Blame the Time Change

I am up and at 'em way too early for a Monday, or any day, really. I was fairly productive yesterday, but not in "important" things (i.e. lesson planning!). I could not, for the life of me, get to sleep last night. I slept very lightly.

 

I had also made it my plan to go to the gym early this morning. Because of THAT, I was up at around 4am when I really wanted to be up at 5am. I just lay there, curled on my side with my eyes closed for an hour and tried to relax, even if I couldn't actually "sleep".

 

I got to the gym and was working out by 5:40am. It opens at 5:30, and my word, there were a lot of people in there by those first ten minutes! I was on the elliptical for 40 minutes. I would have liked to be on the treadmill, but I don't think I could handle the necessary coordination that early in the morning.

 

Hauled off into the locker room and nearly gagged because some bitch had DOUSED herself (and by default, the entire locker room) in some Victoria's Secret perfume. GOOD LORD. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BATHE IN THE SHIT.

 

Got to work by 7:20am. And am now sitting here with a large coffee. Yow. I wonder when the crash is going to happen today? Because it has to - I completely didn't get enough sleep last night.

 

On the plus side: it should be easier to fall asleep tonight.

 

Crap. I was planning on calling Ronnie tonight, but he usually works until some insane hour for an office job. I need to call him and, uh, call it off quick-like. I like the guy as a human being (and that in itself is an accomplishment), I really do, but I just don't feel those romantic fuzzies for him. The whole time I was in his condo, all I could think about was, "I can't picture myself in here. I can't picture myself in here."

 

More than anything, I've felt relief knowing that I've made a decision about him. I know it's the right one for me. Beyond just him, I'm mildly impressed with how different my reaction is now, to one I would have had, say four years ago. Four years ago, I probably would have plowed ahead regardless because I would have wanted someone just to have someone.