Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wherein I lay the English smackdown

I don't know about you, but I find it embarassing when there are stupid grammatical errors in formal writing. Here, in blogosphere, it's not such a big deal.
 
Let's say, however, a legal missive directing a foreign firm to do certain action on a company's behalf?
 
"Kindly confirm receipt of this letter and it's enclosure."
 
What's wrong with that sentence? I'll give you a few seconds to ponder.
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Figured it out?
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The "it's" is incorrect. Shit like "it's" vs "its" and "their", "there", "they're" drives me motherfucking NUTS. Oh, let's not forget "you're" and "your" (and I suppose the ubiquitous "ur") either. Who/whom? Do you know that one? One can be used as a subject, the other is objective case use only.
 
Anyway, the word needed in that sentence above was "ITS". "Its" without an apostrophe is POSSESSIVE. "It's" WITH apostrophe is a contraction of TWO words, a subject pronoun and a verb: it & is.
 
I do have some modicum of tact. I walked over to the woman who wrote it (this is NOT the first time I noticed this in one of her letters), and kindly pointed it out. Her response? "Spell-checker didn't catch it!"
 
"That's because it's a valid word. It's just wrong in context."
 
"Well, what about grammar checker?"
 
I look at her computer screen. "It sucks." THE GRAMMAR CHECKER IS YOU. Please do not count on Bill Gates' technology to do it for you.
 
Seriously. It is so easy. JUST TAKE A SECOND TO PROOFREAD. Do you really mean to have a contraction there? Say it out the long way: "Kindly confirm receipt of this letter and it is enclosure." Does that make sense? No? Then you probably shouldn't use the apostrophe!
 
And law firms are seeing this. *rolls eyes*
 
P.S. Back to the leetspeak "UR" thing. I generally detest that stuff unless I'm in a real hurry texting or being sardonic. I just had some abject retard message me on plentyoffish using a bunch of leetspeak. I read his profile. Full of it. I deleted his message unread. I'm sorry, if you write that unintelligently, what the hell makes you think I'm going to want to have anything to do with you? Did you not read my profile? I think I'm just a bit overeducated for your ghetto-ass then.
 
I'm going to be alone for the rest of my overpicky life. Better stock up on batteries and toys.

1 comments:

Nicholas said...

I so agree with you!

I also get very exercised at the inability of people to use the word "me" instead of "I". Between you and I, this is a great help to my friends and I, come with my wife and I. Fucckk!!!!! Didn't they go to school?