Things that make you go hmmm

What is it about a Cubs championship that makes
me....well, a little bit horny?

Stick a Pacifier in It!!

Here's a tip people who breed:

 

When, in a public place, such as a Borders Cafe, I can STILL hear your squalling brat even when I'm blasting my ears with music, YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR FUCKING KID UP. BEFORE I DO.

 

THANK YOU

Cubs

THe first thing I did this morning was check the
SunTimes to make sure it wasn't all a dream.

THE CUBS CLINCHED THE DIVISION LAST NIGHT!

FINALLY back in the playoffs!

eh?

I SO think a former history teacher of mine (from last spring) hit on me over email.

 

Weird.

Today is the Day

I take over my first two classes. Nervous. I worry
about my plans either having too little or too much
time. You just can't tell how fast the students are
going to go through this until...you start!

Well, I should know how good or how bad by 11:34
today!

You knooooow...

If for some unbelieveably lucky reason, I do get that
treasure chest, I am so getting that tattoo early.

And then I'm buying a plane ticket straight to London,
bitches. And I'm staying at the Caesar off Hyde Park.

Honest to God!

I had the WEIRDEST FREAKING PHONE CALL and I almost didn't pick it up. It was the local radio station. They're doing their "treasure chest" thing. You qualify, get a key, and if your key opens up the chest, you get the money ($5K).

 

I was a complete idiot. But like I knew it was these guys. The DJ says "Who is this?" And I'm like "Uh, who is THIS?"

 

"Check your caller ID." I check and thank god I know the number! I was like "XLC?"

 

I still don't know why *I* got called. He says I texted in for their qualifying thing on the 17th of September. I COMPLETELY DO NOT RECALL DOING SO. What the hell, though. It's an opportunity for $5,000! As they say, do not kick a gift horse in the mouth.

 

But wait...the greeks also infiltrated the Trojans with a horse.

 

Do I trust the horse? Do I not? I listened to the radio and I was on it. Sounding like a dork. So it is legit.

 

STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY CALLED ME.

the DOCTOR

ROFL!

 

Dude, captain JACK and the DOCTOR ARE BAAAACK, BITCHES.

 

And DEREK FUCKING JACOBI!!!

I am an English Geek (and proud of it)

Okay, I'm not so hot or confident about the sentence diagramming I'm going to have to do, but then....then I found this website: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/diagrams/diagrams.htm

 

It is majesty. It is awesome. Check out the diagram of the freaking Preamble to the Constitution. I think I may tell the freshmen that it's their homework for the night, wait for them to freak out, and then go "JUST KIDDING!!"

 

Ha!

 

This is also majesty: http://www.visualthesaurus.com/ SO FREAKING COOL. Except you have to pay (I think) for full access. Not so cool.

 

Also, I am hanging around the French and Spanish teachers and it is hysterical. The printer ran out of paper and I went "Profesora! Yo necessito papel y yo no se donde esta."

 

Yes. Things are cool.

 

Just ask me if that's still the case after I start teaching next week. I already know which classes are going to be the hard ones. Period B (those kids are still zombies at that hour) and Period H (last period, no one wants to be there).

Frustration

So it's settled: next week I will take over the two
morning classes. And I will be teaching grammar. The
parts of the sentence. As diagramming and all that.
Ew. I completely understand the necessity of grammar,
but the way I sort of have to do it is completely out
of context. That's the way they have already started
it (they're doing parts of speech now); it's
completely unrelated to any meaningful text or
situations.

I mean, crap, do the kids already KNOW any of this? Is
there part of this they could skip? Parts they need
MORE help in? Rote memorization of grammar skills and
concepts is just NOT the best practice and yet people
persist in doing it.

I'll do my best to bring in literature, authentic
texts, or even write short paragraphs of their own,
but this sucks.

Today is a Lazy Day

Well, not quite. I just didn't do any "work" as in
school work. I got up and met my boss this morning to
do our weekly update.

Came back home and did some cleaning.

Went out to the store and did some grocery shopping. I
picked up the last items I needed to make my FUCKING
FANTASTIC beef bourguinon (recipe from Tyler
Florence). Beefy-culinary-sex-in-your-mouth, that's
how good it is, bitches.

I also made an apple pie, which is cooling. Really
disappointed in about 3/4 of the apples (granny smith)
that I bought - brown on the INSIDE. WTF? Thankfully,
I also bought golden delicious and pink ladies, so I
still had plenty. I put in some fresh grated ginger as
well. Oh YES, that just perked it up unbelieveably! (I
tasted an apple slice after I made the filling.) I
can't wait to have a small slice.

MMM. Weather is really autumnal today - perfect for
the beef bourguinon and apple pie. I love it. Gorgeous
day. Crisp of air and blue of sky. Is there anything
better than autumn?

AND PUMPKINS. I love pumpkins. Pumpkins must be the
cheeriest vegetable (?) ever. So round! So orange! You
can roll them! You can make a pie! Scones! Beer! Lots
of things! AND JACK O'LANTERNS!

Thursday the FIRST

It's just after 6am. I'm UP. I slept well. Time to do
an asana or two to get the blood flowing.

Time to get ready.

FIRST DAY!

Training

I just came back from three hours' worth of the most
inane "training" on abuse prevention in the Catholic
diocese. Seriously.

I'm not exactly the most unbiased person, either, when
it comes to the heirarchy. I had to bite my tongue
during parts of the training video where the church
official was like "to tell the truth, we have made
mistakes in the past..."

NO. REALLY? That's your stellar day-late-dollar-short
remark. I'm sure that makes abuse victims feel better,
especially considering there are still ongoing cases
of things being covered up.

Still, it was one of those things to just go to, get
through, and just file. *rolls eyes*

Still laughing

It's probably not a GOOD thing that I've been singing
"Good Golly Miss Molly/Devil With the Blue Dress"
nonstop since finding out I have to interview at the
Catholic School. Is it?

I suppose I should be glad Sister Joan the Principal
can't meet with me today and it's just with the
common-folk teachers I'm meeting.

Oh my GAWD

No pun intended...I may yet wind up at a local Catholic high school.

 

*laughs*

 

For those of you who know me, this is the ultimate irony....*proceeds to laugh self sick*

Dismal Day

After such a dismal Chicago sports day, I am watching Doctor Who.

 

Seeing David Tennant in a tux does weird things to me. Rrrawr.

Graham Norton

OH JESUS, I am DYYYYYYYING.

Just dying. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. This guy they've got in the "tardis" is completely a MORON.

Torchwood Premiere (well, late for the US at any rate)

Oh, dude, that was SUCH a rip-off of the Witchblade.
*snort* Amusing, but still a rip-off. AND I THOUGHT I
KNEW WHERE woman-who-takes-her-job-too-seriously WAS
FROM!! Thank you, IMDB!

And thank christ, Cubs got their heads out of their asses.

A favorite author...

Madeleine L'Engle died today, aged 88. I loved her
books.

Family of Blood

Holy fucking wow.

That was amazing. I've got to say, the Doctor comes off so cold and callous as compared to "John Smith". I'm sure that was intentional, and hell it really added a neat twist.

Glad there was something good on. Because the Cubs are fucking killing me.

What's really killing me: the ads for Doctor Who S3 DVDs. I wants it NOW!

Another Day of Freaking Out

Woke up today wondering what to do. I should have gone to the gym. Actually, I could still do that, and I think I will as soon as I'm done here. Just have to be home by 7pm to watch DOCTOR WHO *happy screams*.

 

I popped in to the office for a little bit today. NOTHING going on there, which is quite strange. I made several phone calls beseeching help for my placement. A former boss of mine whose wife is/was a teacher around here. Left a voicemail. My current boss actually called me after I left the office (she wasn't there when I stopped in), and once I told her the situation I was in, she said she'd call a few people as she used to work in the offices for a school district up here.

 

Called my friend, Kathy, just to talk and she has clients who work in districts (albeit in McHenry). Don't care at this point! JUST WANT A SCHOOL!! She made a phone call and got back to me with someone who said to have NEIU send in my file. YAY - some headway at least! I called the placement office and left a VM saying pretty please to do that asap.

 

MHS called me back today and said they had my file and were trying to see if anyone would be interested. Their policy is to team up STs with TWO teachers, not just one. Another thing that ticked me off though: MHS guy was surprised that I was trying to get placed for THIS semester. You could tell. So again, NEIU is the school known in the area for dropping the ball: all the other schools have had their student teachers placed ages ago!!

 

God. Please let something happen and SOON.

 

 

 

Really Need Help

Seriously, people, if you could send all positive vibes my way for getting a student teaching placement, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

I AM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT.

 

It is TWO weeks in and still nothing. Okay, when the placement guy shuts the door and tells me (even though it's not standard practice) to start calling any contacts *I* have, that's a BIG RED FLAG.

 

He's talking of placing me in a middle school. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I need a HIGH SCHOOL experience.

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send good vibes. Needing them, and badly!

Luciano

I never really listened to opera, but wow, that was a man. I'm watching the news and they showed clips of him.

 

Amazing that sounds like that can come from a human body. I hope his funeral has plenty of music. It would be a good way to celebrate his life.

Cheese-tastic!

I just watched SUCH a cheesey movie, but I loved it.
LOL

"The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a
Mountain"

I mean, young Hugh Grant, how can it NOT be
cheesetastic?

Oh, the Welsh.

I knew I loved the movie like five minutes in.

With no school...

All I'm managing to do is lay about and get lazy. I
mean, I TRY, but I stayed up late ONE night and now I
can't get back into waking up at a decent hour (by
that I mean six or seven am).

Really. I just flop in bed, trying to wake up, but
unable to emerge from my "waaah planet am I on?" state
until 10 or, now, 11.

I am the Tech Support in my family

I have received more than one call to assist my niece
with her computer related problems.

I am not "Geek Squad" smart, but I do know the basics.

1 - I know my brother should have bought a damn MAC
instead of a fucking PC. That's probably the most
important thing.

2 - Helped my niece install iTunes and get her iPod
set up last Christmas.

Late last night I got a call because her laptop
crashed and she was wondering if she lost her music.
Winds up yes, because they had to wipe the drive and
reinstall the factory settings in order to get the
computer up again. All her music was on her iPod,
thankfully, so I told her she could get it back onto
the computer.

HOWEVER, trying to explain how to do that over the
phone was proving exasperating. My brother was taking
her to the mall out by me today, so she dropped off
her computer and iPod so I could be Computer Doc.

I AM the Master. Yes, I am. I did a little research,
and found freeware that reverse loads (iPod to
Computer, instead of the other way around) for
situations just like these. However, in the course of
reloading her music back on to the computer, I made a
gruesome discovery...

MY NIECE HAD THAT FUCKING PARIS HILTON SONG "STARS ARE
BLIND" ON HER IPOD. AS IN, SHE ACTUALLY FUCKING PAID
FOR THAT CRAP.

I felt...DIRTY. I felt foul. Oh, I was deeply shamed.
Next, she's going to tell me she's a fucking
Republican. *shudders*

I quickly shot off an email enquiring if I had to send
her to musical rehab. Lord. WHAT.THE.FUCK.

Paris Hilton. Completely without street cred.

My niece has a lot of "untz-untz" or Eurotrash pop
music. She's in competitive cheerleading, so it makes
sense. It's not the most intelligent of music, but it
does have good beats to do their cheer routines. I dug
out my "NOW (that's what I call Music)" compilation
CDs. No, not the American ones, I got the bona fide UK
discs, people. Oh, so much more pop-esque! Ha ha. I
threw a bunch of songs onto her iTunes. Should be
cheerleading routine worthy.

Still. Paris Hilton.

When she, my brother and my SIL came inside to pick up
the goods, I gave her a look.

"I am deeply shamed."

"Why?"

"You had that stupid blonde...princess!"

And then of course my brother and SIL start
complaining about all the other music to begin with
(and yes, she does have some nasty bump n grind music
on there and she is BARELY 13, for chrissake).

My niece "oh...Paris Hilton song?"

Me: "YES. Anything but Paris Hilton for the love of
God!"

Autumn

It is upon us.

Is it wrong of me that many of my favorite Autumn
things are food and beverage associated?

Beef bourguinon (however the hell it is spelled, I
make a bitchin' one)
soup: potato or beef vegetable
Honeycrisp apples (oh, SO delicious)
apple cider
hot toddies
Drambuie whiskey

Granted, I also like new sweaters. And the smell of
forests. Crisp air.

Men are like Parking Spaces/ Rules of Un-Engagement

"All the good ones are taken.

The rest are handicapped."

Seriously.

Oh well, even if being "taken" weren't the case in the
example I've most recently observed, it would conflict
with my Rule (#1) of never dating a
colleague/co-worker.

I made that mistake once, and once only. There is no
amount of great, even tolerable, kissy-kissy-bang-bang
that is worth the inevitable problems caused once the
break up happens. I don't want to be in the same
fucking AREA CODE, let alone an office or classroom
once it's over.

I don't even know how I made it through that semester
after I got dumped by that jackass
ex-Mormon-wannabe-Pagan (EMWP). Sitting in the same
room was torture. I would drive home on the Edens
absolutely fucking losing my mind, crying hysterically
and screaming myself hoarse after class. (And in case
you're wondering, NO, I don't take break-ups well.)

Rule #2: Avoid dating someone who's got spawn to care
for. Not that this doesn't work out on occasion (my
brother is a working example; my SIL had a son - my
nephew - before she met my brother), but let's be
realistic. Jackass EMWP I broke Rule #1 with had
spawn. One year younger than me, had a kid by 19 and
already divorced. His ex tried to kill him two times.
Damn shame she missed both times, I say. I mean,
really, what else can you say besides, he's fucked up,
she's fucked up and their kid is gonna BE fucked up?
AND USE A GODDAMN FUCKING CONDOM, you fertile myrtles.
Oh, good story of Cuckoo spawn not working? My idiot
cousin knocked a girl up (he could've been charged
with statutory, the IDIOT). She had his spawn.
Eventually the whole thing went bust, but they knocked
boots on occasion. She got pregnant again. Said it was
his. Treats it like his own. Few years later -
surprise! That second one wasn't his! She was fucking
around with another guy. Except she tells me cousin if
he doesn't continue to pay for the Cuckoo, he's not
going to see his own kid. Okay, that girl is a
flat-out gang-banging ho. But you see my point.

Can I just pose a general question? WHY THE HELL DON'T
PEOPLE USE CONDOMS?! Don't give me that "dulls the
sensation" crap either. That's what you have toys and
lube for.

Rule #3: Never call after the end. Never. Lose the
number, delete the emails, burn all remembrances.
Learned that the hard way, too, after the Cheesehead.
Put it to use with the EWMP. Cold Turkey is best.