and calm.

My squash are g r o w i n g! Whee! My tomatoes, however, are causing me some concern. I think I might have needed even bigger pots for them. The roots are growing out the bottoms!

What else is up? At school right now for my 4 o'clock class. I had to get a TB test done today for my fall student teaching. I covered my face with my hand while the nurse stuck me. She was good; I hardly felt a thing. But I am very obviously taking great care NOT to look at my arm. I'll get my arm looked at on Thursday when I come for class that evening. Now all I have to do is pay a ridiculous amount of money for my background check. Have to do that muy pronto. God, I really hate how, as a prospective teacher, you get absolutely stuck with paying for so much shit. I wish it were a tax write off (professional exams, medical tests, background checks, etc...).

Depending on how tired I am after class, I may go for a jog or to the gym. I really do want to finish tucking in the ends of that one afghan (pineapple design, although how the hell those are supposed to look like pineapples is a little beyond me) I just finished. Thing is MASSIVE. Huuuuuuuuge. I will also need to wash it once. God, I hope I don't shrink it or otherwise ruin it. I have the yarn care instructions, obviously, but...

Return of the Hooker

Ha ha -- hooker as in slang for crocheting.

I FINALLY am about to finish one of three afghans I've been working on. I had to go and get the pattern book from the library again. I've got all three panels made and they are now weave-stitched together. I just have to tuck in the loose ends AND do the final edge work around the whole. Thing is fucking MASSIVE. It's got to be close to five feet tall if not more and at least three feet wide. Very snuggly and warm. Which means it will be completely useless until the fall or winter at this point, but oh well.

I should take a picture of it as soon as it's been totally completed. I don't mean to keep it; I'm meaning to give it as a gift. Damn it all, I have gotten attached to the big monster!

Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail - News - Yahoo! TV

Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail - News - Yahoo! TV

It's not faaaaair? Suck my non-existant balls, slut. Throw her mom and dad in jail, too, for thinking they can buy their stupid daughter out of a rightful sentence.

And the sheriff should be fired!

People, I'm so serious - there needs to be a boycott of Hilton properties.

Dude, these pictures are so HAWT.

Tomato craze

I have become crazy about my patio garden. Last night we had bad weather come through the area. There were warnings about heavy winds and golfball sized hail. I grabbed my best potted vegetables and dragged them inside to the laundry room for shelter.

 

Hail missed us.

 

I am nuts - fussing over my plants. If I start singing or playing Mozart for them, please, shove me in a straight jacket.

Unclean

Oh, EWW.

I was watching Medical Mysteries (or ER Mysteries,
something or other) on TLC. Today's started off with
this Orthodox Jewish guy who suddenly started having
grand mal seizures.

The doctors theorized that he had a tapeworm in his
BRAIN (tapeworm GROSS no matter where, but OMG
BRAIN!!) due to bad or improperly cooked pork. But the
kid and his family were all like hell no, we're
Orthodox we don't eat pork.

The mystery goes on...

More and more people in this Orthodox community wind
up showing positive for tapeworm (although no one else
was symptomatic to the degree this guy was) and the
CDC can't figure out WTF is happening until they hit
on something. Many of these Orthodox families employ
housekeepers. Housekeepers that are from third world
countries where tapeworm infestations are still
endemic (often through bad food handling for pork.
Pigs will eat fecal matter...I think I'm going to curb
my pork intake after seeing this...). In particular,
the first family mentioned had had a housekeeper from
Guatemala, but now they had another Latin American.

CDC tests the housekeeper. BINGO. She's got it, as do
many of the other housekeepers (they got over 1800
blood samples from the community).

The nasty? The CDC theorizes that it's these
housekeepers who are acting as disease hosts and that
they are transmitting the tapeworms through the
fecal-oral method. I.E. THEY'RE SHITTING (and the
tapeworm eggs get dispersed in feces) NOT PROPERLY
WASHING THEIR HANDS, AND THEN PREPARING FOOD FOR THEIR
EMPLOYERS! Food which goes on to infect the Orthodox.

OH. GAG. ME.

And this all makes me think of this woman at work who
is annoying on many levels, but she also NEVER WASHES
HER HANDS! I've seen her in the bathroom on several
occasions where she just leaves the stall and goes out
the door without even looking at the sink!! She's not
Latin American (I think she may be from Spain,
actually). Believe you me, we do not refer to this
woman very flatteringly in our office because of her
uncleanliness.

Bike seats...or dildos (Well, apparently if you're crafty it's one and the same!)

You know, some of these bike seats look like they could double as toys. I mean...seriously! Look at them!

But at least this was an informative article about bike seats: Bicycle Seats Explained @ Jim Langley.

OH, and Terry Bicycles: I love the "cutout to reduce pressure on soft tissues" - YEAH.

See comments by Tick for some truly enterprising individuals (NSFW to the EXTREEEME).

All the pain, nothing fun getting there (more on the bike ride)

I literally had one of those reusable cold compresses placed on my girl parts last night because it hurt so bad from that bike ride.

 

I think it's swollen around the area where the edges of the bike seat were. Very UN-sexy. If this is what childbirth (which is what one of my co-workers said it sounds like and she HAS had kids and said it was comparable!) or rough sex is like, I'll pass on both, thank you very much!

 

I had the compress arranged (I was wearing shorts, so no, I didn't have it right on my skin), and then had to gingerly scooch down in bed to get into a prone position, whimpering the whole time. I also placed a pillow under my knees because my legs were hurting. My knees are NOT happy with me today. The first thing I did before even getting out of bed was to grab the bottle of ibuprofen on the nightstand and gulp down two.

 

OMG. Seriously, how do serious cyclists, especially guys do this? Are their nuts shriveled to little walnuts? I look like a crippled old lady getting in and out of my chair today. It's pathetic.

 

Lord, never EVER EVER do a road race/ride of any significant duration on a mountain bike. Sheer stupidity. The last ten miles I wanted to DIE. I was seconds away from sobbing at various points. I wanted to throw myself into a grassy ditch at several points (and this was only around 30 miles) and just weep.

 

The ride started in downtown Milwaukee and then went north. For the 50 mile, our furthest out point was somewhere in north Mequon. We were way the fuck out in BFE Mequon. We went well past (not that anyone besides me here knows this) Donges Bay Road. That last outer loop was what did me in, mentally. The outer rest stop was at Concordia College at 21.4 miles. So, you figure you have just under 4 miles to go out to hit halfway, then the same amount back to the rest stop (for just about 8 miles). Those 8 miles felt like 20. Nothing but country and it was so empty for the most part; I didn't have a lot of people around me and all I could think about was how much my knees and crotch were hurting! If I'd had to spend one more mile in Mequon I was going to go postal on someone.

 

It was beautiful on the way out passing the "stately" homes on Lake Michigan (fucking HUGE houses), but I couldn't care less on the way back.  The inner rest stop was about 12 miles out and I kept trying to tell myself it would go quick, but it didn't. I was dragging so bad. Somewhere in Whitefish Bay at an intersection, a volunteer was cheering us on and saying we were almost there. She practically made me cry. When we finally got back onto the lakefront in Milwaukee by UWM, I was in despair of seeing the Summerfest grounds.

 

There wasn't even a "finish line" area when you got to the end. It was so LAME! I felt gypped! Just some people with an orange flag saying "thanks for participating!" I got off my bike and walked it to the car. I wasn't spending another second on that damn seat. It felt so good to take a long shower afterwards. I was all dirty and gritty and disgusting.

 

I must find better bike shorts or something with better padding.

Eye Candy

I am over my mango lassi crush (no doubt largely due
to the fact that his going to work while coughing up
his lungs resulted in my sinusitis).

Next crush: Ioan Gruffudd.

MMmmmmmMMMM. He is more Wesley Wyndham-Price than
Wesley Wyndham-Price.

I watched the popcorniest of comic flicks - Fantastic
Four - for him. And then I went through the special
features just to hear him talk.

I MISS Welsh accents. People with Welsh accents always
seem to sound like they're singing while they're
talking. Lovely.

Things that annoy me

I fucking HATE (HATE HATE HATEx infinity) when people
(especially guys, they seem to be prone to doing this)
SNORT IN when they have colds. That fucking gross "I'm
sucking snot and mucus back up into my nasal passages
and consequently, my throat as post-nasal drop" sound.
*shudders* There's this idiot fucking guy behind me
doing that. GET A FUCKING KLEENEX!

Everyone heard about that guy who has XDR TB and who
FLEW trans-Atlantic even after he found out? He was
"scared for his life"? Well, YEAH DUMBASS, even if you
didn't know you had the XDR version of tuberculosis,
what the FUCK were you thinking getting on an airline
putting thousands of people at risk?! What a fucking
asshole. For a lawyer (they've ID'd the guy), he sure
is a goddamn idiot. Seriously, if I were sitting next
to him, I'd sue his ass for all the doctor's charges
I'd be incurring as a result of having to be regularly
tested for TB...

Little fucker!

Reason eleventy-thousand why I dislike dogs!:

They BITE! For no damn reason!

The neighbors have two little muppet (Shih Tzu?) dogs.
The one they've had the longest is Gizmo and he's just
MEAN. He's got a serious jones for me and I don't know
why. He barks all the damn time at everything. Very
territorial, and now I know, very aggressive. The
other little (new) one is Coco and he's a doll, but
I'm worried he may follow the other's lead.

So, I was outside in the front walkway trimming the
bushes. Neighbor dude is taking the dogs out for a
walk. Gizmo seems to have been getting better at least
about not barking so much in regards to me. Dude and I
exchange the usual pleasantries as he starts walking
by. Coco stopped to sniff at some of the branches I'd
trimmed; I turned to look at him - not abruptly, just
normally. Gizmo, the little shit, was already passed
me but lunged back and fucking nipped me in the calf!
It was so quick and I hardly saw him do it. I wasn't
even sure if he'd clawed me first or if it was his
teeth. Well, it was his teeth. Little fucker. The
neighbor was horrified and scared shitless.

Weird little bite. Bled, but not too much. It's more
like he caused subcutaneous bleeding instead of
outright bleeding. It looks like a bruise. Dogs shots
are up to date - I trust that, but damn. What the fuck
have I ever done to the little beast!

Seriously, if that had been a larger breed dog, I
would have reported it. It's one thing to get nipped
by a little ankle-biter-sized mutt; it's quite another
to get bitten by something that could go for your
throat next. I suppose if the little shit ever does it
again, I'll just punt him into the street (I seriously
could, he's that little).

Goddamn fucking dogs. Nasty brutes.

"Impressive"

Home still from work today. Honestly, I'm getting
bored out of my mind and would rather be at work.

I managed to get in to a doctor yesterday. I went to a
new one (the last regular care doctor was a complete
incompetent bitch). I went to the office at 8am in
hopes they had walk-in hours. No luck. As a new
patient, they were able to find me an open appointment
at 2:30pm. That pretty much killed any misguided ideas
I had of going to class last night. Went back home and
puttered around before taking a nap.

The littlest thing - watering the patio garden pots
for instance - was just exhausting.

Got up and went back to the doctor's for the 2:30. Sat
and waited for half an hour until I got taken in. I
HATE THAT. Why do doctors have you come in at a
certain time when they damn well know they're going to
make you sit for at least 15 minutes or more?! It
pisses me off.

I was coughing when the doctor finally walked in to my
room. He was like "Oh, I can hear that
already...impressive..." Great. So prescribe some
drugs and get me out of here!

Have azythromyocin - same stuff I got when I had my
bronchitis earlier this year. And something else to
quiet the cough (non-narcotic), although I really
don't think whatever-it-is is helping. Still coughing
quite loudly and phlegm-ily. I just hope the
antibiotic does its job and kicks in soon. Had
yesterday's loading dose and today's. I have had
enough of farting about listlessly at home. Although I
have to say, reading about six books since Saturday
has got to be something of a feat. Horatio Hornblower
and Cadfael books up the wazoo.

At least my upper ribs aren't tickling me like they
were the past two days. God, I hate that feeling. I
wanted to claw out my chest and ribs to get rid of
that feeling!

I don't fucking believe it!

I just got my score results from that horrible history content exam I took in late April. I passed. Seriously, people, this was the worst test and it made the case for how poorly designed most standardized tests are. Children's educational lives should NOT be decided on the basis of crap standardized tests that measure NOTHING accurately.

This so called history test had shitloads of economics and PSYCHOLOGY on it. I flung my hands up in despair more than once while taking the damn thing.

But I PASSED. Unbelieveable. I feel like celebrating and going out to buy historical books at Borders or B&N.

In other news:

Yes, Ticks, that should have been "bed", not bad.

And, I am sick. *cough* I hate being sick anytime, but more so in summer when you'd rather be outside. I just came down with something Thursday evening. I just started coughing out of nowhere at the Target store. I almost panicked. It was that gasping, dry throat cough - the kind I'd had a few months ago where I literally could not lie down at night without immediately coughing (and coughing so hard that my tongue would SWELL). I thought I'd had whooping cough. Jesus, that's the LAST thing I want to have a reoccurence of. Came home early from work yesterday, ate a little something, and then went to bed. I slept somewhat, but woke up around 9pm. I felt worse. Headachey and now my joints were hurting. I could barely totter out of bed. Had an orange (What is it about oranges that taste SO GOOD when you're sick? It really perked me up.), took some advil and tried to go back to sleep. Didn't really manage to do so until I put my eye pillow on my face. Amazing, but the pressure of the lavender in it over my face relieved my headache.

I feel slightly more human today, but still coughing.

Movies: Pan's Labyrinth

Not the film you want to watch right before bed.

 

OMG. I was sobbing at the end of it.

In the "Oh, no they di'n't!" category:

Wachowski Bros making live action film of Speed Racer. WTF?!

 

I mean...seriously. God, that's going to SUCK. It cold only succeed by admitting to its own campiness.

 

Christina Ricci as Trixie? Matthew Fox as Racer X? Oh LORD.

 

Anyone in Chicago-land remember the oversexed remix of the SpeedRacer theme that B96 put out back in the 90s?

Brit stuff

I went to Borders last night and shopped with my gift card from la madre. What to buy! What to buy! I browsed for two hours and one thing I ended up getting was the Series 3 Inspector Lynley BBC mysteries.

 

Woo! Old school opening credits with the drawn goth characters. Good stuff. I might have caught the show on accident a couple times, but never watched it intentionally. I like it, although the first episode of this series was a bit heavy handed with the men vs female in the police force. I wanted to smack the one sergeant guy upside the head (not Lynley). And then the "she's my cousin" - "SECOND cousin" bit - - ewwwwwy.

Ratatouille (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ratatouille (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This looks hysterical. I saw a commercial for it and it made me laugh. Granted, I detest rats (especially in a kitchen!), but it still looks so damn cute.

So much for daydreams!

Mango Lassi has a ring on the left hand.

 

D'oh!

O may my heart's truth Still be sung On this high hill in a year's turning

Happy Birthday to me. *sigh* Another decade...

It may be May and not October, but the sentiment is
the same. From Dylan Thomas:

It was my thirtieth year to heaven
Woke to my hearing from harbour and neighbour
wood
And the mussel pooled and the heron
Priested shore
The morning beckon
With water praying and call of seagull and rook
And the knock of sailing boats on the webbed wall
Myself to set foot
That second
In the still sleeping town and set forth.

My birthday began with the water-
Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my
name
Above the farms and the white horses
And I rose
In a rainy autumn
And walked abroad in shower of all my days
High tide and the heron dived when I took the
road
Over the border
And the gates
Of the town closed as the town awoke.

A springful of larks in a rolling
Cloud and the roadside bushes brimming with
whistling
Blackbirds and the sun of October
Summery
On the hill's shoulder,
Here were fond climates and sweet singers
suddenly
Come in the morning where I wandered and listened
To the rain wringing
Wind blow cold
In the wood faraway under me.

Pale rain over the dwindling harbour
And over the sea wet church the size of a snail
With its horns through mist and the castle
Brown as owls
But all the gardens
Of spring and summer were blooming in the tall
tales
Beyond the border and under the lark full cloud.
There could I marvel
My birthday
Away but the weather turned around.

It turned away from the blithe country
And down the other air and the blue altered sky
Streamed again a wonder of summer
With apples
Pears and red currants
And I saw in the turning so clearly a child's
Forgotten mornings when he walked with his mother
Through the parables
Of sunlight
And the legends of the green chapels

And the twice told fields of infancy
That his tears burned my cheeks and his heart
moved in mine.
These were the woods the river and the sea
Where a boy
In the listening
Summertime of the dead whispered the truth of his
joy
To the trees and the stones and the fish in the
tide.
And the mystery
Sang alive
Still in the water and singing birds.

And there could I marvel my birthday
Away but the weather turned around. And the true
Joy of the long dead child sang burning
In the sun.
It was my thirtieth
Year to heaven stood there then in the summer
noon
Though the town below lay leaved with October
blood.
O may my heart's truth
Still be sung
On this high hill in a year's turning.

Found my outfit for going out!

So my sexy bday outfit bitches. I just got this tonight at the mall for Saturday's festivities. I feel very Espana-esque in this: perfect for a night of drinking sangria and eating tapas at Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba! in Chicago. I just gotta get that skirt hemmed in. It's too wide at the sides, so it pooches out in the front. I tried to get it hemmed at the mall's tailoring place, but no can do. They're stuffed with stupid prom dresses, damnit! I'm hoping a tailor at a cleaner's by me can do it - the high school right by me already had prom, so hopefully that won't be an issue.

I'm probably going to pay out the nose for a same-day job, but this skirt is a MUST.





And my espadrilles with red ribbons are going to kick so much ass.

I want five men to ask me out for random meaningless one night flings so I can turn down every single one of them. Why? Because I can!

Mr. Lassi

The hormones are a little out of control today. I had to go run outside and wander around for a little bit because I was getting squirrelly.

 

Let us contrast two situations:

 

A few weeks ago, the comic guy asking me out. An all-around "ugh" experience. I have to admit that one of the first things I'll think about is "do I picture myself with this person in the carnal sense?" The answer was a resounding HELL NO there. And kind of made me gag and want to go into convulsions as well.

 

Mr. Lassi. Sadly, no, he has not asked me out. (I do the 12 year old tactic of steering clear and lusting over my object from afar.) But same question as above? It's like TECHNICOLOR. I get this evil little smirk on my face and then I have to shake my head and refocus on my word processing jobs.

 

Meeeeeow. He's gotta be near 6'5" tall (which is unusual - I've never seen a guy of his background THAT tall and who looks like they could be a linebacker). Plenty to hold onto there *drools, then smacks self on the head*. FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS! Pretty words on Microsoft Word! And oh my god, he's got this really deep voice and don't ask me what that makes me think about. I've got tinglies just typing it.

 

Dear God. For my 30th birthday, could I PLEASE GET LAID by a decent guy?!

 

Yeah. Not likely.

 

MMmmmm

There is a member of the opposite sex at work who is, I like to say, a tall drink of mango lassi. Draw what information you can from that description.

 

He is just too damn cute.

Grades

Well, I got As in both my spring classes (really, I don't deserve it on the history because I KNOW my last paper was shit). But them's the breaks.

 

Still don't have the History Content Exam results from ICTS yet. *grimaces* That's the 25th.

 

Trying to late register for Summer (which pisses me off - I was dropped and shouldn't have been!) and the phone lines are busy. WHAT FUCKING SCHOOL STILL USES TOUCHTONE REG? That's right! MY idiot school!

Evening

I went to yoga and felt quite rejuvenated. And also
sweaty. Arms dripping, can't hold an arm balance pose
because of the sweat sweaty.

Then came home and fired up the grill. I made an very
tasty steak, thank you very much, with an even tastier
margarita.

I am feeling very comfortable, how 'bout YOU?!

Now, off to take a cool shower because it's warm but
not too warm to warrant turning on the damn AC.

[Blank]-O-Matic 3000, Things That Should Be Invented

I am enjoying a tomato mozzarella salad from Panera for lunch. I love me that combination of tomato/mozza/basil.

 

In my half clandestine gardening experiment, I have planted both basil and tomatoes. I wish I could plant mozzarella. But unfortunately, planting little balls of mozzarella does not result in great big mozzarella plants.

 

In other things I wish existed (chiefly for last week): a detachable uterus. Kind of like the "Detachable Penis" that King Missile sang about back in the 90s. Lorena Bobbit did try to do the whole detachable penis thing, but as we all know, that had some issues.

 

My Detachable Uterus would feature:

 

A convenient front opening door with hidden zipper for easy removal and reinsertion.

Color coded connections for easy re-connection back to Fallopian Tubes and Cervix.

 

Great for when:

• you don't want to get pregnant,
• want to be unemotional (wow! now females can easily engage in "this is just no strings attached sex" and engage in hostile corporate take-overs just like men!), and...
• especially for those weeks when you have cramps so bad all you want to do is drink whiskey, eat expensive chocolates, and bitch-slap every man you see.

 

Using the Detachable Uterus-O-Matic 3000 would thus have side benefits of preventing alcoholism, obesity and random (though surely deserved 99% of the time) violence towards men. Special cleaning solution and washing pouf included if you BUY NOW for only THREE EASY INSTALLMENTS of 49.99!

 

Seriously, if I could have removed my uterus for 3 days last week, it would have been great. Fucking cramps. Oh, and a Flow-Regulator-O-Matic 3000 wouldn't hurt either. It's like either the faucet is GUSHING or driiiiiiiip....driiiiiiiiip....driiiiiiiip. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND, GIRL-PARTS!

 

In other news: I meant to make one more comment about the History Boys movie in a previous post. To clarify: yes, I really do like the movie (excellent); I was just like "holee shit!" during parts of it. The thing that absolutely fucking cracked me up at the end? The music that played during the credits. I heard the first few words being sung and was like "it's fucking Rufus Wainwright!" Oh Lord. I laughed. How apropos!

On the road to jail time :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

On the road to jail time :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

Dude. People ARE stupid. Jaaaaay-sus.

History Boys

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST.

Watching the DVD of History Boys. With the original
stage cast.

*agog*

So many cute boys, but...

Democrats get in Bush's face :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: World

Democrats get in Bush's face :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: World

OH HELL NO. Bean went WITH Bush? *outraged* That is MY congresswoman. But she will quickly revert to WAS in the next election if this continues. I am going to email her!

Queen concludes visit with toast, joke - Yahoo! News

Oh, Queenie, WHY did you have dinner with that dressed up ape? Shouldn't Tony's disastrous connection with him have taught you anything?


Queen concludes visit with toast, joke - Yahoo! News

Yes, some 225ish years later, we have our own Mad, Mad, Mad King George.

How Does My Garden Grow

Well, I took stock of what all I have planted. And just realized I am not doing a good watering thing with the habenero! Damn, at least it's just been the first few days and is correctable.

Here we go. Now I'm wondering: the days mentioned, is that from seed? It must be. In which case, it's not as long since I bought seedlings and transplanted them.

In the front area:
Hardy Azaleas (pink ones called "Mother's Day" from HD) (Perennial, meaning I also have it in the ground, not in a pot/plantar)
Bronze Dutch Clover (P)
Sweet Woodruff (aka Herb of Humility) (P)
Strawberries (4) - Mix of everbearing and seasonal (P)
Lavendar (P)
Poppies (P)
Salvia - Salsa Mix colors (P)
New Guinea Impatiens (P)

Back patio and slightly incognito areas:
Meadow Sage (P)
Fuschia
Combo Annuals - Geraniums and something else
Lavendar (P)
Rosemary (P)
Geranium (P)
Gerbera Daisy (P)
Carnations - King of the Blacks (P)
Emerald n Gold Euonymus (Shrubs, in ground)
Citronella (P)
Caspian Pink Tomatoes
Purple Sage
Greek Oregano
Basil (P)
Parsley
Cucumber - May 7th, 60 Days
Yellow Pear Heirloom Tomatoes - May 7th, 78 Days, hmmm also has some worrying reviews
Cilantro
Cherokee Purple Tomatoes - May 5th, 80 days
Jalapeno - May 5th, 65-75 days
Marion Tomatoes - May 7th, 70-75 days
Pansies
Vinca Vine (P)
Chives (P, actually they spread to the ground from a pot we had a couple years ago! They've gone native!)
4 o'Clocks, Marvel of Peru (P)
Patio Prize Tomatoes - May 7th, 68 days
Pineapple Sage (P)
Quinault Sthttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifrawberries (P)
Yellow Straight Squash - May 7th, 50 days
Silver Edge Thyme (P)
Parsley (P)
Peppermint
Spanish Yellow Onion - May 7th, 120-130 days (WTF! It takes onions that fucking LONG?)
Mr. Stripey Heirloom Tomatoes - May 7th, 80 days, interesting, parts of plants are POISONOUS? What, did I get the puffer fish of the tomato kingdom? Also worrying: seeing some negative reviews of the plant for being too soft/mushy and prone to cracking.
Tomatillos Physalis philadelphica - May 7th, 70 days
Serrano Chiles - May 7th, 80 days
White Spanish Onion - May 7th, 110 days
Habenero - NOTE TO SELF: only water when DRY!
Cantaloupe - May 7th, 75-85 days (I don't think this one's gonna work)

And, YES, I planted in that little horseshoe shaped enclosure in between us and the neighbor to the north. Keep your fingers crossed that my illicit gardening adventure stays seekrit!

I WANT BIG, JUICY FUCKING TOMATOES!

I wish the mom would get an umbrella for the patio table. (OOOh, or this one.) You can't sit out there in the full glare of the sun with no protection without baking. Kind of makes having a patio table pointless, don't you think?

Education Meme

The Cubs are really friggin pissing me off right about now. Stupid friggin Pirates.

Anyway, on to Gonzo's Education Meme!

-----(-)-> What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
My answer: Well, two of my favorite teachers that I remember are Mrs. Dunbar (K) - I used to call her Mrs. DUMbar, because I didn't know better. She always used to play the piano for us; she taught us all how to sing Frere Jacques (Brother John, Are you Sleeping? in French). I still remember it. Mrs. Hopkins would be another one; I had her twice, I think for second and for fifth grade. She was such a nice woman and I think she introduced us to a lot of good books, including C.S. Lewis' Narnia books.

-----(-)-> What subject did you favor in high school?
My answer: English, all the way. Come on, I want to BE an English teacher!

-----(-)-> Did you attend a university and if so did you attain a degree?
My answer: Yes (squared). I have a double major in English and Western European Civilization (akin to History) for my B.A. degree. I am seven months away from finishing my Masters degree in Teaching, Secondary Education, Language Arts.

-----(-)-> Do you learn best through books, by watching or hands-on?
My answer: I'm pretty good at all three methods, but I like getting my hands dirty, as it were.

-----(-)-> Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?
My answer: Whenever I haven't been in school (and stressing out over stupid shit), I've been bored out of my mind. It's a survival mechanism. I want to be a teacher so I'm always in school! I'm messed up in the head!

----(-)-> What seven people are you tagging to do this?
My answer: My little blog world is slowly growing. I will ask my mum, Lippy, the Wandering Author, Aly, and Tickersoid.

Poor Wittle Paris

You must be shitting me. WHY are people pitying poor little rich girl Paris? There's a fucking petition on the net for her to be pardoned by Schwarzenegger. WHAT-ever.

 

Bitch broke the law. She should shut her trap and serve her damn time. Slutty bimbo stickfigure vapid blonde heiresses are not above the law. If she were anyone normal (i.e., NOT rich and most likely not white), she would have been tossed in jail ages ago and probably for longer. As someone who lost two friends to a drunk driver (which Paris has one offense for - DUI), I don't think this is a laughing matter.

 

For her to whine that she's been treated unfairly is a crock of shit. She has more money for defense that anyone else and has taken up more court time than a normal person.

 

It's called PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY, bitch.

 

I recommend going to the Paris website and leaving a nice long comment here. You have the vapid responses of her "fans" (Jesus, I hope these people don't procreate) and the fairly erudite responses of those persons, such as myself, who are mocking the hell out of everyone else.

 

Go Forth And Mock!!

Green Thumbs Needed!

Anyone a tomato growing expert? What's the secret to getting monstrous numbers of tomatoes per vine a la this little contraption? I mean, I probably won't buy that, but something similar.

Can I do this growing them in a large pot with the support placed in it???

Morning

The crab apple tree in back of our townhouse row.

Another fabulous day in the North Shore

*cough* Not really in regards to "North Shore". The
town the Catholics built is practically the slums
compared to the "real" North Shore, i.e., Lake Forest,
Winnetka, Wilmette, Highland Park, etc., etc., etc.

Interjection: Ha ha, Mags, got your pix message! :)

Let me tell you, peeps, going shopping on Sunday
morning while the Jesusy-people are a'churchin is THE.
BOMB. No lines. No bad parking spaces. No screaming
kids. Oh, the blessed peace and quiet. Of course, you
just have to get up to enjoy it. Usually, I'm sacked
out in bed slightly comatose.

My brother took my mom to church today (What? You
thought *I* was going to do that? My "good
daughterness while the mom is recovering from knee
surgery" does not extend to getting suckered into
going to church with her. No way.) As it was, she
shouldn't have been doing Catholic Calisthenics...she
aggravated her knee doing the whole sit down, stand
up, kneel bullshit. *rolls eyes* She should have just
stayed seated, I'm sure the godman would understand.

Anyway, back to shopping. I went to Garden Fresh and
stocked up on my Fage Greek Yogurt. That's pronounced
"Fah-yeh!" I think I'm going to start calling it
"Fuh-yeh!" (for Fuck Yeah! yogurt). Then....

I went back to Home Depot. Oh evil, evil. I got more
mulch, soil and plants. Holy shit, did I get more
plants. (I had to go back again around 6pm for MORE
mulch though.) I really wanted to buy the Scotch Broom
plant (so pretty!), but I would have had to dig a four
foot hole - NOT happening with my little hand spade
and cultivator! I was outside non-stop from approx
12:30 until 5:30pm gardening. Christ. And then I
showered off the mud and did that other run to HD for
more mulch, came back, and was outside again from 7ish
until 8ish. I hardly ate a thing all day, I was so
focused on getting this shit done. I told my mom that
this was pretty much her mother's day present, a week
early. The back looks fucking awesome, if I do say so
myself. I'll have to take pictures.

On a side note, the neighbor's crabapple tree is in
full blossom. It smelled heavenly and looks like a
cloud of soft snow hovering in the air above the
branches.

So, it's a townhouse, yah? On the north side of our
back patio, there's a bigger area of shrubbery
(totally unkempt by the lackluster association)
between us and one neighbor. Both AC units are tucked
in here as well. Interesting thing: there's quite the
bit of space in the middle of the bushes (they form a
horseshoe bowing away from the ACs and the back
walls). I'm guessing mebbe 4 sq ft? Throw in a few
bags of garden soil (because the soil is SHIT and lots
of clay/rocks when you scratch in with the cultivator
like I did) and it would be the perfect spot for
tomatoes. Totally against association rules I'm
guessing, but they can really kiss my ass right about
now. Shielded from the wind, but still plenty of
sunlight. The neighbor on that side just moved in and
is hardly ever home. I don't think she's been out on
the back patio at all. The only real risk or two: 1)
getting caught by the association nazis 2) if either
of us needs to have AC repairs done this summer. An AC
dude would have to tramp right through that space. I'm
thinking that's a risk I'm willing to take. TOMATO RUN
AT HOME DEPOT TOMORROW! WoOt! I'm going to get more
heirloom varieties because I like the funky lookin'
ones.

When my mom eventually notices the little tomato
plantation to the north and asks me what the hell,
I'll be like "Tomatoes just planted themselves there?
How WEIRD!" With the exception of onions, we totally
have the makings for salsa.

On the outside arch of that same area, I planted a lot
of little things in between whatever type of lillies
that have been there forever. I had to weed the shit
out of that area though, and then make sure to mulch
around my plantings so the weeds can't come back in. I
have six everbearing strawberry plants (Mmm! I hope
they put out little runners. Strawberries typically do,
so I hope to have more plants next year.) About four
yellow neck squash, the same number of cucumbers (why
squash and cukes, two things I hardly ever eat?!), two
jalapenos (one other was planted in a pot), some thyme
(I think, something that will provide ground cover as
well), some utterly fantastic smelling pineapple sage
(I have no idea what to use it for crush it in ice tea! or use in salads and desserts, but it smells so
sweet!), more basil (from seed this time), parsley,
and four o'clocks (Marvel of Peru) from seed. I love four o'clocks. We
used to have them at the old house. Those things seed
like crazy and spread - make good cover. I planted
them right up against the back wall. It should cover
that unsightly area well if they bloom well.

Oh god, I think my face is hot. It was cloudy most of
the day, but I bet the UV rays were still bad. Shit. I
had a hat on the whole time though...I would have
thought it would have covered some of my face!

This is so long-winded now. I'm going to have to make
a list of what all is out there, take pictures, and
then re-post.

P.S. TWA, I was futzing about your journal after reading your catnip comment (thanks). I've got to make a note to check out The Literate Kitten. God, how does she read so much? I mean, I thought I read a lot, but DAMN. (Of course, most of my reading lately has been for graduate school and not a lot of pleasure reading. *le sigh*)

Ole! Cinco Cinco!

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah, bitches! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
*raises margarita glass*

I slept in late today. I was just too damn exhausted
to get up and do the 7:45 am yoga class. I stuck
around the house for a bit. Today was the first day my
mom could bathe after her surgery. I waited until she
was done to get out of the house just in case she
needed me.

After that, picked up (yet another) pair of biking
sunglasses that I won from last week's M&M Cyclery
Ladies' Night Raffle. Last year, I won the exact same
glasses. I told them that, and I got to switch them
out for a pair that had greenish frames at least. Good
glasses, though.

Went to work for a couple hours (had some time to make
up from oversleeping this week - oops!) and then I
went to Jamaica Gardens North. My mom and I like to
have potted herbs in the summer. Oh god, I go to that
place and it's just...bad. I'm just lucky, I suppose,
that living in a townhouse means we have very limited
space to put this stuff. I got rosemary (a favorite of
mine), oregano, basil (another favorite, especially
for making de-li-cious caprese salad), thyme, lavender
(I tried planting some from seed out front, but it
doesn't appear to be working). I also got a couple
heirloom tomato plants (the first I tried to plant I
think I might have hurt - - oops, we'll see), a
habenero plant, a couple jalapenos, and squash and
something else. Fuck I can't remember what all the
hell I bought. I don't know where the hell I'm going
to stick the peppers and squash! Got one gerbera daisy
and an impatiens. Three bags of potting soil (need
MORE).

Then I made the mistake of trucking off to Home Depot.
Holy fucking Christ, they had a ton of shit. I bought
another lavender plant, catnip (whee! for the
kitties!), two lovely pink plants whose name I cannot
remember but it's something so obvious and if I
weren't drunk off my margarita I could remember... two
bags of mulch (need another) and a couple ground cover
plants. Oh, and even a couple citronella plants! Very
cool. I have those potted out on the back patio. Fuck
off mosquitoes! Ha ha.

Once I got home, I spent a couple hours planting it
all. Our front walkway area looks SO much nicer with
the mulch. Fucking townhouse association is completely
slacking. The bushes haven't been trimmed in AGES and
no mulch in god knows how long. What the fuck do we
pay dues for?! Most of the herbs are planted in pots
on the back patio. I still have a couple more to go.
My back was killing me, but post-margarita we seem to
be doing pretty damn well.

So early Mom's Day gift for my mom with all the
plants.

After I finished doing the whole garden thing, I was
starved. I hadn't really eaten since the morning. I
called and placed a to-go order from On the Border for
steak fajitas. Ole! Tasty! I scarfed those down once I
got back home, along with mi muy bueno margarita.

Aaaaaah! Good day. Now, if it would only be sunny
tomorrow. I want to go on a bike ride down to the
lake.

cultivating blogships

Thanks to Gonzo, I've discovered a couple interesting blogs. (Well, there are more, but I need to start out small!) I am making an effort to regularly visit and make comments. I've kinda been living in a blog-hole over here.

They shot Old Yeller

Okay, NOW I understand why people are bitchy when they turn down dates half the time. Because if you try to be nice and let 'em down easy, they think if they ask you a couple more times that you'll change your mind.

The answer was NO, is NO, and evermore shall be NO.

GOD FUCKING DAMN I am ANNOYED.

To recap: this guy that works at the comic shop I go to asked me out on Saturday. Because it was so unexpected and I was so flustered, I wound up giving him my number. BAD. BAD. BAD IDEA. Did I mention...bad idea? I have known this guy in only the vaguest sense for a few years and have usually found him annoying. On more than one occasion, I have been downright rude to him because he was just pissing me the hell off. Yap, yap fucking yap.

On Saturday, when I was ambushed, I had said that this week was bad to call me because it is finals week. So what did the dumbass do? Call me on Sunday. When I'm trying to write my fucking papers. That didn't make me feel any better towards him. The whole time I was on the phone with him on Sunday, I kept cringing and thinking over and over "oh my god, I can NOT go on a date with this guy I will fucking DIE." His voice and the way he talks are like nails on a chalkboard to me. He sounds so whiney. AND he thought I was like 24 years old? Excuse me? He's about 1 1/2 years older than me. His last girlfriend was a lot younger, too. I have a healthy skepticism/distrust of men who date girls considerably younger than themselves. I have seen too many bad things. I mean, yes, we women are generally far more mature than guys anyway, but why? Are you looking to be a Svengali and get this pretty young thing to do shit with you that, a few years from now, she'll go WTF was I thinking? He's in his 30s and his main source of employment is clerking at a comic store. And he has no ambition to do anything else (and, yes, he pretty much told me that on the phone). That is so not going to work for me. Working in a comic shop is not a bad thing. But for me? I need a guy with a little more ambition than that. What would be doing? Going out on dates to fucking Taco Bell? I don't fucking think so.

I told him, between school and work, that I did not have time to date. I don't have time to date or to deal with the ancillary bullshit that dating brings with it. AND I certainly don't have time for someone that annoys the shit out of me. Actually, I didn't say the last two sentences, but you get my drift.

He was like "well, if you want to hang out sometime as a break from studying or something..."

I should have nipped it in the bud right there, but goddamn it I didn't. I thought I had gotten my point across well enough with the "I DON'T HAVE TIME."

Fast forward to today. After spending all day in the hospital, I finally went to the comic shop to pick up my stuff (new Buffy out today - excellent, although my eyes got scorched in a couple parts). He wasn't there - thank Christ. Oh, but Charwars was. And Charwars tells me that D (the guy) said to tell me to please call him. WTF? Are we in seventh grade? And WTF again because you don't do that to me. You don't even know me well enough to do that. There was even this bit in there about "not that he wants to come off as desperate, but give him a call." *rolls eyes* Okay, LESSON THE FIRST, if you have to preface yourself with "not that I want to appear desperate", DUDE, you ARE desperate.

That just pissed me off. I didn't even say anything in reply. I'm sure Charwars could tell I was angry.

After that, I went to the gym and spun around on the stationary bike like crazy for forty minutes and was STILL pissed off. I felt sick to my stomach. I had to shut off my cell phone because the battery was down. Thank god.

Cue to when I get home. I plug my phone in to the charger and turn it on. I have a voicemail. I thought maybe it was my friend Jesica because she was supposed to call me back. NOOOOPE. It's D. JESUS FRAKKIN CHRIST. He's on my voicemail. After telling him Saturday this was a bad week for me, he fucking calls once, has his coworker bug me AND FUCKING CALLS ME AGAIN. I wanted to scream. He wanted to take me out to see Spider Man 3. I deleted the voicemail before it was even done. Again, nails on a damn chalkboard. Can't stand his voice.

I found his number in my recent calls list and hit send. After "Hi", I was like "So, I ran into C and he told me that you wanted me to call AND I got your voicemail." Insert some random shit from him blah blah... I launched into "I told you that I didn't have time to date. I don't want to date right now. AND I do not want to date YOU okay?"

He was like "Oh...okaaaaay" in his whiney voice. I had to repeat myself once more just to be sure he got it. Because I think he's living in a bubble similar to the one George Bush is about Iraq. He said "well, just to hang out, you know?" God, I was so exasperated. I told him, "It's about managing expectations. I know what you want - you want to date. I DON'T. Those two are never going to meet in the middle." He's the type of guy that you have to shut down, because that kind will think they have some kind of claim on you if you go out with them once and they think they'll wear you down over time. I don't want to date you and I don't fucking want to hang out with you. (Didn't say that sentence, but god did I want to.)

CLUELESS. Utterly clueless. I gave one more "OK?" and he was like "oh, okaaaaaay, well give me a call sometime..."

*grabs face with hands* GOD, WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU TO GET THAT I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER GET A CALL FROM ME? (Didn't say that either, but that's what I was thinking.) At that point, I just hung up on him.

If he even tries to call me again, I am going to just...I don't know. I don't know what I'll do, but it sure as hell won't be pretty. Some dumbass footballer tried to stalk me in college and believe you me, he learned to watch his step around me. Him and his whole damn house knew I was not to be fucked with. I haven't had to be that bitchy in years, but I'll do it in a heartbeat if I think I'm going to have trouble.


What is it with guys? Jesica just went on a date with a guy that she met at a bar. She won't be doing that again. During their conversation, the guy was like "Yeah, my sister and friends think I'm an asshole." Great way to sell yourself, numbnuts.

God damn. I'm just so aggravated. This is why I don't date. Too much fucking bullshit. Give me a pair of batteries and high-grade plastic any day over this trumped up asshattery.

I'm going to make myself a stiff margarita.

EDIT: Oh yessss. I love margaritas. I made myself a GOOD one. I feel good. I don't even feel remotely annoyed anymore. Sweet Cuervo waters of Lethe.

Hospitals

So, I spent all of today in the hospital. My mom went
in for knee surgery. She had a cyst removed. It went
well, but god damn is the amount of time in there a
bore.

They make you get in there at 10:30 am, but then her
surgery wasn't even until almost 2pm! So you just sit.
And wait. And sit and wait some more.

Was able to see her in recovery at 4pm and we left
about 4:30pm.

I just hope she'll be able to walk better now. She was
having a tough time.

The doctor? Dr. Collins? Yeah, he was not a bad
looking dude. He was shorter than me, but he looked
like an older Christian Bale. Seriously. The exact
same face. I was like "helloooo, doctor".