I totally stepped into a bad comment and looked...well, rather whorish, for my efforts.
Earlier I typed about "not knowing the male appendage if it smacked me in the face". And suddenly, I am reminded of a former roommate of mine in Minnesota. She was/is a stupid psycho for a bunch of reasons. I know I'm earthy, but she was like 10x my dirty mind.
Anyhow, one day I come home from work and nature calls - - off to the bathroom. I'm sitting there, minding my business while doing my business, and I happen to look to my left at the sink counter.
Hmmm. What's that?
For about two seconds, I think it's a canister of shaving cream - it's pink and glossy like the Skintimate brand of shaving cream is.
[At some time between me parking my ass on the john and my looking at the "pink thing", my roommate comes home.]
Nuh-uh. All of a sudden, I scream/bellow my roommate's name.
Her: "WHAT?!"
Me: "GODDAMNIT!"
Her: "...OH MY GOD! Here, let me in! I'll get it!"
Me: "No, goddamnit, I'm taking a shit!"
Her: "...I was just washing it!"
I hurridly finish, wash hands, and barrel out of the bathroom.
My stupid ass roommate had left her big honking dildo on the counter. I suppose I should be thankful - - at least it was clean while sitting on top of the counter.
*rolls eyes* I got no problem with toys and things, but PLEASE return them to the toychest at the end of playtime, okay?
So, see, I'm not quite exaggerating when I say it's possible that I wouldn't know the male appendage (real or plastic) if it were to smack me in the head -- or be standing erect on a counter next to me.
** This is probably why I prefer the lavender purple or orange citrus colored cans of Skintimate, thank you.
4 comments:
That's hot!
Actually, you should have saved the "That's hawt!" for the Paris Post.
Amusing - the word verification right now is Hiszo. Very Snoop Dog.
And once again, he laughed and laughed.
I posted a comment for you related to the ABC's. Now, I'm waiting for you to come answer my latest set of questions.
I need to give this one a bit more, thought. OK, just smiling now
Umm,honey, you can buy the dildos (or is it "dildoes"?) in lavender purple and orange citrus as well. Hell, you can even get ones that light up. Don't ask me why. Maybe for the not-so-bright (no pun intended) out there?
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