Wizard World

To go or not to go to Wizard World Chicago this Saturday?

 

It's $25 to get in...and I really shouldn't spend the money buying what I would probably end up buying...

If I could be bothered...

I would post about the horrendous class I had on Friday.

I would post about how I am sick of the rabid religious right in this country (my mom included). Fucking think they can tell everyone what to do and how to do it. AND THEN, they have the balls to say "oooh! I'm being persecuted! we have to protect ourselves!" Fucking schoolyard bullies. PLEASE, can the so-called "Rapture" just happen already so all these fucked up crazy ass born-agains can die already and leave the rest of us a-fucking-lone in blessed peace and quiet?

I'm sorry, but anyone who isn't trying to make the best of things here NOW and is instead living for the "next" life, just should not be trusted. If you ask me, they're investing themselves in bringing about the end of the world. WELL FUCK YOU, us sane non-religious types would like to make the earth last a little while longer, you freaks.

I would also post about how I think it's ridiculous Israel is getting away with bombing civilians AND the UN. And even more ridiculous? The fact that the stupid government won't stand up and say anything about it. (Oh yeah, and Condi says a ceasefire isn't worth it? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WOMAN.) But hey, is anyone surprised? This is Bush Co. we're talking about. Just another day being Satan's lap dog.

Dragging my ass across the finish line

So, the research proposal is DONE. DONE DONE DONE. I got back not too long ago from my professor's house where most of us met for a BBQ and to display our research boards that we did. Yippee. It was good, but mostly it was a gigantic relief. Regardless of what my grade is, I can say that I have survived what wound up being a month from hell. Seriously? In like three weeks, I pulled together about a 45 page proposal from almost nothing.

Of course, I almost OD'd on caffeine throughout this process. Going cold-turkey on caffeine is giving me headaches, but I am determined to do it. I do not want to step foot into a Starbucks for at least TWO MONTHS. I must have spent close on $200 there in the past three weeks, I'm not lying.

I slept until about 10am yesterday and then got up and finished my paper at work by 5pm. I went to bed about midnight after popping two nighttime pain relief for the caffeine headache. HOLY SHIT...that stuff knocked me OUT. When my alarm went off at 8am, I could barely raise my head. What little I did caused me a serious case of vertigo. It was nasty. I fell back asleep until noon.

I could just about fall asleep right now again. HOWEVER...

it has been nearly a month since I saw Superman Returns. Me thinks I need to go and celebrate by ogling Brandon Routh in his blue tights. It's not going to be in the theatres much longer and it just won't be the same "larger than life" when it's on my tv screen! Ahhh, yes.

And then I seriously need to look at what classes I'm taking this fall...

Wheee!

I already own all the freaking DVDs, so this doesn't matter much to ME, but iTunes finally has Buffy Season Two up. Schweet.

If, however, I were to ever get a video iPod (I WISH), I would probably download favorite eps.

Oh, Buffy Season Two, how fantastic and evil Angelus-y you were. De-amn, Angelus in Passion is just to.die.for. No pun intended.

Man, that was like 1997-1998. I was a sophomore in college. I'm getting old. *grimaces*

Spammers suck

Just a general housekeeping note. Comments are fine, but "anonymous" "make $900/month" spamalicious comments are NOT and will, quite obviously, be REJECTED.

I mean, two in one day? Come on now.

SICK OF RESEARCH!

Can I just say that I am sick to death of spending my weekends in the library and my weeknights at the Starbucks, madly trying to get this "shitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfuckertits" research proposal done? (Carlin, 1972) Did you like my APA format parenthetical citation there? I know you did.

SEVEN HOURS people. I was on the metra at 8:21, in Chicago at 9:10, and then A.S. and I were at the library from fucking 10am to 5pm when it closed. (Same thing LAST Saturday, too). Oh, and in a few short hours, I will be doing the exact same thing on Sunday from 12-5pm.

I have about 25 pages written. My introduction is solid. I have, I would say, 60% of my literature review but I desperately need more sources to get anywhere near the 30 resource mark, let alone 40. A.S. and I spent from 1-5 working on our methodology sections because that was the section we had absolutely no fucking clue how to do. I have about 75% of that done. I WILL get that part done tomorrow because I refuse to spend any more time on it when it makes up a ridiculously small part of my entire paper - 4 pages tops? Then I need to do a conclusion, an abstract, and fucking figure out my citations page because MOTHERFUCKING ENDNOTES DOES NOT WORK ON MY FUCKING COMPUTER'S WORD PROGRAM!! BITCH!

My eyeballs and my brain want to bleed out.

A.S. and I are both clinging to sanity by our fingernails. When we can literally sit on the couches for 30 minutes repeating the "Eye Yam Sofa King We Tod Id" comment from the idiot rightwing blog comment section and laugh hysterically the whole time? Dude, your brain is fried and you know it. Shit, I even recorded us both saying it on my computer. I'm crazy. And THEN, we were all BADLY singing Bon Jovi songs at her house (with her husband). With Indian music playing in the background and the smell of chicken curry in the air. Anyone walking past her apartment window had to be wondering what the fuck was up with the crazies.

We ate too much curry. And then we proceeded to have disgusting conversations about vomit, and birthing and (god help me) CHOADS (?is that the terminology?!) and I think her husband (if not myself as well) is mentally scarred for life. (But we also got him to say "Eye Yam Sofa King We Tod Id" and laughed at him until he finally got it.) Oh, and let's not forget the colonics discussion. Ye gods, that is the DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF DOING. We were sitting at the dining table (post dinner) and somehow colonics got brought up (not that any of us three have EVER had one, thank CHRIST), but at some point I just shot out: "That is for somoeone who is too ashamed to have anal sex and still wants something shoved up their ass!"

I am nothing if not blunt.

Blunt like the blunt force trauma a sledgehammer, or a very large research proposal, causes to your forehead.

I am hereby filing this entry under "graduate" "assfucking" (not that there was any assfucking involved, just colonics) and "inappropriate discussions".

Sweet: Seven Dirty Words

Seven Soldiers of Victory

Is seriously fucked up.

 

That is all.

 

Might someone have given me a warning??

I need a break

Away from HERE. I am sick of the woman across from me consistently wearing far too much Degree deodorant (it reeks) or, worse yet, slathering on her headache-inducing floral crap lotion. If I could do it with any sense of workplace decorum, I would rather have my nose inserted in my own armpit than smell either of those two things.

I wear Dove deodorant, thank you, and it does not gratuitously smell up a place.

So much for 10+ hours of sleep making me chipper. I was going to take a "nap" from 5-6 last night before going to work on my paper. Not so much. I slept through until 4am when the thunderstorms started. By 5am I gave up and just got ready for work and came in here at quarter of 7.

When people were already here and acting like idiots. *Rawr*

DAMNIT

I hate it when people use the same shit I do. Auction sniping tools, for instance. Some bitch outsniped me on an auction I desperately wanted to win. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I hope the bitch is mad she had to pay a lot at least!

I was at Starbucks from six pm to nine pm tonight, dutifully working on my research proposal. I will be overjoyed when this thing is finally done, regardless of whether or not I feel it's crappy. About the only analogy I can come up with to describe this torture is to say it's like being Zeus and having Athena stuck in your head, slamming at your skull with her weapons.

Would somebody please fucking call Hephaestus and have him split my goddamn skull open NOW so this paper will get the hell out (fully formed!)?

Talked to A.S. for a bit; she's every bit as frustrated, possibly more. Stupid fucking library won't get her articles on microfiche. Last I checked, wasn't the library's fucking job to get people INFORMATION?

We plan on hitting up Cafe Ba Ba Reeba the Friday after the paper is due (that makes it August 4th) and getting absolutely trashed on sangria and obliterating what brains we have left. (If we have any left, jesus.)

First Look: The new 'Buffy' comic | Popwatch | Blog: Entertainment Weekly

Buffy returns (again) - schweet. I just hope the interior art is as good. Whoever started doing the later issues of BtVS in the first run really ticked me off. I thought it was crap.


First Look: The new 'Buffy' comic | Popwatch | Blog: Entertainment Weekly

Change of plans - Back to killing the pathetic excuse that passes for humanity

You know how earlier today I said I was feeling more benificent and only in a "lightly torture" mode towards humanity.

Scratch that: we're back to plan A. Kill, kill, kill.

After I probably barf.

I went to Einstein's for lunch. Ordered a roast beef sandwich. I was all excited upon opening the package back at my desk because I got TWO pickles. Oh, it's a TWO PICKLE HAPPY DAY, says I. Yum, yum, I eat pickle number one.

Then I look at sandwich. Some dolt at the shop translated turkey as "roast beef". I do not eat turkey unless it's Thanksgiving. I HATE DELI TURKEY. Turkey in spanish (palvo or something does not sound like beef in spanish, either, so Juan-Behind-the-Counter has no excuse!) So, I slammed a hand down on one half to smoosh it in my anger. And then I pick at it and eat that half of the sandwich. Turkey doesn't taste like much.

Second half of the sandwich. I take off the top slice in bread in preparation for picking off the turkey and turning that into a cheese sandwich. I happen to glance at the bread. THERE IS FUCKING MOLD. BLUE MOLD. PENI-FUCKING-CILLIN. *shudders*

*cries*

I called up Einstein's and told them to check out the whole wheat as it is now growing drugs.

Tossed the sandwich, tossed the pickle (it is no longer a happy day). Should clarify tossed: as in trash. I have not yet tossed the sandwich.

Ate the plastic packaged chocolate chip cookie (but I checked for maggots first).

*glares murderously*

Mainstream Coverage...

Thought it was interesting that the Sun-Times picked this up.

Probably the only reason they're covering it is because of the sexual orientation issue. *rolls eyes*

I'd be interested in reading it if Batwoman got her own monthly series, but I'm not all that in to "52".

I Saw a Robin with a Worm This Morning

He looked pleased with himself.

The world has that scrubbed fresh feeling after last night's massive storms. I had to bury my head under my pillows because the lightning and thunder kept going. Downed trees and power lines, anyone?

I am also in a weirdly buoyant mood this morning. Less of the "can I please kill the whole of 'humanity' right now" and more of the "well, maybe I'll just torture you a little bit and let you go".

I had a hazelnut breve latte and an egg & bacon sandwich (with all the cheese trying to escape to one side).

I checked my email and laughed hysterically. I'll be sure to bring the bullhorn when next you're in town

And then a woman at work regales me with how her period suddenly came back after two days and she's wearing white pants....oooookay.(I said to her: "So, it's more of an ellipses than a period, huh?" She didn't get it. Of course, I am probably the only English geek to have ever made a comment like that.) A little TMI considering we're not in our own girls' club or anything, but...sorry?

Looks like I've got a site to check out, but I think I might want to wait until I'm on the home computer.

If Evil is Afoot...

And you're a fuzzy slipper, does that mean

 

1) you're a willing vessel of evil

 

and

 

2) are the slippers still those skanky ass Homer ones you wore all the time?

Codes & Idiots

When filing out a damage claim for the USPS, you have to fill in a code for what the item is. You know: jewellry, cash, collectibles..etc.

 

I liked how two items got paired up for Code 14: Hazardous/Sexually Oriented Material

 

In other news, Wingnut Peter Shinn succeeded at becoming the Number 1 Conservative Idiot on Democratic Underground's Weekly Top 10 Conservative Idiots list. Way to go Petey-poo!

Fucking sweet, Fables

I worship at his feet!

Thoughts and such

It's been a bad couple of weeks to be a female. Two of my good friends have had the misfortune to be treated ridiculously shitty by men. Ridiculously - as in you'd swear this shit only happens on Jerry Springer. We're talking secret pregnant wives and bullshit like that. For real. When I'm sitting speechless on my bed, jaw dropped and totally unable to make a reply to what someone is telling me? That's bad. One of the girls - dude, she hardly EVER swears, she's so prim and proper (compared to me). She was swearing like a sailor. Not that I blame her. If I ever see her ex, I'm going to say "Hello, [name]," throw a right hook, and then say "Goodbye, [name]."

And he'd be getting off light. He should get his dick chopped off, if you ask me.

While working on my paper at Starbucks today, I had a sudden thought: Beauty, like money, does not guarantee happiness. However, it does mean you can get fucked every night if you wanted to and buy a lot of shit.

So, if my love life and financial situations are already unhappy, could I just get a decent shag and win the lotto please?

In other, less whiny news: I am ridiculously excited about reading the new JLA this week (Wednesday). Yippee!

I have no willpower. I caved and downloaded Nelly Furtado's "Promiscuous" from iTunes. I don't particularly love the lyrics (please, I could do less with the glorifying the woman as slut junk, especially with how crappy we get treated lately!), but the backbeat on it just grabs me.

Petey's started a MOVEMENT I tell ya

March Together Against Life

People just can't stop taking the piss out of this moron, and I can't bame 'em. There are freaking Cafe Press stores now mocking him.

I've seen a picture of him - definitely looks like a fat whitebread no getting laid tool.

And the comments, they just keep on a rolling inthrough the backdoor that is called internet cache...

Gotta love it.

What else cracks me up? Yesterday, I obviously nominated him for Numero Uno in the Top Ten Conservative Idiots. I emailed Earl G and said I knew I could not be the only one nominating this guy...I was right. There's a whole thread of people laughing hysterically on DU. I fully expect to see this asshat on the list next Monday. Oh...I'm also tickled pink that in one DU comment, a person posted samples of hilarious comments - one of which was mine. Tee hee. Still, the best one ever was the "Eye Am Sofa King We Tod Id...practice saying it."

And a Wiki Entry, though I'm sure that'll get canned soon.

NOMINATE PETE!

Nomiate Pete for the next Top 10 Conservative Idiots at Democratic Underground by emailing Earl G (earlg@democraticunderground.com). Subject line should read "conservative idiot". Provide a link (preferably the cached link AND an active link). See, Petey tried to backtrack and say HIS post was SATIRE, too, and then got all offended and disabled comments.

Have fun googling Peter Shinn.

Remember: Pete's post is Here

Can't stop laughing

I keep going back to that asshat's anti-abortion post based on THE ONION just to read all the comments. I've laughed so hard I've got tears rolling down my face. In the interest of sharing (serious love bolded):

Wow, this is just the belly-laugh I needed to end a fabulous weekend. While it is frightening that people can actually survive into adulthood with this severe a case of tunnel-vision and general jackassery, it least sometimes it provides a good guffaw.

Cheerio!
cellar door | 07.09.06 - 11:10 pm | #

I always suspected rabid pro-lifers were idiots. Now here's proof.

Fume all you want, abortion is still legal and most likely always will be, at least in your lifetime.
someone with more than one bra | 07.09.06 - 11:20 pm | #

Gosh, I'm sorry you got confused. It must be kind of embarrassing. I thought maybe you were doing a Colbert-style parody, but... uh, the other stuff in your blog suggests to me that that is not the case.
June | 07.10.06 - 12:09 am | #

Pwned.
SZ | 07.10.06 - 12:29 am | #

Excellent. I think you should devote all of your energies to tracking down Miss Weber and changing her mind about abortion. After all, if you can change her mind, you can change anybody's.

And don't listen to all these commenters telling you that the Onion is satire. They don't know what they're talking about. You'll show them.
caia | 07.10.06 - 1:37 am | #

Hee! Thanks for the giggle. Great satire, A+.



...wait, you were serious? I... hot damn!
Sarah | 07.10.06 - 4:39 am | #

it's good to see that for every complete jackass out there who thinks he can run our country there are a hundred people ready to laugh their asses off at him. and pete.. you are a jackass.

now if we were just more vocal everywhere. somehow these guys get away with labeling liberals as hippies and conspiracy theorists (and as people who would actually write this complete joke article), when day after day this corrupt administration proves us more right. don't let them fit our country into their tunnel vision. call them out.

((OH P.S... did anyone think that maybe pete knew this article to be a joke, but used it to pursuade other like-minded tunnel-visionists to sway in his direction?? i wouldn't put it past him.))
el nado | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 4:53 am | #

Ladies and Gentlemen... we now have a new tide mark for the shallow end of the gene pool.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 5:04 am | #

Hey, cretin, as everyone else has already told you, The Onion is a satire magazine.

The Onion article did make a good point, though. If contraception was covered by HMOs, there would be fewer pregnancies. Plus, because of you anti-choice people, pharmacists are refusing to fill perfectly legal birth control prescriptions. You anti-choice people brought on the abortions yourselves. Plus, it's clear you anti-choice people don't like sex unless its only in marriage. Talk about stupid and misguided.
The Countess | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 7:24 am | #

Oh my god, you are SUCH a MORON! )
IUnderstandSatire | 07.10.06 - 10:53 am | #

I havent laughed so much in ages. I feel lucky to have seen this, if I made a gaffe like this I'd have destroyed all evidence ASAP. But then again I took "Recognising Humour 101" and "Basic Identification of Jokes" so I knew what I was getting into.
Ben | 07.10.06 - 11:13 am | #

Oh my god, this is almost as good as the lady who complained about an article praising JK Rowling as supporting a Satanist, quoting an Onion article as her source.
Char | 07.10.06 - 11:26 am | #

Honkknob! You're an idiot.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 11:54 am | #

Hey fuckwad. Do you realize that the entire internet community is laughing at you now? Thanks for making my day.
Friedbrownball | 07.10.06 - 12:54 pm | #

Oh, but I do respect that you laid out exactly what pro-lifers really hate - promiscuous women. That is what it is all about - punishing women for having sex. If men were the ones getting pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Friedbrownball | 07.10.06 - 1:03 pm | #

This is the best thing I have read in a long time. With people like you fighting to criminalize abortion, no one has anything to worry about.
Kellly | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 1:15 pm | #

If your goal was to suck all the credibility out of your "movement," you've succeeded. Congratulations, you've made all pro-lifers look like a bunch of people who can't CHECK THEIR SOURCES.
dimsum | 07.10.06 - 3:09 pm | #

Dude, seriously, you need to get news from a more reputable source. Try http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
DeStoopidizer | 07.10.06 - 3:22 pm | #

And when Bat Boy performed the abortion, he found Osama bin Laden hiding just beyond the under-developed fetus (dialysis machine and all.)
Themuleskinner | 07.10.06 - 4:10 pm | #

AWESOME. It's only Monday, and you just made my week!
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 4:27 pm | #

Okay, I'll bite. Even if this were real, your argument about "sorry ma'am" but you shouldn't have had sex outside of marraige... makes no sense. How do you know if people are married or not? Married women get abortions. Seven-year olds that were raped can get abortions. The world isn't as simple as you think.
ELaine | 07.10.06 - 4:31 pm | #

I think you meant "Blogging without conscience."
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 4:35 pm | #

Holy fuck. Just... holy fuck. I thought the stupidometer didn't register this low, but apparently I was wrong.

Genius, "The Onion" is satire. You know, stuff made up to poke fun and make a point?

Dig out your blogging license; you're suspended until you grow some brain.
Jacky Tar | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 4:42 pm | #

You are a fucking idiot. THE ONIION IS A SATIRICAL PUBLICATION. Jesus fucking CHRIST!!! *bangs head against wall*
WTF.... | 07.10.06 - 8:28 pm | #

Why did you abort your brain?
Azuma | 07.10.06 - 8:31 pm | #

You tell 'em Pete!

Don't listen to these liberal pinko shmucks telling you that this is some sort of 'satire'. You've done a thorough and impressive job of debunking this Miss Weber bitch and those communist babykilling faggots know they don't have one single idea or argument that can stand up to your rigorous intellectual scrutiny. Their only hope now is to whine 'But we were only joking' like the crybabies they are and try to make you look like some sort of dumbass. Pay no attention! Real Americans can spot the truth a mile away, you mark my words.

These unChristian fucks pulled the same shit on us when we used an Onion article to expose Harry Potter for the Satanist cult it was. One minute we had a grassroots campaign bandwagon going, the next minute this 'satire' tag gets laid on it, and every punk-ass motherfucker on the internet starts laughing at us. It took us MONTHS to live that shit down.

Well I say enough! To hell with this liberal satire bullcrap. I'm armed, I'm a christian and I'm not afraid to defend my way of life with extreme prejudice! The next time one of you babykilling terrorist faggots wants to debase MY goddamn country and MY goddamn religion with this so-called "satire" shit, I'm going to grab the first motherfucking liberal abortionist I come across and ram my bible and a copy of the Bill of Rights up the bastard's ass. See how you'd like THAT, you satirical internet motherfuckers!
Ezekiel | 07.10.06 - 8:32 pm | #

This is awesome. Best thing I've seen all day.
The Disgruntled Chemist | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:40 pm | #

All those people are saying 'The Onion is satire' to throw you off the trail, Pete. Don't believe them. The Onion is a respected online journal - as it says in their masthead, "America's finest news source."

Keep up the good work, my friend.
decrepitoldfool | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:48 pm | #

Your new mantra:

Eye yam sofa king, we todd did.

Practice saying it out loud.
Chris | 07.10.06 - 8:49 pm | #

Wow, that second grade education is really paying off. Amazing.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 8:50 pm | #

In the blogosphere, no one can hear you check your sources, and then decide to take down the article. Well, maybe leave it up and pretend you didn't see the comments, and hope it all ends soon.

I bet this is not how you wanted your 15msecs of fame. Well, congratulation: you got it whether you like it or not.

For the record, I don't think you are necessarily stupid. I do think you might be a little too credulous, however. You might want to put together some arguments based on facts -- you ain't gonna convince many people if you keep shooting from the hip like this.

Maybe a review of "Modes of Reasoning"?

Better luck next time!
Fnord | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:50 pm | #

Pete,

This is utterly hysterical, your falling for an obvious satire/parody from a publication that's devoted to nothing other than parody. Your piece is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Orac | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:57 pm | #

Next, you can pray for a brain. I'm sure it will be just as effective.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 9:04 pm | #

Don't listen to these naysayers. They are trying to throw you off the scent. The godless ones have let too much of themselves show and you called them on it. Kudos to you.


-kyle
kyle | 07.10.06 - 9:15 pm | #

Holy crap.

Although I suppose if you can believe a carpenter walked out of a cave after three days of somatic death, there's nothing to prevent you from believing that someone would be so excited about her abortion that she'd throw a party.

I suppose you thought Jonathan Swift was serious, too.
The Teflon Don | 07.10.06 - 9:23 pm | #

lmao.
Observer | 07.10.06 - 9:30 pm | #

...I...I...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 9:43 pm | #

The Countess at 7:24 nailed it -- heh heh heh heh he typed "nailed" heh heh heh -- but maroons like you will be jokes as long as your obvious misogyny, in this form an anti-contraception angle and the blatant "SLUTS! Keep your legs shut until we MEN decide when you can have sex" attitude drives your *cough* beliefs *cough*
Henry Holland | 07.10.06 - 9:45 pm | #

My God, that was the best laugh I have had in weeks.

Thanks for putting your lack of wisdom on display for all to share
John | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 9:46 pm | #

oh dear sweet raptor jesus. i would say you've made me lose all faith in humanity, but the 70+ comments of "you're a fucking moron" slightly redeems it. Keep up the good work! Maybe you should start citing General J.C. Christian or Fafblog! Or Jon Swift! They're really reputable sources.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 10:11 pm | #

No way, man. The Onion is a hard-hitting investigative news site. Look, they've already found the author of this blog.
JB | 07.10.06 - 10:13 pm | #

Wow, you Republican yokels are really astonishingly stupid, aren't you?
Rob S | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 10:15 pm | #

Dear sir,

While I am uncertain that you have a central nervous system of sufficient complexity to register high-level emotions such as embarrassment or shame, I still must implore you: please, please, please... no matter how many people on this comment thread cast doubt on your mental capacities or call you "asshat" it is imperitive that you never delete this entry. You have accidentally written the funniest thing in history.

Johnathan Swift and Voltaire working together for a hundred years could not surpass you.

This must be preserved for posterity.
Tom Traubert | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 10:15 pm | #

Holy shit... I can't stop laughing... at you.

But really, the Onion has a good point in showing us that this is really how some radical pro-life activists really see pro-choice people. I'm triyng to be nice here... but wow, you are a fucking idiot. How long has The Onion been doing satire?... since 1988. Wow, you're eagerness to condem this woman has completely blinded you from... all reason. Here's a tip, next time you have something to write... don't.

But seriously... that was a great laugh.
NowhereMan | 07.10.06 - 10:19 pm | #

I need a new job

If for nothing more than to get away from the stink of the woman next to me who wears TOO MUCH DEODORANT.

 

You think wearing not enough deodorant is bad? Try sitting next to someone who wear so much they reek of it.

 

Gag me.

Ah yes

http://sufficientscruples.com/blog/

I'm surprised this person has the brain capacity to breathe

People, we all realize that The Onion is a completely spoof/satire/fictional "news media piece" right?

Apparently, our brain-dead pro-lifers think otherwise. I present to you the following.

March Together For Life: Murder without conscience

Seriously. This has to be the singularly most retarded person EVER. I think Terry Schiavo probably had more sense than this moron - even when she was a vegetable.

Go forth and comment - PLEASE.

Hypocrites

I am so angry right now. For whatever fucking reason, there's a whole bunch of anti-abortion nutjobs in my town right now, protesting with their big ass fucking billboards of fetuses. WHAT THE FUCK? There's no clinic that I know of in my town. God, I have never wanted to yank my steering wheel and plow into a crowd of people more than just then.

Fucking self-righteous hypocrites. Who are they to tell a woman what to do with her body? I don't like abortion, but it's not my place to tell someone what to do with their fucking body. What if the woman was raped? What if there's a serious medical complication where she and/or the baby would die or be horribly maimed? WHAT IF? WHAT IF? None of these fuckers take this into account. It's like proving a case beyond a shadow of a doubt - if you can't, then NO.

What about all the children who are UNWANTED or can't be taken care of because their mom and/or dad is too fucking poor? (And still having kids probably because some fucked up man in a pointy hat says condoms aren't moral.) I don't see these nutjobs rushing to adopt or provide FREE care en masse? Do you?

If life is so fucking precious, what the fuck do these people think about the war? Eh? A war our great moral leader LIED about to get us into? Thousands of our own dead - their families left to cope, sometimes in bad financial circumstances because the dead was the breadwinner. Thousands of Mid-East civilians dead. That's right, they don't matter, we're bringin' them democracy and they should be thanking us. Right.

Gotta keep havin' them babies (especially the brown ones) so they can grow up to be cannon fodder for our mighty military.

If you ask me, it just depends on how you like your meat: veal or tough steak. Because either way, it's going to end up dead.

Fucking hypocrites.

musings of a 24-year-old idealist

musings of a 24-year-old idealist

Wow. Just something I saw via my mapstats. Interesting.

Cameo

Did anyone else frikkin realize SIIIIR Richard Branson was one of the shuttle pilots in Superman Returns? Weird.

THINGS I HATE IN MOVIE THEATRES

1. People (usually MEN) who, instead of blowing their noses, try to inhale it all back up or something. GROSS. Just go and get a fucking kleenex already.

2. Anyone stupid enough to bring a baby or small child incapable of sitting still and quiet in a non-kids related movie. Worse yet? Bringing three of em. I was about to shit this idiotic family behind me. The theatre is no place to babysit your brats. Remember this and prosper. Or get my foot up your ass.

Who drank

the Kryptonite laced kool-aid? I just got the comic adaptation of the Superman Returns movie. They totally got it ass-backwards - wtf? It's like they worked off an earlier (and stupider) version of the script!

 

LAME!

Happy Birthday! (it's the 6th already in England)

To my Mum! I hope you got the card!

WB revisits glory days

I may actually have to <a
href=http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117946199?categoryid=14&cs=1>pay
attention</a> to this...

My walls are blue...

they would go oh so nicely with a big-ass Superman poster

 

I think it's time to be a fan-girl again

Things I have ingested (and sometimes regretted)

What do I eat that is a hint for people at the office to bug off? TUNA!

Smelly tuna breath! Woo hoo!

And then I just ate the peanutty side of a Snickers bar and now I feel gross. Remind me not to eat those again - they don't agree with my anymore.

Is it time to go home yet? So I can quote/unquote work on my paper? Just freaking exhausted from this past weekend.

More Supe, More Comics

Replying to the reply, so you talking Manhunter: Street Justice or the (green Martian) Manhunter? In my limited expertise, I looked up Manhunter on Wikipedia and came up with the Kate Spencer one first.

And yes, I have the first issue of Wonder Woman and have placed it on my shop list. Today I was at the shop for a couple hours poking around for DC stuff to read. I'll be getting Supes "For all seasons" TP, "One Year Later" TP, "Returns Prequel" TP, the "Up, Up and Away" story arc TP. I think I'm going to get the Supe All Star one as soon as trades come out. I'm trying to minimize the damage to my bank account and just buy the trades instead of collecting the single issues and then not knowing what the fuck to do with them once I want the trade.

I have miraculously beat you to your suggestion and already placed the new JLA on my shop list. The covers looked pretty. (And next, I will bet on horses...)

I kinda flipped through "52", but meh. Which Batman is Morrison going to be on? Just plain old Batman or...?

AND....(non comic-y)

Superman Returns. Again. I am officially addicted. Brandon Routh should be soaking wet more often. I think I'm partial to that scene of him pulling the yacht out of the water.

And now I am watching Batman Begins again. What I wouldn't do to see a Batman/Superman movie with both Routh and Bale in it. Yaaaargh...that would make up for the celibate lifestyle I am leading...

Why?

You know, I want to know why Ebert and Loder (of ALL people, who died at MTV and made that bag of bones a movie reviewer?) are completely down on Superman. It's starting to piss me off.

Kids, it's a comic/action flick. It is 99.999% not going to be an Oscar contender. We, the comic geekful, are not going to go and watch it expecting a performance on par with (insert Academy Award Winner here). There will be those comic purists who will be outraged by something non-canonical as well; big deal, it's a fucking MOVIE version.

Take it for what it is: a damn hot, strapping young man in blue tights who delivers his lines decently and with a decent plot and kick ass action sequences. Grab the popcorn!

I feel bad for Supes. A real nice dude (except for when you left Lois for five years, you jackass), saves the world a lot...and he's always alone.

Personally? I want another Superman movie in the works like now. And when is Lois going to wise up that Supes is Clark? Eh?

Now, a question/comment directed to Sullivan. I'd like to read more DC stuff, like Superman or Wonder Woman, but why do they make it so damn difficult by publishing 50 frikkin different Superman, Batman, etc., etc., etc., titles, all with different histories, retcons, whatever?! It's like why get invested? I'm trying to jump on board the new Wonder Woman volume but I've got my doubts. How long until they just pull some other "Infinite Crisis" and cancel/reboot again? It's too hard to keep this shit straight.

England v Portugal

Dude

Beckham totally sounds like Harry Potter. It's hilarious!

*twitches*

GOOOOOOOO(al) England! I want them to wiiiin!

Man, why is England playing so slow?

Way to fucking go Rooney. Dumbass. England loses, it'll be his fault for being such a damn dick and leaving his team in the lurch!

Okay, the thing I hate about soccer? All the fucking diva acting. God, Portugal is a bunch of whiney little bitches.

*whimpers* I can't taaaaaake it anymore!! Jesus, just SCORE a damn goal, England! They put in a freaking stork (Crouch)?

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK>!?!?!?!?!

*screams!*

HOW CAN YOU FUCKING LET THEM MISS TWICE AND NOT CAPITALIZE!!!! DAMN GERRARD AND DAMN LAMPARD.