Monday, December 17, 2007

Reso-wha?

This article cracks me up.

Be it resolved: More sex in 2008
Sex & Relationships | Remove factors from your life that contribute to diminished drive, such as bad nutrition habits, lack of sleep and stress


So, sex is healthy (assuming you're not fucking someone whose genitalia are about to drop off from some gross disease) and we should have more of it?

GREAT! Sign me up!

Oh, that's right: I think most guys are childish idiots.

Is it just me, or would legalized prostitution really be a god-send? Come on, the government is always wanting tax money. They could tax the bejesus out of this, and no one would complain. Set up a nice little place, keep it clean, make sure everyone's got their rabies shots in order - dude, what's not to love?

And think about it: we could really have sex-ed classes! No more learning from cheesey pornos or grainy amateur videos! Take Sex Positions 101 Class once a week for two hours for 16 weeks. Tuition only $2,000! No partner? No problem! Select a stud from the house stables! (Please note, I want full equality here: we ladies should have a fine assortment to select from as well!)

You may think I'm being a little Swiftian here, but actually, I don't see why we don't legalize the oldest profession in the world. Morals schmorals. Give people a safe and professional standardized outlet for some of these urges, I say. It's not going to increase cheating - - that stuff happens already regardless.

I could use some SexEd 101. It's been...a while. *ponders* Feb 1....2004? I think? Maybe? Oh hell, I can barely remember. Every time I try to imagine myself engaging in that activity, I practically start laughing. I look ridiculous in my own mind. This does not bode well for ending my trip through the love-desert.

That and the fact that I've seen far too many fucked up relationships. Who needs it! (Ah, but see, those legalized institutions would clear all that up in a jiffy! No muss, no fuss. No relationships! Just a matter of business!)

2 comments:

Kilroy_60 said...

You've been in rare form of late. I must say, I like it. 8-)

Congratulations on the degree. Now you can officially say, I are educated.

Nicholas said...

Legalized prostitution makes perfect sense, like legalized marijuana. If history tells us one thing, it is that these prohibitions do not work. The only people to do well out of them are organized crime. But then,whoever said the politicians were sensible?