Thursday, November 22, 2007

A Thanksgiving, of sorts

So, spent yesterday evening baking pies and prepping other things for today. Got up early today and kept on going. Turkey took FOREVER to finish. We finally ate about 6:30 or 7pm. No pie yet. We're over at my dad's.
 
My grandma is really, really bad. It would be a blessing for her to pass today, as the hospice thinks she will. She hasn't been able to eat or drink (if she tries, she throws it back up) for at least the past two days. Since yesterday, pretty much, she's just been on hourly doses of morphine to keep the pain managed and to keep her unconscious. It was pretty hard on Tuesday to be here and hear her say she was hungry, but being unable to feed her because we all (and she did, too) that it just wouldn't stay down.
 
She can't even swallow now. She's just making gurgling sounds.
 
This is a cruel way to go. Cancer really really sucks.
 
My dad is is none too good shape, either. I guess he started crying today when the hospice worker told him it would probably be today and to just keep her doped up. I'm telling you people, in my 30 years of living, I have only seen my dad cry ONCE. That's probably going to be the part that freaks me out the most.
 
And my brother is in the fucking room praying the goddamn rosary. Fuck me, that's freaking me out, too. When the fuck did HE go all holy-roller?
 
If you ask me, god pretty much sucks for allowing people to die in this much undignified pain.

3 comments:

Nicholas said...

If you read your bible you'll see that god is capable of all kinds of sadism and cruelty. We are lucky that it doesn't actually exist.

Lippy said...

Oh you poor thing - I can only hope it's all over soon , for your gran especially!

*DB* said...

It is, thankfully. She passed Friday morning early. Viewing tomorrow. Egads, I really hate viewings.