'Devin Can't Wait' a reel football classic

Devin Hester is the sickest kick returner...EVER. I cannot believe the man!!

December 12, 2006

BY JAY MARIOTTI Sun-Times Columnist ST. LOUIS -- If a game could be reduced to watching Devin Hester nodding and talking to himself, bobbing his head while awaiting a kick that he can deliver to the house any time whatsoever, you'd have no worries. We are witnessing maybe the greatest returner ever, the most pulsating No. 23 in Chicago since You Know Who, and I am tempted to place him in a cocoon and forget about the rest of the Bears, including Rex Grossman.

''It looks like the gates of heaven just opening up for me,'' said Heaven Devin.

Call him unfriggin'believable. Call him the freak of freaks. Call him Gale Sayers, Deion Sanders, a miracle in stick-on eye black. Give him a nickname, too, like Billy (White Shoes) Johnson. All you need to know about Hester, as he returned two more kicks for touchdowns Monday night and blew away the NFL single-season record and every St. Louis ghost in his path, is that the normally humdrum Lovie Smith was boogeying down the sideline after his 96-yard sprint in the fourth quarter.

And talking, at long last, about maximizing the rookie's sizzle by playing him on offense. I mean, duhhhhh. Get Hester as many touches as possible. Be creative and wild. Because you are watching football's most exciting player, a dizzier blur than Reggie Bush and Vince Young, a kid who made hair grow on Tony Kornheiser's head during a 42-27 victory that temporarily eased Bears angst everywhere.

A shout-out to Neon Deion''It's about time we start looking at him as an offensive player,'' Smith volunteered late in the night. ''Devin has made as much impact as any rookie. He's made so many big plays.''

So many, in fact, that he evoked images of Neon Deion, the flamboyant flash who has spent time teaching Hester the return trade. Aren't you the new Neon Deion, kid, doing those Sanders dances as America lapped it up? ''That was a little shout-out to him,'' Hester said. ''I was thanking him for the time I spent with him and for him being my mentor.''

Chicago thanks him, too. For Hester is saving a season. Like Sanders, Heaven Devin wants to be the most feared guy in the league, and with a 94-yard kickoff return in the first half and his crowning blow late, can anyone dispute the claim? With a Band-Aid placed on the Grossman issue, we can better appreciate the miracle of Hester, who now has six kick return for scores. Think of all the electric return men through time, and it's stunning to think he has more TD returns after 13 games than Deion, White Shoes or anyone else put together over a season. With the Bears trailing 6-0 and begging for an early jolt, Hester provided it, whipping around the left side, flipping on the turbochargers and high-stepping into the end zone. He saves his best work for national audiences, fueling the Arizona comeback with an 83-yard punt return for a score and defining the victory over the Giants with his 108-yard return of a missed field goal.

Why, oh, why do other teams even kick to him?

''It's the NFL,'' Hester said. ''Teams aren't going to bow down to one player. One player can't beat the other team.''

Wanna bet?

I cannot write entirely after Hester, not after Grossman answered a call to either play like a legit NFL quarterback or get out of our lives. What we've always liked about the guy is his poise, and if it wobbled like a weeble the last two months, he recovered it in time to restore some measure of faith he might not collapse in the playoffs. It would be dumb to make any rash proclamations, but for now, until the next game, a quarterback who had committed more turnovers since Oct. 15 than 31 NFL teams -- only Pittsburgh was worse than Rex, 22-18 -- needn't worry about trading his job for a backwards cap.

Rex did not choke. Not only did his passer rating soar from 1.3 into double digits, it climbed to 114.4, which should stop the newspapers from splashing his name across the front page like a civic epidemic and calm down amateur shrinks trying to psychoanalyze his entire being.

''I was able to relax. It was easy,'' Grossman said. ''There was a lot of pressure on me to do that -- I had to do it. Efficient, decisive, got the ball out of my hand, went to the right guy, played with a sense of rhythm and efficiency. Obviously, I wanted to respond the way the coaches were backing me.''

His leash just grew a little longer, as Smith was only happy to rub in our faces afterward. ''Rex Grossman went through a lot. His game has been dissected by everyone who knows football,'' he said. ''There was a lot of pressure on him, and he stepped up to the plate.''

Who couldn't appreciate the joy in Grossman's step as he raced off the field after the Muhammad score, raising his arms? Who didn't notice Griese patting him on the helmet after Berrian's TD? The idea now is to maintain the vibe and momentum and transport it to the playoffs.

Rex responds. Again, in the volatile world of Rexdom, it's just one good performance, giving him three in his last eight games. Batting .375 might win a batting title, but it's not going to win you a Super Bowl. Let's see what happens in the winter blur of Soldier Field two of the final three regular-season games before declaring, once and for all, that he's a better postseason idea on January lakefront weekends than Griese. But you have to like how Grossman responded when an entire football nation was waiting for him to bomb out.

It helps when he has a weapon like Hester, who would help the quarterback immensely. With Nathan Vasher's absence, Hester was filling in at cornerback and beaten on an early touchdown pass. But you know he's a special talent when he responds with an instant TD. It has reached the giddy point where Bears fans, numbering in the thousands, let out a chagrined ''awwwwwww'' when Hester called for fair catches as a punt returner.

''It's just vision,'' he said.

Can his eyes see Miami, his old college town, host of Super Bowl XLI?

Jay Mariotti is a regular on ''Around the Horn'' at 4 p.m. on ESPN. Send e-mail to inbox@suntimes.com with name, hometown and daytime phone number (letters run Sunday).