Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Change of plans - Back to killing the pathetic excuse that passes for humanity

You know how earlier today I said I was feeling more benificent and only in a "lightly torture" mode towards humanity.

Scratch that: we're back to plan A. Kill, kill, kill.

After I probably barf.

I went to Einstein's for lunch. Ordered a roast beef sandwich. I was all excited upon opening the package back at my desk because I got TWO pickles. Oh, it's a TWO PICKLE HAPPY DAY, says I. Yum, yum, I eat pickle number one.

Then I look at sandwich. Some dolt at the shop translated turkey as "roast beef". I do not eat turkey unless it's Thanksgiving. I HATE DELI TURKEY. Turkey in spanish (palvo or something does not sound like beef in spanish, either, so Juan-Behind-the-Counter has no excuse!) So, I slammed a hand down on one half to smoosh it in my anger. And then I pick at it and eat that half of the sandwich. Turkey doesn't taste like much.

Second half of the sandwich. I take off the top slice in bread in preparation for picking off the turkey and turning that into a cheese sandwich. I happen to glance at the bread. THERE IS FUCKING MOLD. BLUE MOLD. PENI-FUCKING-CILLIN. *shudders*

*cries*

I called up Einstein's and told them to check out the whole wheat as it is now growing drugs.

Tossed the sandwich, tossed the pickle (it is no longer a happy day). Should clarify tossed: as in trash. I have not yet tossed the sandwich.

Ate the plastic packaged chocolate chip cookie (but I checked for maggots first).

*glares murderously*

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Call Einstein's and call the health department. In MN, two sick people are an outbreak. There's no excuse, ever, to serve moldy food, even if you don't feel physically ill.

-C